Asking for Help
June Hetzel

  

I am part of the fifteen percent of the general population that prefers to work alone, and so I often forget the concept of teamwork.  In my mind, I think I am responsible for every aspect of household chores, schoolwork, and business.  I tend not to ask for help, but instead, attempt to carry the load alone.  Nothing could be more exhausting.

My husband, Geoff, has helped me learn that sharing the household duties can be liberating and fun.  Geoff often does the grocery shopping, cooking, and/or clean-up for meals.  When we first got married, I had some difficulties accepting that he actually wanted to be in the kitchen.  I felt obligated to be in the kitchen and fought for control at all times.

Over the last seven years of marriage, I have learned to "let go" and share the joys and challenges of household tasks.  I now find that I can come home from a hard day's work and enjoy a meal my husband has cooked.  It's okay to take turns with household duties and to deviate from traditional roles.  I have also learned to say, "I need help.  We are having company to night, and which part of this list can you do, honey?"

Because we all have different gifts and preferences, your household's sharing of tasks will look quite different than mine.

If it's difficult for you to accept the kind help of others, why not say, "Thanks, yes, you may," instead of "No, I can do it."  They may not do it in the same way you would, but they'll appreciate being involved.  Teamwork makes the load light.  If we deprive others of the opportunity to share, we're stealing their opportunity for abundant living.

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Letting go doesn't mean we don't care.  Letting go doesn't mean we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which usually means
taking care of ourselves.  And we do this in gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possible.


Melody Beattie

  

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The harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions,
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