Cultivating Happiness
Rinatta Paries

  

We always seem to want those things we don't have. Moreover, we are often convinced that if we had those things we want so badly, we would finally be happy.

Singles who want to be in a relationship often believe once they are in one they will finally be happy. Those in shaky relationships hope their relationship will work out, because having worked it out will finally make them happy.

"I will be happy when I am in love." "I will be happy when he/she does really loves me."  "I will be happy when I know he or she is committed to me."  "I will be happy when my husband/wife is more considerate."  Sound familiar?

The truth is that happiness is an attitude. It's not something created by outside circumstances, but instead is completely within your control.  This means that you can be happy regardless of whether you are in a relationship or not.  You can be happy regardless of whether your relationship is working out or not.  If fact, if you cultivate happiness, your relationship will improve.

You will not get that deep sense of satisfaction and happiness you crave just by getting or improving a relationship.  Nothing will give you that sense of happiness, unless you cultivate it consciously.

Is the glass half empty or half full?  Life and relationships work better when the glass is half full.  Below are some simple yet specific steps you can take to cultivate happiness and see the glass half full, regardless of your relationship status.

1. Be grateful
Create a sense of gratitude for what you have, for what is working, for what is wonderful and sweet in your life.  A morning or evening gratitude list, written each day, can do wonders for helping you feel grateful.

2. Take care of yourself 
Identify the small things in life that make you feel good, and do one daily.  A short walk, a few minutes of writing in your journal, a short meditation, watching the sunset.  Whatever reminds you that you are a human being and not a human doing will improve your outlook on life.

3. Be creative
Creativity and self-expression generate happiness.  Schedule some creative time each day, even if it's just a few minutes of writing, painting, sculpting, etc.

4. Move
Moving our bodies generates feel-good hormones called endorphins.  Move a little every day to stay happy.

5. Get someone to take care of you
It feels good to be taken care of, even in small ways.  Get a massage, a manicure, someone to carry your groceries, launder your clothes, or fix something for you.

6. Read inspirational material
It helps to be reminded of positive thoughts and positive attitudes.  Get a small book of positive, inspirational thoughts and keep it by your desk.  Read one or two thoughts each day.

7. Contribute
Stand up for something that matters to you.  Contributing, making a difference feels good.  It boosts your self-esteem, your gratitude and feeling of well being.

8. Get some time
I know this one is hard, especially if you are a single parent.  But if you are determined, you can find some time every day to just be.  Make sure you do this - it will make a big difference in your ability to be happy.

9. Be in nature
Nature rejuvenates and restores the human spirit.  Whether your brand of nature is mountains or the ocean, give yourself the gift of visiting it frequently.

10. Be happy
No matter how many wonderful things you do to create a positive, happy, satisfied life, you could still end up unhappy.  Ultimately, happiness, gratitude, a feeling of satisfaction is a choice.  People often do not choose happiness.  Many feel refusing to be happy will somehow get them what whey want, like a child holding his breath.  Holding your breath will not get your what you want.  It is happiness that attracts.

Your Relationship Coach,
Rinatta Paries
www.WhatItTakes.com

   
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This article was originally published by Coach Rinatta Paries in "The Relationship Coach Newsletter," a weekly e-zine for people who want fulfilling relationships.

  
  

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