Between the
ages of one and three, your previously gentle and loving toddler
will have a change of personality to rival Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.
She will no longer be content to accept your rules for everything,
but will want her own say in what she does and does not do.
Quite frequently, this will result in toddler tantrums.
When a toddler starts having tantrums, the first thing her parents
should do is decide what is important and what isn't important.
If you want to have your own way in everything your toddler
disagrees with, then you're likely to spend the majority of your
time in a battle of wills. The best plan is to make as few
rules as possible. Your child will be more likely to adhere to
a lower number of rules and she will also know that those rules are
important. Letting her get away with eating breakfast cereal
with her fingers may be worth the mess if you know that she will
definitely hold your hand to cross a road.
Once you do decide what is important, don't give in. Make sure
your rules are constant. If you make a rule that no chocolate
biscuits may be eaten an hour before tea-time, stick by that rule,
even if your toddler's cries are loud enough to annoy the neighbours.
Once you give in and hand her a chocolate biscuit, she'll expect one
every time she cries.
A toddler has a tantrum to try and get what they want. If this
usually works, they will continue to have tantrums. If, on the
other, a tantrum never produces the result they want, they will soon
give it up as ineffective.
|
|
There are a number of things you can do, when your
child is in the middle of a tantrum, that does not mean having to
give in.
1. Ignore her. Most tantrum-throwers are trying to
attract attention. If you don't give her that attention, she
will lose interest and stop the tantrum.
2. Send her to bed or to her room. This gives both of
you a cooling down period.
3. Leave her. Obviously, don't take your eyes off the
child if you do this in public.
4. Distract her. Start to play with a new toy, get your
child a drink, go outside for a walk. Do whatever it takes to
get your toddler's mind off the problem.
Toddler tantrums are an inevitable part of a child's development.
They can't be completely avoided. But with some back-up
options, hopefully the amount of time your child spends in a tantrum
will be reduced.
Copyright Liz Palmer. Liz Palmer is the publisher of a weekly ezine for mothers called
Mothers_zine. It includes articles, handy hints, recipes and
more.
|
|
