Justification
Gail Pursell Elliott

  
I have been approached by many people over the years who have become so embittered and filled with righteous indignation over what they experienced by being mobbed, bullied, or similarly mistreated that they have turned into frightening individuals. They became stalkers, judgmental, hypervigilant, and even mobbers by engaging in the same kind of behavior that caused them so much trauma, and all in the name of justice. 

Most people do not do anything without some sort of reason or justification for what they do.  People can engage in reprehensible conduct towards others fully believing that they are dong the right thing.

Others use negative experiences as justification not to move forward with their lives.  They blame others for their present condition though the people and situations that caused them distress are long behind them. 

In all these situations what is focused upon is the negative experience and its impact which perpetuates negative energy.  The only way to combat evil is with good.

This does not mean that when confronted with negativity that positive people do nothing.  What it does mean is that the actions that are taken, whether internally or externally are positive, based upon truth rather than deception.  Otherwise the negative feelings and actions of others become internalized, part of the person's reality and behavior.

Over time, some have become extremely ill due to not only the stress of situations but also the stress of not letting go of the situation.  They are either unwilling or unable to shake the filth of the experience from their shoes and move on.

There are a number of reasons for this.  The person may have adopted a victim mentality, may feel guilty that they were unable to prevent or protect themselves from the experience and may feel powerless as a result.  Even if the other person makes some sort of gesture to reconnect, the person may reject the opportunity either from fear, suspicion, or mistrust. 

People who use justification in negative ways are impossible to help, until they are ready.  They will resist or reject any form of positive suggestion, choosing the position that whatever happens they will never get over it.  The pain becomes more powerful than any possibility of ending it.  They choose to give their power over to fear, uncertainty and doubt, and allow it to consume them.

It is sad to watch people destroy themselves with anger, resentment, or even righteous indignation that is maintained over years. 

It is sadder still to watch them use the internalized negativity to label and stereotype other people and situations, even using positive concepts from a negative base, never seeing that the justification for this is flawed by their own perspective. 

Saddest of all is to watch them contaminate the perspectives of others with this type justification, never realizing that they are doing more harm than good.

To take responsibility for our own existence, our own perspectives, values, and beliefs, is one of the most difficult lessons in life.  Yet we must or we will forever be at the whim of uncertain fate, continually reacting to the words and actions of others. 

It is also important for us to know when to stop trying to convince someone of something that they are unwilling to accept, whether we believe they are on a destructive path or not. We may simply not be the right person at the right time or are not able to speak in a language that person can hear deep within and understand.

Sometimes the people we want most to save are those who are the least able to hear us.  We can get caught up in feeling responsible for the choices of others when it is not our burden to bear. 

Each of us has a mission and people whose lives we are able to touch in a positive way.  None of us is capable of saving everyone, but each of us is able to save someone.  There is someone who is intended to save us as well.  We are all interconnected in that way. 

Knowing when to step in and when to step back is part of treating others and ourselves with dignity and respect.  Insight and awareness is the key to that knowing.  Actions based on that inner truth need no justification for they are simply an expression of who we truly are.

Have a Great Day and be good to yourself. You deserve it!

Gail


Gail Pursell Elliott,  "The Dignity and Respect Lady";  Innovations "Training with a Can-Do Attitude"    Box 552, Roland, IA 50236-0552; 515-388-9600; 515-231-8828 cell/voice mail www.innovations-training.com; info@innovations-training.com   Promoting Dignity and Respect, No Exceptions.

  
   


 
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