Sometimes Undoing and
Forgetting Are Best

Asoka Selvarajah

  

Often, we seek to improve ourselves through doing and learning.  However, often undoing and forgetting can accomplish much more!

By this, I mean that we already have a lot of negative build-up inside us that we need to examine, discover and release before we can hope to make any true progress.  Without doing so, setting goals and having bright hopes will be like trying to drive your car forward when your foot is frozen on the brake, and the car is in reverse anyhow! You're not going to go anywhere, and certainly not forward.

Yet too often, we try to do just that.  We seek to acquire new skills and knowledge that we think will help us without examining what is already there that stops us.  This explains why we often seem to get nowhere no matter how hard we try.

It has taken me the last two years away from my last job in investment banking to truly recover a semblance of myself and what I am capable of.  I had to remember my own creativity and self-esteem.  However, I also had to forget the years of implicit put-downs; where people did not give me credit for the good work I did, or I was forced to engage in political games instead of expanding my abilities to their fullest extent without inhibition, and being justly recognized for it.

As a result, I have had to forget the years of damage that this has caused to my creativity and my own self-belief.  Before you can truly remember what you are capable of (often, last fully expressed as a child), you have to forget what is NOT you.  Without the forgetting, the remembering can have little practical outcome.

Likewise, we have to UNDO before we can do. To use another example from my own life, once upon a time, I had an amazing talent for holding grudges. When I came to the realization that this tendency was not really me, but more a matter of what I saw around me, I was able to be conscious about it and give it up.

I realized that it was NOT me and more closely resembled a software program installed within me, and set to run under certain specific circumstances. I was able to UNDO first. Thereafter, I could better DO, with regards to creating better relationships and being more tolerant and understanding.

However, much of the success in being able to UNDO or to FORGET is being able identify the problem within you in the first place. All too often we look for the problem outside of ourselves. In truth, the starting point is always within. Once we can see the accretions that have piled up upon us, and that are NOT us, we can begin to undo and forget them.

This then creates an excellent ground upon which doing and learning can proceed, and are most likely to result in the desired success.
   

Copyright.  Asoka Selvarajah   All Rights Reserved.

  
   


 
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