Often, we seek to
improve ourselves through doing and learning. However, often undoing
and forgetting can accomplish much more!
By this, I mean
that we already have a lot of negative build-up inside us that we
need to examine, discover and release before we can hope to make any
true progress. Without doing so, setting goals and having bright
hopes will be like trying to drive your car forward when your foot
is frozen on the brake, and the car is in reverse anyhow! You're not
going to go anywhere, and certainly not forward.
Yet too often, we
try to do just that. We seek to acquire new skills and knowledge
that we think will help us without examining what is already there
that stops us. This explains why we often seem to get nowhere no
matter how hard we try.
It has taken me
the last two years away from my last job in investment banking to
truly recover a semblance of myself and what I am capable of. I had
to remember my own creativity and self-esteem. However, I also had
to forget the years of implicit put-downs; where people did not give
me credit for the good work I did, or I was forced to engage in
political games instead of expanding my abilities to their fullest
extent without inhibition, and being justly recognized for it.
As a result, I
have had to forget the years of damage that this has caused to my
creativity and my own self-belief. Before you can truly remember
what you are capable of (often, last fully expressed as a child),
you have to forget what is NOT you. Without the forgetting, the
remembering can have little practical outcome.
Likewise, we have
to UNDO before we can do. To use another example from my own life,
once upon a time, I had an amazing talent for holding grudges. When
I came to the realization that this tendency was not really me, but
more a matter of what I saw around me, I was able to be conscious
about it and give it up.
I realized that it was NOT me and more
closely resembled a software program installed within me, and set to
run under certain specific circumstances. I was able to UNDO first.
Thereafter, I could better DO, with regards to creating better
relationships and being more tolerant and understanding.
However, much of
the success in being able to UNDO or to FORGET is being able
identify the problem within you in the first place. All too often we
look for the problem outside of ourselves. In truth, the starting
point is always within. Once we can see the accretions that have
piled up upon us, and that are NOT us, we can begin to undo and
This then creates
an excellent ground upon which doing and learning can proceed, and
are most likely to result in the desired success.
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