seems odd that we have a hard time allowing ourselves to
love ourselves. Somehow we've come to believe that
such a thing is selfish, self-indulgent, or even
worse. But loving ourselves is an absolutely
necessary first step to being able to love any one else
truly--and by truly I mean completely
unconditionally. For such is the essence of true
I like about Kingma's words here is the fact that she
gives us a strategy for being able to love
ourselves. She reminds us that we are able to feel
love and compassion for others, so why should we not be
able to feel that love and compassion for ourselves?
Your life has been "imperfect," and so has
mine. Why are you able to show me sympathy and
compassion when I do something wrong, but you're so
incredibly hard on yourself for your mistakes? it
doesn't make sense, and it certainly isn't fair to you or
to the people you share your world with.
you could hear my story, you'd understand my actions and
inactions better. If I could hear your story, I'd
understand yours better. You know your own story, so
give yourself a break and give yourself credit for coming
through some hard times. Show yourself the
compassion that you long for from others, and give
yourself the love that only you can give.
will find that as your ability to love yourself grows,
your ability to love others grows even more, for you will
need less and less back from them. Most love is
conditional, and it depends on returns, what we get
back. But what will happen when I no longer need to
get anything back from others in order to love them?