find it very easy to look at problems with my mind on how
I want things to turn out. A conflict with a
friend? I know how that should turn out.
Difficulties on the job? Well, I can tell you just
how those should be solved. This approach, though,
doesn't allow for the possibility that the problems we
encounter in life have something to teach us. The
problems with friends can deepen the friendship, if only
we look at the problem without preconceived notions of how
the problem should be solved. The problems at work
can help us to learn to be more effective on the job--if
only we look for the truth in the problem by addressing it
honestly and directly.
new problem that we face could be addressed in a unique
way if we allow the problem itself to determine how we
address it. Unfortunately, we tend to fall into the
same patterns that we've used before--after all, haven't
those methods "worked" in the past? But
this approach doesn't respect the newness of each problem,
nor does it respect the fact that we change as people, and
as we changed we should find new ways of dealing with
problem brings its own reality. We don't always like
what we find, especially when we discover that we
ourselves have been one of the major causes of a
problem. But that truth should not make us flinch
from dealing with the problem honestly--after all, only
when we learn how we've caused problems can we change our
actions in order to avoid causing similar problems later.
though, for "facts" are relative. A
"fact" to me ("John was being
stubborn") may not be the same to someone else
("Thank God John stuck to his guns!").
Learn through objectivity and as time goes on, your
problems will be fewer and much, much easier to deal with.