is, indeed, a somewhat frightening thought. We are
responsible for our own lives. Not our parents, not
our spouses, not our siblings, not our bosses or
co-workers or friends or enemies. We are responsible
for what happens to us, and for the paths that our
recently saw a young woman being interviewed who said that
her boyfriend's anger at her and his violent reactions to
her were mostly her fault. A therapist who was with
her told her simply and clearly: we cause no one to
react in any way at all. All of her boyfriend's
actions and reactions were his choice, and they had
nothing to do with her at all. Her choice not to
leave a violent boyfriend was hers alone, and it was a
choice based in fear--fear of being alone, fear of being
unlovable, fear of him and his reactions.
often use other people's actions or reactions as
justification for many of our choices in life.
Despite years of alcoholism and mental and emotional
abuse, a woman I know never left her husband. That
was her choice, and the choice was built in fear.
That fear caused her to live many, many years with an
abusive spouse, yet she has claimed that life hasn't been
fair to her.
often claim that others "cause" us to be certain
ways or to do certain things. That simply isn't
true. How free we will be when we claim our heritage
of freedom and peace of mind and peace of heart, and make
our decisions based on love, after asking the question,
"what would be the most loving thing to do in this
situation, for me and all involved?"
Do you make most decisions out of love, or out of fear?
Have you ever been taught by anyone that your life is
your responsibility? If so, what was that person
How many role models do we have that live the idea that
they are responsible for their own lives, decisions, and