November 1

Today's quotation:

It's important that people should know
what you stand for.  It's equally important
that they know what you won't stand for.

Mary H. Waldrip

Today's Meditation:

Clarity is an important element of our lives.  Clarity at the bottom line is simply being clear about something--our thoughts, our beliefs, our values.  And while it's not necessary for us to impose our values upon others in order to live full lives, it is important that we take care of ourselves by making sure that other people treat us as we wish to be treated.  And they can't do that unless we let them know our standards so that they can treat us according to those standards.

There are certain words that I never want to hear--they're simply unacceptable to me as a human being.  There are certain ways that I won't accept people talking to me, for they make me feel basically awful.  There are certain standards that I set for myself in my life that I want others to respect, and if I truly respect myself, then I'll insist that others respect me, also.

It's not about setting rules or trying to get people to act in certain ways.  It's not a question of setting unattainable standards that no one else can meet.  It's also not about being rigid or inflexible.  It is about self-respect and the maintenance of our own dignity.  You and I both deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, and sometimes we simply have to set standards if we want to be treated as we deserve to be treated.

There's a very short list of things that I simply won't stand for, for I realize that other people see life differently than I do.  They don't see the harm in things that I see harm in, and I don't feel a need to make them see things my way.  But those things on that short list are very, very important to me, and if I want to treat myself well, I do need to let others know what I will and won't stand for.

Questions to consider:

What sorts of things won't you stand for?

Do you let others know what types of things you will and won't stand for?

How can you let people know in a sensitive way what you won't accept?

For further thought:

Ulysses S. Grant was in the company of men who began
to make off-color and ribald jokes.  Grant stepped in
and told the men to cease making such crude jokes as it
was inappropriate.  One man replied, "But sir, there are no
ladies present."  Grant returned, "But there are gentlemen."

unattributed

  

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