Today's
Meditation:
I
know many people who would get upset about today's
quotation, especially if they were to take the time and
make the effort to realize that it's applicable to
them. I had a neighbor once who constantly
complained about what a rotten hand life had dealt him,
and he made sure that I knew that none of it was his
fault. Everything that went wrong in his life had to
do with his wife (who was going through severe
medical/emotional problems), his kids, his job. . . you
name it.
And
while he was a man who definitely would have claimed that
he was in control of his own life and destiny, his
complaints made it very clear that he didn't truly feel
that way. His complaints gave him a way to make it
seem that he was deserving of everyone's sympathy, and
that others couldn't expect too much out of him because of
how bad things were in his life.
I
learned a lot from him, especially since he often used me
as a sounding board. I learned that no matter how
bad things might seem to me, there are many others who
have things much worse. And I learned to recognize
in my own complaining (which I like to think wasn't as
common as his) the same thought patterns that turned me
into a blameless victim of people and forces outside of
myself. And when I recognized them, I'd ask myself
"Do I sound like What's-his-name?" And the
answer usually was an unflattering "Yes."
So
I've tried to stop playing the blame game. I've
tried to take my life into my own hands. I've
studied on what that means, and I've asked people I admire
how they do what they do. And as I try not to blame,
I've come to realize that 99.9% of the time, there's
really no need to blame anyone at all--things are as they
are, and even if they're somewhat negative, they probably
are not anyone's fault. And that realization frees
me to live my life in a very calm, relaxed way. And
I like that. My life is my responsibility--that
doesn't mean I need to control it, but how I act in it is
completely up to me. And having my life in my own
hands can even mean letting go of the need to control it.
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