April 14

The healthy, the strong individual,
is the one who asks for help when
he or she needs it, whether he
or she had an abscess on his or
her knee or in his or her soul.

Rona Barrett


Today's Meditation:

I was brought up to believe that asking for help was akin to weakness.  Neither of my parents had ever been taught to ask things of other people, so they grew up themselves without learning what it meant to ask for help.  For them, life has been about stubborn independence and getting by on their own.  As a young man, I never realized just how damaging this tendency has been to me, but now that I'm older I see just how many opportunities my own inability to ask for help has cost me.

Life has been much more pleasant in the last decade or so, though, since I learned that not only is there no shame in asking for help when I need it, but that doing so gives me many opportunities to grow and learn, and to get to know other people better and to develop a greater appreciation for other people's contributions to my life.  When other people are able to give to me because I ask them for help or advice, they feel better and I feel better, as long as I don't abuse the privilege of asking someone else for their help in my life.

Asking for help doesn't turn us into wimps.  It is not a sign of weakness.  When I do ask for help, I'm actually showing the strength of character that recognizes that I can't do everything all the time, and other people's expertise and experience may be better for me than my own stumbling along in what is for me completely uncharted territory.

When we need help, we cannot be too stubborn to ask for it.  We cannot be too proud to allow someone else to help us.  We need to ask the right people (not someone who's going to hold if over our heads!) and get done what we need to do, and allow someone else to contribute to the beautiful mosaic of our lives.

Questions to consider:

Why do some people find it so difficult to be able to ask for help from others? 

How do you feel when someone else asks you for your help?  If you feel good, can you make someone else feel that way by asking them for help?

From where does the myth come that asking for help is a sign of weakness?  Do you believe in that myth?

For further thought:

Keep in mind that part of growing up is learning how to deal with difficult issues, and the benefits can be great if you have the courage to ask for help. Human beings are not designed to go through life alone. No one has to bear the burden of the tough times all by themselves.

Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, and Kimberly Kirberger


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