March 13

Life is not the way it's
supposed to be.  It's the
way it is.  The way you
cope with it is what
makes the difference.

Virginia Satir


Today's Meditation:

What an incredibly simple perspective--but certainly not simplistic.  Life is the way it is.  If more of us could deal with that reality, then I believe that we would find that life isn't nearly as difficult as we sometimes think it is.  If we could see things this way, then we wouldn't spend nearly as much time fretting or stressing ourselves out because life isn't becoming what we think it should be or what we've expected it to be.

If we think of what life's "supposed to be," then we're thinking of being able to control life--controlling the weather, the actions and reactions of other people, the performance of the business where we work and all the other companies with which ours does business so that ours remains stable, and so many other things that it's inconceivable even to list them.  Yet how many times do we hear people say things like, "that's now how this was supposed to end up"?

I see myself as having two main duties on this planet:  dealing with life and the changes it throws my way, and helping others to learn to do the same thing in their own ways.  When life throws me a curveball and upsets things that I've put into motion--like when I got laid off three years ago after having just bought a house--it's up to me to make sure that I don't lose my peace of mind, that I still try to enjoy life while searching for the changes to make that will help the most, and to try to recognize and embrace the new opportunities that come my ways when other doors are closed to me.

And when others are going through similar things, I know that the best that I can do is listen to them talk, to allow them to work their ways through their own necessary changes, without telling them what they ought to do or have to do.  Their job is to cope with their lives, and while I might give a piece of advice or two, the bottom line is that their lives are different than mine, and what works for me often won't work for someone else.  But if I can teach them that the way they cope is the most important factor in whether or not they remain or become happy with life, then I can help them greatly.

Questions to consider:

From where do so many of us get the idea that life is "supposed" to work out in certain ways?  What happens if we regularly expect it to do so?

Do you know anyone who feels that life's supposed to work out in certain ways?  How are they generally getting along? 

How do you cope with the curveballs that life tosses at you?  Are you able to roll with the flow, or are they very disruptive?

For further thought:

We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us.  The old skin
has to be shed before the new one can come.

Joseph Campbell


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