March 3
The essence of true friendship
is to make allowances for
another's little lapses.

David Storey


Today's Meditation:

I can never express how grateful I am to friends who have made allowances for my lapses, great and small.  I've sometimes been amazed at the way that friends will be so forgiving when I've been expecting them to be anything but forgiving. 

But what I've learned is that this is a quality of true friends.  This is just something that friends do.  And one of the reasons that it's important to me to know what friends do is so that I can be a friend to others, because that's not something that ever was taught to me when I was young.  If I know how friends are supposed to treat each other for the friendship to be strong and true, then I can give to my friendships what I need to give to it.

It's great to do fun things with friends.  It's great to share good times and to enjoy each other's company.  But if I don't want to be just a fair-weather friend, then I really do need to make sure that I'm fair, and that I don't refuse to allow my friends to make their mistakes, to have their lapses, without facing judgment and condemnation from me.  If I see a friend do something wrong, I can tell them that without judgment, and without rejecting their friendship in the future.

Huge lapses that hurt other people may be a different story, obviously, but the minor lapses are something that we all make.

Friendship sometimes takes effort, and one of the things that we can put a lot of effort into is allowing them to make their mistakes without worrying about ruining the friendship.  If I want to be a real friend, I have to let my friends be the people they are, little lapses and all.

Questions to consider:

Why is it sometimes difficult to let our friends' little lapses go?

What kinds of little lapses have you committed yourself that your friends have let go?

How many friendships aren't necessarily "true" friendships because one or the other won't let the little lapses go?

For further thought:

A friend is a person who likes you for what you are,
in spite of all your faults, all your shortcomings.

Arthur Armand Montapert


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