I used to spend a lot of time feeling lonely, feeling like
I needed someone else around to give me the validation
that would make me feel better about myself and my
life. It wasn't until I finally realized just how
damaging that perspective was to me--my loneliness was a
result of my lack of self-image, and not a result of me
being alone. When I finally became comfortable being
alone, not feeling a need for someone else to be there,
the loneliness departed.
It's not always easy to feel satisfied with ourselves,
especially if we set very high standards for
ourselves. It's not easy to feel that we aren't
lacking anything if we believe that things outside of
ourselves are necessary for our lives to be
complete. And loneliness can be devastating--in our
attempts to avoid it, we may seek out the company of
people who are very bad for us, and continue to see them
even if we know that they're bad for us.
We all have times when we feel frustrated and disappointed
with ourselves, but we need to be sure that we don't let
those frustrations lead to an overall
dissatisfaction. If we do, we face the possibility
of bringing other feelings such as loneliness and
depression into our lives, and we really don't need such
feelings around, do we?
We can be satisfied with ourselves even when we're
alone. And loneliness isn't necessarily a natural
result of being alone--our time alone can be some of the
most valuable and interesting times of our lives if we
focus on the possibilities that are present in each moment
instead of what isn't there.