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Today's
quotation:
When we
love another, we never ever seek to limit or restrict
them in any way
whatsoever. Love says, "My will for you is
your will for
you." Love says, "I
choose for you what you choose
for you." When I say,
"I choose for you what
I choose for you,"
then I'm not loving you. I'm
loving me through you, because
I'm
getting what I want, rather than seeing you get what you want.
Neale Donald Walsch
Little
Book of Life
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Today's
Meditation:
From
whom do we learn about love? I know that in my life,
the people with whom I grew up were very poor teachers and
examples of love. That's not to criticize them, but to
make an observation--nobody had ever taught them what love
meant, so they were unable to put real love into
practice. They constantly had unrealistic expectations
of each other, and they took it very personally when those
expectations weren't meant, even though a casual observer
would have told them right off that the expectations were
quite unrealistic.
I
feel very fortunate to have met some very good teachers
about love later in life, people who showed me that we
aren't here on this planet to fulfill other people's
expectations, and that we shouldn't expect other people to
fulfill ours just because we have them. In my
relationships I'm willing to let go of expectations and not
get upset if people do things that I probably would have
preferred they didn't--I've been taught to accept them for
what they are, and to accept what they do as what they
do. I don't always have to like it or support it, but
I do have to accept it.
The
strongest way that I can show love to others--to my wife, to
my children, to my friends, to my students--is to let them
be themselves and to not expect them to fulfill my
expectations. I've learned over the years that this
approach is not just beneficial to them, for they don't have
me pressuring them about their behaviors, but it's also very
beneficial to me because people feel more relaxed around me,
and they enjoy my company more, so I get to see more of
them.
If I love you, I'll let you be you, and not try to make you
into what I think you should be. And we're all better
off when I show you this real love, rather than some of the
versions of love that we've been taught are accurate, but
that really are more about making ourselves feel better
rather than showing true love to the people we truly love.
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