am I? Isn't that one of the fundamental questions of
our existence in this life, on this planet? It's a
question that we all would like to have answered, yet one
that we avoid addressing sometimes at all costs, as if we
were too afraid to find out that we may not be what we
want ourselves to be. It's much easier to be what
others want us to be, for then we have criteria upon which
to judge ourselves--this person says I'm fine the way I
am, so I must be fine. A lack of criteria is a very
frightening thing for us.
we have an inborn desire to be authentic, to be the people
we were born to be. We see this desire especially
when we're being someone else--when we're pretending to
like something because someone else likes it, when we're
pretending to believe something that others believe so
that we'll fit in, when we're acting in ways that feel
awkward and uncomfortable because we think that others
expect us to act that way--and we certainly want to meet
those expectations, don't we?
okay to be yourself, and you don't owe anyone any
explanations about how you act or what you believe.
If someone's trying to pressure you to be someone else,
then it's time to question your relationship with that
person, not necessarily to question the way that you
are. Remember that they may be right in questioning
you or your actions or your beliefs, because those aspects
of yourself may be hurting you, but your response to them
should be thoughtful and introspective, not a simple
rejection or a simple acceptance just to appease them.
are good enough, just as you are. You shouldn't
think that you need to be yourself just to make someone
else like or accept you--we're often much better off when
certain people don't accept us, to be honest. Let
them go, and move on with your life, continuing to be true
to who you are--or spend some time in quiet reflection
making sure that you know who that person is--what do you
consider good and acceptable, and what do you consider bad
and unacceptable? What do you love, what do you
accept, what do you desire to do and to experience?
Ask yourself the questions whose answers will help you to
see just who your authentic self is. And love that
person, completely and unconditionally.