26 September 2017      

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As Ye Sow
Earl Nightingale

It's Not That Big of a Deal
Elizabeth Lombardo

Release
tom walsh

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Treat the other person's faith gently; it is all he or she has to believe with.  Others' minds were created for their own thoughts, not yours or mine.

Henry S. Haskins

Enthusiasm is one of life's greatest qualities, but it must be practiced to become a dominant factor in one's life.  There is real magic in enthusiasm.  It spells the difference between mediocrity and accomplishment.

Norman Vincent Peale

Nothing is a waste of time
if you use the experience wisely.

Rodin

  
As Ye Sow
Earl Nightingale

The human mind is much like a farmerís land.  The land gives the farmer a choice.  He may plant in that land whatever he chooses.  The land doesnít care what is planted.  Itís up to the farmer to make the decision.  The mind, like the land, will return what you plant, but it doesnít care what you plant.  If the farmer plants too seeds and one a seed of corn, the other nightshade, a deadly poison, waters and takes care of the land, what will happen?

Remember, the land doesnít care.  It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn.  So up come the two plants and one corn, one poison as itís written in the Bible, ďAs ye sow, so shall ye reap.Ē

The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way.  It doesnít care what we plant. . . success. . . or failure.  A concrete, worthwhile goal. . . or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety, and so on.  But what we plant it must return to us.

The problem is that our mind comes as standard equipment at birth.  Itís free.  And things that are given to us for nothing, we place little value on.  Things that we pay money for, we value.

The paradox is that exactly the reverse is true.  Everything thatís really worthwhile in life came to us free and our minds, our souls, our bodies, our hopes, our dreams, our ambitions, our intelligence, our love of family and children and friends and country.  All these priceless possessions are free.

But the things that cost us money are actually very cheap and can be replaced at any time.  A good man can be completely wiped out and make another fortune. He can do that several times.  Even if our home burns down, we can rebuild it. But the things we got for nothing, we can never replace.

Our mind can do any kind of job we assign to it, but generally speaking, we use it for little jobs instead of big ones.  So decide now.  What is it you want?  Plant your goal in your mind. Itís the most important decision youíll ever make in your entire life.

Do you want to excel at your particular job?  Do you want to go places in your company. . . in your community?  Do you want to get rich?  All you have got to do is plant that seed in your mind, care for it, work steadily toward your goal, and it will become a reality.

It not only will, thereís no way that it cannot.  You see, thatís a law and like the laws of Sir Isaac Newton, the laws of gravity.  If you get on top of a building and jump off, youíll always go down and youíll never go up.

And itís the same with all the other laws of nature.  They always work.  Theyíre inflexible. Think about your goal in a relaxed, positive way.  Picture yourself in your mindís eye as having already achieved this goal.  See yourself doing the things you will be doing when you have reached your goal.

Every one of us is the sum total of our own thoughts.  We are where we are because thatís exactly where we really want or feel we deserve to be and whether weíll admit that or not.  Each of us must live off the fruit of our thoughts in the future, because what you think today and tomorrow and next month and next year and will mold your life and determine your future.  Youíre guided by your mind.

I remember one time I was driving through eastern Arizona and I saw one of those giant earthmoving machines roaring along the road with what looked like 30 tons of dirt in it and a tremendous, incredible machine and and there was a little man perched way up on top with the wheel in his hands, guiding it.  As I drove along I was struck by the similarity of that machine to the human mind. Just suppose youíre sitting at the controls of such a vast source of energy.  Are you going to sit back and fold your arms and let it run itself into a ditch?  Or are you going to keep both hands firmly on the wheel and control and direct this power to a specific, worthwhile purpose? Itís up to you.  Youíre in the driverís seat.  You see, the very law that gives us success is a double-edged sword.  We must control our thinking.  The same rule that can lead people to lives of success, wealth, happiness, and all the things they ever dreamed of and that very same law can lead them into the gutter.  Itís all in how they use it. . . for good or for bad.  That is The Strangest Secret!

Do what the experts since the dawn of recorded history have told us to do:  pay the price, by becoming the person you want to become.  Itís not nearly as difficult as living unsuccessfully.

The moment you decide on a goal to work toward, youíre immediately a successful person and you are then in that rare group of people who know where theyíre going.  Out of every hundred people, you belong to the top five.  Donít concern yourself too much with how you are going to achieve your goal and leave that completely to a power greater than yourself.  All you have to do is know where youíre going.  The answers will come to you of their own accord, and at the right time.

Start today.  You have nothing to lose and but you have your whole life to win.  
   

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It's Not That Big of a Deal (an excerpt)
Elizabeth Lombardo

In addition to personalizing "failure" and mind reading, perfectionists often minimize their achievements.  They rarely give themselves credit--or at least not for too long.  So, rather than rating themselves on the "I'm perfect versus I'm a failure" scale, they rate themselves on the "I'm okay versus I'm a failure" scale.  And their criteria for "okay" are their high standards.  But even when they do achieve their high standards, perfectionists rarely say, "Wow, I did that perfectly."  Instead they think, "It was okay.  Now I need to focus on my next goal," with minimal time spent reflecting on what already has been achieved.

Remember Annie, who wanted to lose weight?  About two months into our working together, she informed me she'd dropped fifteen pounds.

"Wow," I said.  "That's really terrific."

"Yeah," she replied.  "But I still have at least twenty-five more to go.  I'm not even halfway there. . ."

Can you relate?  Do any of the items below sound familiar to you?

*  Are there times when, after an achievement, you're happy temporarily, but then you turn your focus on the next goal, discounting your success?

*   When someone congratulates you on a success, do you try to change the subject?

*   When someone says, "Wow, great job!" do you answer, "Yeah, but. . ."?  As in, "Yeah, but I still have so much more to do"?  Or, "Yeah, but it wasn't that hard; anyone could have done it"?

*   Are you uncomfortable when others celebrate your successes?

Why do perfectionists do this?  There are two main reasons.  First, we do not want to celebrate something until it's complete--perfectly done.  Extreme thinking makes it feel inappropriate to applaud something that's unfinished.  Second, we don't like to "brag."  Extreme-thinking perfectionists often think, "If people make a big deal over what I've done, then I'll be seen as a show-off.  I don't want people to think I'm still boasting."

What if you changed your extreme thinking to stop minimizing your achievements?  Is it possible to be proud of what you have done, even if there is still more you'd like to do?

Say a friend wanted to become a medical doctor.  When she received her bachelor's degree, would you say, "Yeah, but you still have to go to medical school"?

No way.  You would celebrate with her and encourage her to keep up the same incredible work she had been doing.

So, then, what if you did the same for yourself?  And what would it be like if you could actually appreciate and feel proud of yourself for what you've done--without being boastful?  I bet it would feel pretty good!

  
  

Perfectionists exist in every walk of life. While outwardly they appear to be very accomplished, they are often unhappy and unfulfilled. Perfectionists strive toward unattainable goals, and their behaviors can wreak havoc on both their physical health and their psychological well-being. Timely and transformative, Better than Perfect by Dr. Elizabeth Lombardo offers step-by-step instructions for perfectionists to find balance and freedom.  Also included are practical exercises and suggestions for behavioral changes, including seven ways to overcome perfectionism that range from choosing passion over perfection to remembering youíre more than what you do.

   

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Practice giving things away, not just things you don't care about, but things
you do like.  Remember, it is not the size of a gift, it is its quality and the
amount of mental attachment you overcome that count.  So don't bankrupt
yourself on a momentary positive impulse, only to regret it later.  Give thought
to giving.  Give small things, carefully, and observe the mental processes
going along with the act of releasing the little thing you liked.

Robert A.F. Thurman

   

 

Release

I've always had a difficult time understanding the concept of release.  After all, most of my role models in life while I was growing up seemed to dedicate themselves to holding on to things--holding on to anger and resentment and memories of things that other people did "to" them.  Now that I'm older I can see in hindsight just how unhappy these people were, but when I was younger their behavior seemed quite normal to me.

The concept of releasing can be one of the most important ideas that you'll ever explore.  If you want to call it "letting go," you'll still have the main idea in place.  Release is the opposite of allowing something to control you by its simple presence in your life.  Did someone offend you yesterday?  Are you still feeling angry about it, and snapping at other people because of your anger?  Well, then, that offensive remark or action from yesterday is controlling your behavior, and you're allowing it to do so.  Did someone leave your town and you miss them so much that your behavior is affected negatively because you're missing them?  In this case, too, that person's absence is controlling your behavior, and you're allowing it to do so.

You're allowing these things to control you because you're not willing to release them.  It's somehow safer--though very unpleasant--to hold on to them.  Some people might even say that you need them.

It's important, though, that you consider releasing them from your life, from your mind, and from your spirit.  If you're able to do so, then you give yourself a higher degree of freedom in your life--freedom to face each present moment for exactly what it is, rather than seeing it through the filters of your anger or resentment.

A really good example of this was my desire for a relationship.  This was something that I simply wasn't able to release from my life, and it affected me for years in negative ways every time I went out on a date or tried to get to know a woman.  The desire was so strong that I spent a lot of time and energy trying to fulfill that desire, and the results usually weren't very positive.  The result of trying to make things happen usually was stress and tension--and no relationship.

Finally, though, I realized just how much pressure I was putting on other people because of my efforts to fulfill my desires.  I finally released that desire, and I told myself that I would just let life take its course without trying to control it in my favor.  After I did that, I suddenly found myself acting much more relaxed in the presence of women, much more willing to just let things happen.  Within six months, I met the woman I would eventually marry.  I know that I was able to develop a relationship with her only because I never tried to force a relationship to happen between us.

We've all heard the saying that tells us if we love something, we should set it free.  If it comes back to us, it was meant to be with us; otherwise, it was meant to be on its own.  I would say that we should set everything free--things that we love, things that we dislike, even things that we hate.  If we can release the judgment of loving or hating, if we can allow things simply to be as they are without trying to control them or without letting them control us, then we're releasing things that can be detrimental to us.

One of the greatest beauties of releasing things is the fact that when we do so, we create more room inside of ourselves for other things, more positive things (as long as we choose to fill those spaces with positive things).  In my case, I filled the times that I had been obsessing about a relationship with things like climbing mountains and going for long walks.  The important thing about this concept is that until we release negative things, there won't be room for other, more positive things.

And the more you fill your life with the positive, the less room there is inside of your spirit for the negative.

   

   
More on letting go.

   
   

  

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If some great Power would agree to make me think always what is true and do what is right on condition of being turned into a sort of clock, I would instantly close with the bargain.  The only freedom I care about is the freedom to do right; the freedom to do wrong I am ready to part with.

Thomas Henry Huxley

  
Two friends were walking through the desert.  During some point of the journey they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:  "Today my best friend slapped me in the face."

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.  The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:  "Today my best friend saved my life."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone.  Why?"

The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away.  But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
   

  

I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize.  The first
is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which
keeps me from putting myself before others.  Be gentle and you
can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting
yourself before others and you can become
a leader among people.

Lao Tzu

    

  

   

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