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Today's
Meditation:
I
like to talk. Often, I feel obligated to talk.
After all, I'm a teacher by profession, so I find that
people expect me to have the answers, that they expect me to
be able to explain concepts and ideas to them in a way that
they'll understand.
But
much of my talk falls into the category of sharing like
experiences, and it's usually pretty unnecessary. If
someone is telling me about his or her vacation and they
mention taking a certain hike, my tendency is to come back
with something like "I went on a hike just like
that," followed by a detailed description of my
hike. That's not listening, though--it's simply
waiting for cues to give my own input.
A
couple of weeks ago I had a great talk with a dear
friend. She had just gotten back from a vacation, and
she had tons to tell me. I told myself at the
beginning of the conversation that I was going to practice
listening, and do very little talking. Over the next
hour I learned much more about my friend, her experiences,
her perspective on life, her children, and so much more that
I was kind of amazed. I didn't sit there passively
like a sounding board--I asked questions and I responded to
her words. But I didn't put in my two cents' worth
just because it popped into my head. And for me, it
was a great conversation, as it was for her, too.
There
are whole books written on listening and its power.
It's one of those aspects of ourselves that helps us to
learn and grow if we practice it, but one that we usually
neglect. Others won't think less of us if we speak
less, but they certainly will appreciate being with someone
who's willing to listen closely to what they have to
say. Some of the most drastic problems in the world
are brought about by people feeling as if there's no one
there to listen to them; by listening we can grow wiser and
help others at the same time, which sounds like a pretty
fair trade to me.
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