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Today's
Meditation:
There
are certain principles in life that are pretty consistent,
and this is one of them. How we act usually
determines how we are treated, and what we believe usually
determines how we act. In the case that Leonard
mentions, if you believe that people who love you will
leave you, then either you're going to treat them badly or
with distance or you're going to try to hold on to them
too hard, and either way you're engaging in behavior that
tends to make people want to put distance between
themselves and you.
Most of us don't pay much attention to our unconscious
beliefs because we never go deep enough into ourselves to
figure out what they may be. Do you believe that
you're not meant to be wealthy? That you're not
meant to be happy? That you're not meant to have a
strong, healthy relationship? That you don't deserve
to be treated well? I can't tell you how many people
I've met who have had chances at great relationships with
loving, caring people, but who have rejected those people
in favor of others who treat them so poorly that it's
completely unbelievable that they actually chose
this other person.
In my case, one of my strongest battles is with the belief
that I will always struggle financially. It's a
lesson that my parents instilled in me over and over
again, and one that I internalized deeply. It's a
belief that I make true through my actions, and those
actions come about because of the unconscious nature of my
belief. It's silly, but it's the way things are, and
while I constantly work to change my situation, I also
constantly work to change the beliefs that continue to
make the situation reality.
In which areas of your life do you struggle? Have
you dug deeply and been honest with yourself about your
true beliefs about those areas? Are your problems in
a relationship related more to the other person's actions,
or to your beliefs about how the other person should
act? We all go through struggles in life, and many
of them we cause ourselves, making them completely
unnecessary, but no less true. When we uncover those
beliefs and work to change them, we can start to move
ahead more quickly, for we will start to see our lives
change, and then adopt a new belief to replace the old,
silly one.
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