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Today's
Meditation:
Results. Most of us live in results-oriented
cultures, which means that we're judged very often on what
comes out of our work, and not necessarily on the work
itself. Because of this, many of us have become
fixated on results-- results of our work, results of our
interactions with others, results of our advice, you name
it. We want things to turn out the way that we
intended them to turn out, with no room for ambiguity or
contradiction.
Have you ever seen anyone give someone else money as a
gift, and then get upset when that money was used for
something they didn't see as valuable, or more
specifically, not on what the giver thought it should be
spent on? Have you ever watched someone get bent out
of shape because the recipient of his or her kindness
didn't thank them enough, or didn't show their
appreciation enough? Have you ever felt extremely
frustrated because your garden or your painting or your
garage wasn't turning out how you envisioned it would turn
out?
As a teacher, one of the most important things that I've
learned in my life is to let go of results. While I
see my students improve in my classes, I know that the
vast majority of what they learn from me won't show up
until later, after they've been able to process the
information and the processes, after they've had a lot
more practice with the principles and concepts of
writing. I've learned to do what I do and then walk
away from it without being concerned at all with how
things turn out, except to make sure that my help won't be
needed in some other way. If I help someone out, I
don't expect thanks at all-- and if I get them, I see them
as a nice bonus.
If you give me ten dollars, don't tell me how I should
spend it. Because if you do, and I spend it in
another way, then both of us will be stressed out because
I haven't met your expectations. And that would be a
shame.
Plant some trees that you'll never see grow larger.
Perform kind acts in ways that other people never will know who did
them. Give your help, but don't expect thanks.
Then you'll start knowing the true joy of giving-- the joy
that isn't tied to results.
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