April 13     

Today's quotation:

If sexuality is one dimension of our ability to live passionately in the world, then in cutting off our sexual feelings we diminish our overall power to know and value deeply.

Judith Plaskow
Standing Again at Sinai

Today's Meditation:

It's amazing sometimes to see just how much human beings encourage each other to repress their sexuality, or even to deny it completely.  We've developed social attitudes towards sexuality that not only don't make much sense, but can cause quite a bit of harm to many people.  From a strictly social perspective, some of our attitudes make sense-- if anyone had sex at any time with anyone else, we'd see a great rise in the incidents of STD's, for example.  But for the most part, we attempt to repress people's sexuality because of our own repressed sexuality, and that's quite a shame.

When I was very, very young, my sister once told me that my mom and dad had sex.  I told her that was impossible, because they would never do something that bad.  "That bad."  I don't know exactly where that perspective came from, but I do know that it wasn't exactly a healthy perspective on sex and sexuality.  While my guess is that most people don't see sex as something so negative in their very early years, the fact that some do is a reflection of the ways that our society has made sex a taboo topic for the most part.  It's not something that most of us discuss with friends or family.

But when we come to terms with our own sexuality-- our desires, our likes and dislikes, our preferences-- we can start to make it a very positive part of our lives.  This means also coming to terms with other people's sexuality, because when we're with a partner, the other person's likes and desires and preferences are also extremely important.  The idea is to become comfortable with our sexuality so that the experience of sex becomes a very positive aspect of our lives rather than a source of stress.

There are no easy answers, of course.  Millions of people spend billions of dollars on therapy for issues related to sexuality and its repression or suppression.  And we won't even start on what churches have done to us historically with their teachings about sex.  It's important that we come to terms with our sexuality and start to see it as a positive part of our lives if we're to live full, well-rounded lives and develop and maintain healthy relationships with those who are our sexual partners.

Questions to consider:

Why do so few of us discuss sexuality as a normal part of our lives?

Why do we tend to have different perspectives on the ways that men and women express their sexuality?

How might we better be able to accept and appreciate our own sexuality?

For further thought:

Sex is. . . perfectly natural.  Itís something thatís pleasurable.  Itís enjoyable and it enhances a relationship.  So why donít we learn as much as we can about it and become comfortable with ourselves as sexual human beings because we are all sexual?

Sue Johanson

more on sexuality



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