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Today's
Meditation:
I don't
understand why so many of us want to pretend that we're
not vulnerable. Somehow we have the idea that if we
show vulnerability, we somehow demonstrate that we're less
capable, less strong, less reliable than other
people. But the fact is that we're all vulnerable to
certain degrees-- physically, emotionally, spiritually--
almost any way you can think of. And
that vulnerability sometimes translates into failures and
mistakes, but that really is okay the vast majority of the
time. When we acknowledge our vulnerability and
accept it, we can work with it and allow things into our
lives that we would normally leave out if our
vulnerability had its way.
Sometimes
we make the mistake of considering "weakness" to
be a synonym for the word "vulnerability."
While there often may be some overlap, though, the two
words do not mean the same thing. When we're
vulnerable, we're human-- none of us were born
invulnerable. When I allow a weakness to get the
best of me, though, that's a choice I make, because
weaknesses can be dealt with and strengthened. A
weakness is not being able to lift fifty pounds or
allowing someone to convince me to do something I know is
wrong. A vulnerability is the way that another
person can hurt me with words or actions, and there's
nothing that I can do to avoid that hurt.
Many
people like to think that they're developing
invulnerability when in fact they're simply refusing to
take risks. If I refuse to enter into a relationship
because I feel I may get hurt, I'm not showing strength--
I'm merely allowing my vulnerability to get the
best of me, and not trusting my strengths to get me
through the difficulties that my vulnerability will
allow. Many people become defensive as soon as they
feel vulnerable, instead of acknowledging that
vulnerability-- they attack the person who makes them feel
vulnerable instead of facing the way they feel head-on.
Neither approach leads to growth or learning.
We
are vulnerable because we are human. The sooner we
admit this fact and deal with our vulnerability for what
it is, the sooner we can get on with making ourselves the
best versions of ourselves that we can be.
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