knew someone once who was really down on himself all the
time. He constantly criticized himself and his
actions, and I don't remember ever hearing him say
something good about himself. He always used to
wonder why people didn't want to be around him, though to
me it was pretty clear--he treated other people the same
ways he treated himself. He criticized them and cut
them down, had great expectations of them and became very
disappointed with them if they didn't meet his
expectations. His kids didn't like to share anything
with him, and they avoided him all they could (which
wasn't easy since they all lived in the same house).
lived in double misery--misery because he always hurt
himself through his attitude towards himself, and misery
because other people avoided him because they knew how he
would act towards them. And the latter fact made the
former fact even worse--he treated himself worse because
of the way that others avoided him.
man was not gentle with himself. He couldn't love or
forgive himself, or at least he chose not to do
either. And the way he felt about himself was
projected on other people in the way he expected others to
treat him--and not surprisingly almost everyone lived down
to his low expectations.
often is a chosen condition--it's a result of decisions
that we make. It's the effect of certain
causes. How others treat us is usually a result of
how we treat them, and how we treat them usually is a
reflection of how we treat ourselves. If we want
others to treat us well, then we must treat ourselves
well, first. After all, we deserve good
treatment--and we need it if we're going to make a
difference in this world of ours.