It's very easy to mourn that which we've lost, but the
best strategy to avoid this problem is not to lose it in
the first place, or to make sure that we set other plans
in motion to compensate for that which we're losing.
We can get up and stoke the fire and add more fuel before
it goes out. We can be fully aware of the way things
are playing out and do our best to compensate for
them. If the fire's going out and we're running out
of wood, then it's time to get more wood instead of
continuing to sit by the fire, isn't it?
We will lose things--relationships, jobs, money, material
goods, peace of mind, prized possessions. And that's
okay. It's not always pleasant, but that's simply
how life works. It's very important to keep in mind
that virtually nothing is forever, not even the mountains
that seem like they'll never change. If we know that
things will pass, then we can deal with the loss much
easier when they do. My wife and I have lost some
very significant things in the last couple of years due to
unavoidable financial issues, and while we miss the house
we had bought and the other things, we've simply moved on
because there was absolutely nothing we could have done
about the situation.
What has happened hasn't been our fault, so we've spent no
time blaming ourselves. We've found other places to
live, and we've found other things to replace those things
that are gone. All that really could have been
affected by the losses has been our attitudes, and we
weren't about to lose time crying over spilt milk; we
simply wiped it up and poured ourselves a new glass.
As soon as we've turned our attention to doing what we
needed to do to move on, we simply never had time to
bewail our loss--nor did we have the inclination to do so,
because we were busy and our minds were busy being
productive with our new plans.
That which is past is past, and that which is
irretrievable cannot be retrieved. The way we deal
with such things is completely up to us. And to
spend our time focused on the things that we cannot get
back is simply a waste of the little time that we have to
live our lives--and it's time much better spent devising
strategies for recovery and for moving on, and actually
working towards those goals.