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Today's
Meditation:
"What's
in it for me?" is a question that can mess up our
judgment something awful. "How will people see
me?" "What will people think of
me?" These are questions that rarely have to do
with the actual decision at hand-- most of us have a pretty
strong sense of right and wrong, but sometimes we allow
what we think others will think of us to cloud our
judgment and lead us to decisions that aren't exactly
right, and that's a shame.
Besides, I know from experience that what other people
think of me is based on incomplete information-- I've been
called irresponsible for missing a meeting when I was
dreadfully sick, for example. So just what is my
good reputation worth when it's based on appearances
rather than deeper truths?
When
we worry about our reputations rather than what we know to
be right or wrong, we set ourselves up for some
potentially disastrous results. Do I worry about
people seeing me as weak if I'm asked to help someone in
need? Do I worry about others thinking that I'm dumb
if I ask for help when I really need the help? Do I
worry about someone thinking I'm bad at something if I let
someone else take the credit for something that I helped
on?
Somehow,
many of us are brought up to believe that what other
people think of us is more important than what we think--
or actually know-- about ourselves. We let
ourselves make decisions that we know to be harmful to
others just so that we don't lose face with others.
If we want to be true to ourselves and therefore at peace
with ourselves, then we need to be making what we know to
be the right decisions, not those that will make us look
good to others.
My
reputation is much less important to me than my
integrity. My reputation may make others treat me in
ways that I see as better, but if I violate my integrity,
then all the treatment in the world isn't going to help me
to be at peace with the things that I've done to gain that
reputation. Our character and integrity should come
first always, and our reputations will follow suit.
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