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Today's
Meditation:
"Criticism"
is one of those words that have two sides to them, like
"compromise." It's a word that covers two
separate concepts, one generally positive and one
generally negative, and it's in our best interests to
understand fully the differences between the two and not
use them interchangeably. I can be critical in a
positive way by looking for ways to improve something and
help others, or I can be negative and harm others by
criticizing them personally instead of criticizing what
they've done.
The
question I always ask myself is simple: "Is my
criticism constructive or destructive?"
Constructive criticism, as we all know, helps other people
to make improvements on something that they've done or are
doing. As a teacher, giving constructive criticism
is one of my major responsibilities, though I know too
many teachers who seem to feel that their destructive
criticism is somehow helpful to the students that they're
supposed to be teaching. Destructive criticism,
though, shuts down creativity, shuts down desire to
improve, prevents people from feeling anything like pride
or satisfaction.
When
I criticize in a harmful or destructive way, I'm telling
the world that I'm trying to make myself feel better by
putting someone else down. While I may think that
I'm saying, "Look, world, at how intelligent and
clever I am," what I'm actually saying is, "Hey,
look-- I can be a real jerk." And while I'm
doing that, I'm hurting someone else, too. It truly is a
lose-lose strategy.
When
I criticize constructively, though, I'm not making any
personal attacks and I'm offering heartfelt suggestions
for improvement. There is no self-aggrandizement
involved, no attempt to put anyone else down. My
only goal is to help someone else to improve, either
themselves, their situations in life, or the work that
they're doing. Personally, I hope that I can always
be critical in constructive ways, for then I'm
contributing to the positive side of life, and not the
negative.
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