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Today's
Meditation:
I grew up thinking that things were never enough,
especially things that I did. I learned early that
whatever I did was to be criticized, and I should have
done more, or done better, or done less. But now I'm
able to say to someone who says "That's not
enough" that yes, it is enough-- that's all they're
getting. I've weighed the options, I've looked at
the possibilities, and I made a conscious decision that
this is exactly what I want to contribute or achieve, and
it's enough.
This is hard to do in some jobs. One of the things
that I hated more than anything else while teaching in
public schools was the number of people who constantly
said that we teachers weren't doing enough-- not enough for
their kids, not enough for the school, not enough for the
state. We weren't working hard enough or smart
enough. The kids weren't getting enough. But
it wasn't true-- we were giving everything that we had, and
then some, but people just wanted more. It was
infuriating.
Now that I've learned to respect myself more, I know when
I've done well-- I'm a pretty good judge of my
accomplishments, even though for the most part, I'm a bit
over-critical of myself. These days, if someone
finds a legitimate problem with my work, I do my best to
fix that problem. But all the people who complain
just for the sake of complaining can go complain to the
wall for all I care. I'm not going to let them make
me feel bad when I've given much already.
Having healthy self-respect isn't not caring what other
people think. It's taking other people's complaints
and criticisms with a grain or five of salt, and not
allowing them to make us feel bad about ourselves. I
would much rather someone who's being unjustly critical
leave a situation feeling bad about it than to feel bad
myself, especially when I know that I've done exactly what
I set out to do, and what I need to do.
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