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Today's
Meditation:
"Whining
and complaining about others." Sadly, I've done
my share of that, mostly because that was the kind of
thing that was modeled to me constantly when I was growing
up. I simply learned that that was somehow an
effective way of going through life, even though the truth
of the matter is that it isn't at all. As Og says,
though, "No more." I'm not going to worry
about what others are doing-- I'm going to focus on what
I'm doing and try to do the best I possibly can in all
situations so that I can benefit others as much as
possible.
It's
very easy to find fault in others, especially for those of
us whose jobs demand that we do so. When I teach
writing, for example, one of my major tasks is to point
out flaws in the writing so that the students can correct
them. I also point out strengths, but I do need to
point out flaws-- it's just the nature of the job.
The danger is that it can become second nature, and that I
can start pointing out flaws even when I'm not teaching,
in the belief that in doing so, I can help others to fix
their flaws and somehow lead happier lives when they do
so.
But I
don't want to be always looking for things that are going
wrong. I don't want to be focused on complaining about
others and trying to
"fix" them. If I can drop my
preconceived notions of what others should be doing or how
they should be acting, then I can focus on the way things are
rather than the way things should be. And when I do
that, I can accept things for what they are and not get
into the complaining mode. I can just let things be
as they are and enjoy them-- or deal with them-- for what
they are. And that's a very liberating way to go
through life because it frees me up to focus on the
positive rather than looking for things to complain about.
Complaining
is my choice, and I choose not to do it. I can still
point out problems-- as long as I'm being objective, that
isn't necessarily complaining-- but I don't want to be the
person who constantly finds fault and tries to make others
sympathize with me through my complaining. I want to
be the person who looks at the positive and tries to
accentuate it, rather than the person who finds something
to complain about in everything. Yes, it's important
to point out problems, but let's do so constructively
rather than destructively.
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