Today's
Meditation:
I've learned
most of what I know through example. I don't get
drunk because of a constant example in my childhood of
just how awful an experience that can be. I try to
encourage and help people because of a wonderful example
of someone who did that regularly. I try to learn
just as much from the bad examples as I do from the good
ones because if I don't, I'm losing some wonderful
opportunities to learn more about which things or
behaviors make people happy, and which ones contribute to
unhappiness or frustration.
There
are plenty of examples of both kinds for us, and we have
to be willing and able to pay attention not just to the
behaviors of others but also to whether or not the people
whose examples we see are happy or not, whether they're
living their lives fully or whether they spend time being
miserable and frustrated. It's often hard to make
that judgment, of course, but if we really are to learn
from others, it's important that we know what we're
learning.
Another
important question here, of course, is what kind of
example we are. Would Confucius say that we're
examples of good qualities, or of bad? Do other
people see us and think that this must be how happy people
live, or do they think that we're examples of how unhappy
people live?
Perhaps
if we need a way to reframe our ideas about living, it may
help us to think, "I want to be an example that other
people can follow if they want to be happy." If
a child sees me, will that kid think, "If I grow up
to be like him, I'll be happy"? Or does that
child think, "If I grow up to be like that guy, I'm
going to be miserable"? I know what I'd like
that child to think.
|