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Humor--Just for Fun!!!

  
Humor is a huge part of living a full life, and there's nothing like a good laugh every now and then.
We present these pages with no plan in mind--no structure or organization,
no categorization--just fun stuff that we think you'll like.
   

  

page 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10

 
Flying into St. Louis, the pilot radioed the control tower for a time check. The tower replied, asking what airline.

"What difference does it make who we are?" the pilot asked.

"Well, if you're United, we would tell you it's 1500 hours. If you are Continental, the time is 3 p.m. If you are Braniff, then the big hand is one the 12 and the little hand is on the 3. But if you're Ozark, it's Tuesday."
   

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Two young boys come bursting in the house and shout to their
mother that the youngest boy has fallen into the pool.

"We tried to give him artificial respiration," one boy panted,
"but he kept getting up and running away!"

 

22 SIGNS THAT YOU'VE HAD TOO MUCH OF THE 90s
(dated, but still funny)

1. You just tried to enter your password on the microwave.
2. You now think of three espressos as "getting wasted."
3. You haven't played solitaire with a real deck of cards in years.
4. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
5. You call your son's beeper to let him know it's time to eat. He e-mails
you back from his bedroom, "What's for dinner?"
6. Your daughter sells Girl Scout Cookies via her web site.
7. You chat several times a day with a stranger from South Africa, but
you haven't spoken with your next door neighbor yet this year.
8. You didn't give your valentine a card this year, but you posted one
for your e-mail buddies via a web page.
9. Your daughter just bought a CD of all the records your college
roommate used to play.
10. You check the ingredients on a can of chicken noodle soup to see if
it contains echinacea.
11. You check your blow-dryer to see if it's Y2K compliant.
12. Your grandmother clogs up your e-mail inbox, asking you to send her a
JPEG file of your newborn so she can create a screen saver.
13. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if
anyone is home.
14. Every commercial on television has a web-site address at the bottom
of the screen.
15. You buy a computer and a week later it is out of date and now sells
for half the price you paid.
16. The concept of using real money, instead of credit or debit, to make
a purchase is foreign to you.
17. Cleaning up the dining room means getting the fast food bags out of
the back seat of your car.
18. Your reason for not staying in touch with family is that they do not
have e-mail addresses.
19. You consider second-day air delivery painfully slow.
20. Your dining room table is now your flat filing cabinet.
21. Your idea of being organized is multiple-colored Post-it notes.
22. You hear most of your jokes via e-mail instead of in person.

 
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very
excited.  Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know
what happened.  "So, how did you do son?" he asked.
 "You'll never believe it!" Billy said.  "I was responsible for the winning
run!"
 "Really? How'd you do that?"
 "I dropped the ball."
 
 

A group of managers are given the assignment to measure the height of a flagpole.
So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures--the whole thing is just a mess.
An engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs.
"Isn't that just like an engineer?  We're looking for the height, and he gives us the length."

A man was taking it easy, laying on the grass and looking up at the clouds.  He was identifying shapes when he decided to talk to God.
God." he asked, "how long is a million years?"
God answered, "In my frame of reference, it's about a minute."
The man asked, "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God answered, "To me, it's a penny."
The man then asked, "God, can I have a penny?"
God answered, "In a minute."

   

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Little Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when
his neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to,
he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up,
"and I've just buried him." 
The neighbor was concerned, "That's an awfully
big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" 
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied,
"That's because he's inside your stupid cat."

 

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