anger--an obstacle to living life fully. page 2.

Anger is the wind which blows
out the lamp of the mind.

Robert Ingersoll

Transformation is my favorite game and in my experience, anger and frustration are the result of you not being authentic somewhere in your life or with someone in your life. Being fake about anything creates a block inside of you. Life can’t work for you if you don’t show up as you. Jason Mraz

Anger is an essential part of being human. People are taught to deny themselves anger, and in this, they are actually opening themselves up to hate. The more you deny yourself the freedom to be angry, the more you will hate. Let yourself be angry, and hate will disintegrate, and when hate disintegrates, forgiveness prevails! The more you deny that you are angry, in attempts to be "holy," the more inhuman you will become, and the more inhuman you become, the harder it will be to forgive. C. Joybell C.

Anger is the most futile emotion one can experience. It is totally negative and feeds on one's irrational, vindictive, and punitive nature. It accomplishes nothing but a wider rift between persons, a growing dissatisfaction with self, and empty feeling where loving understanding ought to be. Louise Doud

Angry people are insecure people. Anger becomes a face-saving device to cover up deficiencies of another sort. Don't be fooled by the domineering character of an angry person. Know that during moments of anger there dwells a poor self-image. Shantidasa

Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in
which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured.

Mark Twain

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Frequent fits of anger produce in the soul a propensity to be angry,
which often ends in a bad temper, bitterness and morosity;
then the mind becomes ulcerated, peevish, and grumbling,
and is wounded by the least occurrence.

Plutarch

Often anger is a sign of engagement with life. People who are
angry are touched deeply by the events of their lives and feel
strongly about them. As an emotion, it has its limitations and
it certainly has very bad press, but my experience with ill people
suggests there is something healthy about it. Certainly the
cancer studies by Levy, Temoshak, and Greer suggest that many
people who recover become angry first. Anger is just a demand
for change, a passionate wish for things to be different. . . .
Anger becomes a problem for people only when they
become wedded to it as a way of life.

Rachel Naomi Remen

Anger is an alarm system, signaling the presence of nothing
more than fear. It tells us we are working at cross-purposes
to our own happiness, fearing the loss of something
more than we enjoy the experience of having it.

Jesse Jennings

The angry person is never in the right even when right.

Shantidasa

Anger repressed can poison a relationship
as surely as the cruelest words.

Joyce Brothers

There is no enemy more vicious than your own anger.

Sathya Sai Baba

Anger is a form of fear and evidence
of the need of defense.

Fred Van Amburgh

Every angry thought makes it a little easier to get angry the next time, and a little more likely.

Eknath Easwaran

Anger cannot be overcome by anger. If a person shows anger to
you, and you show anger in return, the result is a disaster. In contrast,
if you control your anger and show its opposite--love, compassion,
tolerance, and patience--then not only will you remain in peace,
but the anger of others also will gradually diminish.

the Dalai Lama

Bobby and I were married in 1954 and by now we know that
anger does not mean "I don't love you" or "I want a divorce."
It means, "I am wounded and in need of love, and I feel safe
telling you about it because you are my family." Sometimes
our behavior with each other is no different
from the cry of an unattended baby.

Bernie Siegel

Beware of anger. It is the most difficult to remove
of all the hindrances. But it is the alcohol of the body,
you know, and the devil of it is that it deadens the perceptions.

Margery Allingham

Anybody can become angry--that is easy; but to be angry with
the right person, and to the right degree, and at
the right time, and for the right purpose, and in the right way--
that is not within everybody's power and is not easy.

Aristotle

Consider how much more you suffer from your anger and grief,
than from the very things for which you are angry and grieved.

Marcus Aurelius

Human nature is so constituted that if we take absolutely no notice of
anger or abuse, the person indulging in it will soon weary of it and stop.

Mohandas Gandhi

Therapists want to help us throw out what is unwanted and keep only
what is wanted. But what is left may not be very much. If we try
to throw away what we don’t want, we may throw away most of ourselves.
Instead of acting as if we can dispose of parts of ourselves, we should learn
the art of transformation. We can transform our anger, for example,
into something more wholesome, like understanding. We do not need surgery
to remove our anger. If we become angry at our anger, we will have two angers
at the same time. We only have to observe it with love and attention. If we
take care of our anger this way, without trying to run away from it, it will
transform itself. This is peacemaking. If we are peaceful in ourselves, we
can make peace with our anger. We can deal with depression, anxiety, fear,
or any unpleasant feeling in the same way.

Thich Nhat Hanh

anger

Articles and book excerpts on Anger:

The Fence      Author Unknown
The (Ig)Noble Flames of Anger      Lucy Lopez
When You See "Red"      Rhoberta Shaler

Anger is a powerful emotional energy that constantly seeks an outlet. The tension
that surrounds anger is sometimes so volatile and unendurable that catharsis appears
to be the only relief. Accusations and abuse directed at another become a means
of relieving ourselves of the pain of our own anger. We insist on being heard, on
making our point, yet in doing so we create an even deeper pain--the pain of
separation and division. . . . It takes remarkable patience and compassion to pause
before words of anger are hurled at another. At times this pause is born of the
wisdom that recognizes that the only point we make in the impulsive expression
of anger is that we may be a person to fear and avoid.

Christina Feldman

There is nothing wrong with anger. Anger is a beautiful emotion,
as valid and rich as joy or laughter. But you have been taught to
repress your anger. Your anger has been condemned. If anger
is unexpressed, it will slowly poison you. The key is to know how
to express your anger. Do not throw it out onto any one. No one
is responsible for your anger. Simply express your anger. Beat
up a cushion. Go for a run. Express your anger to a tree.
Dance your anger. Enjoy it.

Leonard Jacobson

Anger is a response that can lead to harm if we don't evaluate
what we are upset about. Ask yourself what you are afraid of,
as anger is almost always fear in disguise. If we think something
or someone threatens us, we feel fear--fear that we are inadequate,
that our lives are out of control, that things won't go our way.
Then we fight. Find out what you're upset about. We rarely are
upset for the reason we think.

Jennifer James

There is an old Zen story about a student with an anger problem. . . .
The story goes that when the student expressed concern about his own
bad temper to his master, the master said, “Show it to me.” Of course,
the student couldn't and explained that it wasn't within his control to
produce it at will, but rather it just happened. The master replied that if
it wasn't within his control, then it was not part of his true nature. From
that point on, whenever the student felt anger welling up inside of him,
he recalled the master's words and his anger began to subside.

Chris Niebauer
No Self, No Problem

Tremendous energy comes with anger. It's sometimes called the anger
energy. Do not suppress it: that would hurt you inside. Do not express
it: this would not only hurt you inside, it would cause ripples in your
surroundings. What you do is transform it. You somehow use that
tremendous energy constructively on a task that needs to be done,
or in a beneficial form of exercise.

Peace Pilgrim

I would not look upon anger as something foreign to me that I
have to fight. . . . I have to deal with my anger with care,
with love, with tenderness, with nonviolence.

Thích Nhat Hạnh
Being Peace

What if someone hurts you with a weapon? Wait. Think it over.
You probably feel angry. That's normal. But wasn't it the stick
striking your body that hurt you? Can you be angry at the stick?
Of course not. Should you be angry at the wielder of the stick?
Wouldn't it make more sense to be angry at the hatred in the mind
of the stick wielder? If you think about it, isn't the end of hatred
in the world what you want most of all? Why, then, would you
add to it by giving energy to your anger? After all, it will pass on
its own if left alone, especially if you respond to it with compassion.

Sylvia Boorstein

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When you're genuinely angry, it means one of two things: either something
that your essential self needs is absent, or something your essential self can't
tolerate is present. To make the anger go away, you have to change the
situation. That isn't possible if you don't know what's making you angry.
However, pinpointing the source of anger is often more difficult than identifying
the cause of fear and grief. That's because anger is so volatile, so fraught with
danger. We may be loath to turn it on a person we love, or a job we desperately
need, because we equate anger with absolute destruction of the relationship. The
truth, of course, is that we ruin our relationships (to things or people) when we
harbor anger without acting on it. No matter how frightening or irrational your
anger may seem, acknowledging that you are angry is the first step toward a
peaceful and cooperative connection with the world around you.

Martha Beck
Finding Your Own North Star

In living our day-to-day life, we may have been involved in situations
where tempers flared out of control. Although anger may be considered
a natural, self-protective reaction in moments of great frustration, "meeting
fire with fire" often seems to compound the problem. Usually a moderate
approach is best, and water, not fire, extinguishes a fire. The writer of the
book of Proverbs acknowledged this truth when he wrote, "A soft answer
turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Learning the art of
giving "a soft answer" can give you an advantage in moments
of great tension, when emotions tend to take over.

John Marks Templeton
Worldwide Laws of Life

Angry words and actions cannot serve a useful purpose because they tend
to set up a chain of negative reactions that often result in a communication
breakdown. Not that it's easy to remain level-headed when we're falsely
accused, or even when we may have made a mistake. But it makes an already
bad situation worse when we don't. Once anger takes over, common sense
and reasonableness often fly out the window. Hurt feelings often ensue,
and seeds may be planted that sprout into negative consequences that are
hard to turn around. Abu'l-Fath al-Busti, a Persian poet, said,
"If you yield to your anger, you only cease to be civil."

John Marks Templeton
Worldwide Laws of Life

When you allow thoughts of anger to exercise sway, they have a
corroding and poisoning effect upon the organism; they pull it
down, and if allowed to continue will eventually tear it to pieces
by externalizing themselves in particular forms of disease.

Ralph Waldo Trine

When one obeys anger in his or her life, he or she will reap only pain
and anguish. No one can follow the habit of anger and
make any progress on the spiritual path.

Paul Twitchell

Anger comes to us because we lost contact with God. When we keep
in constant contact with God, there is no room for us to be angry.
Anger means lack of love.

Papa Ramdas

It's the people we love the most who can make us feel the
gladdest. . . and the maddest! Love and anger are such a
puzzle! It's hard for us, as adults, to understand and manage
our angry feelings toward parents, spouses, and children, or
to keep their anger toward us in perspective. It's a different
kind of anger from the kind we may feel toward strangers
because it is so deeply intertwined with caring and attachment.

Fred Rogers
The World According to Mr. Rogers

If anger is what you are, experience it. After all, it is the reality of the
moment. So if we pretend anger is not there and cover it with a directive
like “Do not be angry,” then right away there’s no chance to really know
anger for what it is. The other side of anger, if we experience its emptiness
and go through it, is always compassion. If we really, really go through it.

Charlotte J. Beck
Everyday Zen

Anger is within each one of you, and I will share a secret for a few seconds:
that if we are confined in the narrow shells of egos, and the circles of selfishness,
then the anger will turn out to be hatred, violence, revenge, destruction. But if
we are able to break the circles, then the same anger could turn into a great power.
We can break the circles by using our inherent compassion and connect with the
world through compassion to make this world better.
That same anger could be transformed into it.

Kailash Satyarthi