It's discouraging that I can't find an agent or a publisher for my novels.  It's discouraging that I earn less than half the pay at my current job that I would be earning elsewhere under the exact same circumstances.  It's discouraging that people still judge and criticize each other when we really should be looking at ourselves and practicing the ideal of "live and let live."

But I find that as time goes on, discouragement becomes more fleeting.  It's not something that ever has lasted a very long time for me, but it lasts an even shorter amount of time nowadays, for I recognize that my discouragement is my reaction.  I used to think that other people could discourage me, but now I realize that that's simply not true.  Other people always can and will do as they wish, even with me as their target if they so choose, but my feelings are tied up in my reactions to them.  My novels may never sell, but my feelings about that depend on how I react to that truth (while it still is the truth, at least).

I like the word "discourage"--it implies a stealing away of courage, a loss of courage.

It's even more interesting when you look at it as part of the group of "dis-" words, like dismay, disrespect, disillusioned, or discombobulated.  They're fascinating words.  But in the case of discourage, we have to ask ourselves--do we ever really lose our courage, or is it just pushed down by something else for a while?  When I'm standing at the edge of a tall cliff and my fear of heights kicks in, that doesn't mean that I'm no longer a courageous person.  It simply means that at that moment, my fear of heights is stronger than my courage, which I always can feel trying to overcome that fear of heights (though it never seems to succeed!).

So when I'm discouraged, I have to ask myself:  Which feeling or emotion is overwhelming my courage right now?  How would I be thinking and what would I be doing if this feeling weren't so strong right now?  Is it a feeling of having been betrayed?  Is it a feeling of uselessness or of failure?  Is it the feeling that I'll never do anything right?  There are many different feelings that can lessen my courage and make me feel weaker than I truly am.

I have to remember that, though:  They make me feel weaker than I truly am.

Discouragement visits all of us from time to time.  We all get the feeling that no matter what we do, it's somehow not worthwhile.  Our challenge is to accept that feeling for exactly what it is--a temporary state that in no way defines who we are or what we're able to do.  If we're able to accept that feeling, we can allow our true courage to come back and take its place, where it truly belongs, and our discouragement will quickly become encouragement.  It's not that the negative becomes positive, but that the positive is able to take its true place at the forefront of our lives, our thoughts, and our feelings.

Let your discouragement have its five minutes in the sun, but even as you do so keep in mind that you soon will overcome it and return to a more positive state.  No matter what anyone may do to discourage us, no matter what may happen, we know that our value isn't found in what others think of us or what others do to us, nor in the things that we "accomplish" or the number of material goods in our homes.  Our value is found in who we are and what we do with that, and if we can continually encourage ourselves, our discouragement will have less space in which to live and grow.

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