self 2 - self 3 - self 4

Compassion for others begins
with kindness to ourselves.

Pema Chödrön


The older I get, the more I realize the importance of exercising the various dimensions of my body, soul, mind, and heart.  Taken together, these aspects give me a sense of wholeness.  I want to be a whole human being rather than one who limps on one leg because I don't know how to use all of my parts.  Intellectual, emotional, and physical activity are not separate entities. Rather, they are dimensions of the same human being.

Robert Fulghum


Endeavor to be patient in bearing the defects and infirmities of others, of what sort soever they be; for thou thyself also hast many failings which must be borne with by others.

Thomas a Kempis

What another would have done as well as you, do not do it.  What another would have said as well as you, do not say it; written as well, do not write it. Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself--and there make yourself indispensable.

Andre Gide
You and I can profit by asking ourselves:  What do I see when I look through the lens of my attitude toward myself?  Am I more a critic than a friend? Do I look beyond the surface blemishes to find the truly beautiful and unique person that I am?  Or do I play the destructive "comparison game"?  What verdict does the juror of my mind pass on me:  "good at heart" or "guilty on all counts"?

John Powell, S.J.

Resolve to be thyself; and know that those
Who find themselves, lose their misery.

Matthew Arnold


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Each heart is a world.--
You find all within yourself that you find without.--
To know yourself you have only to set down a true statement
of these that ever loved or hated you.

Johann Kasper Lavater


One day, a woman found herself standing at Heaven's gate.  The angels' only
question to her was, "Zusai, why weren't you Zusai?" Within that simple question
lies the heart of all our soul work.  If you are David, why aren't you fully David?
If you are Susan, why aren't you completely Susan?  We are
here on Earth to become who we are meant to be.

Angeles Arrien

And another version of the same story:

The Hasidic rabbi, Zuscha, was asked on his deathbed what he thought the
kingdom of God would be like.  He replied, "I don't know.  But one thing
I do know.  When I get there I am not going to be asked, 'Why weren't you
Moses?  Why weren't you David?'  I am only going to be asked, 'Why weren't
you Zuscha?  Why weren't you fully you?'"

Alan Loy McGinnis


What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.
This rule, equally arduous in actual and intellectual life, may serve
for the whole distinction between greatness and meanness.  It is
the harder, because you will always find those who think they know
what is your duty better than you know it.  It is easy in the world
to live after the world's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after
our own; but the great person is one who in the midst of the crowd
keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


When you can, always advise people to do what you see they really
want to do, so long as what they want to do isn't dangerously unlawful,
stupidly unsocial, or obviously impossible.  Doing what they want to
do, they may succeed; doing what they don't want to do, they won't.

James Gould Cozzens


I was always looking outside myself for strength and
confidence, but it comes from within.  It is there all the time.

Anna Freud


When you reread a classic you do not see more in the book than you
did before; you see more in you than there was before.

Clifton Fadiman


It is healthy to accept myself as I am, to like myself, and to
love myself.  It is okay for me to accept a compliment or
praise. Because I am just as deserving and worthy as anyone
else, I may treat myself as well as I treat others, live my own
life, and enjoy my life.  There is a difference between being
unselfish and being a martyr or a victim.  There is a time for
putting myself first so that I may take care of myself
and my needs.

Jill Wolf


We all have choices to make about the quality of our presence and
how we will affect those around us.  The quality of our presence is
dependent not on what we can or cannot “do” but on the essence
of who we are and how we relate to others.  Becoming the presence
we would like to be is an intentional work.  It grows while
we make peace with ourselves and with life.

Sallirae Henderson

Remember always that you have not only the right to be
an individual; you have an obligation to be one.  You cannot
make any useful contribution in life unless you do this.

Eleanor Roosevelt

All of us have to seek in our own way to make our own selves
more noble and to realize our own true worth.

Albert Schweitzer


self 2 - self 3 - self 4   

People grind and grind in the mill of a truism, and nothing comes
out but what was put in.  But the moment they desert the tradition
for a spontaneous thought, then poetry, wit, hope, virtue,
learning, anecdote, all flock to their aid.

Ralph Waldo Emerson


The holiest of holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow


In solitude all great things are born.

Moses Harvey


We either make ourselves miserable, or we make
ourselves strong.  The amount of work is the same.

Carlos Castaneda


There's only one corner of the universe you can be certain
of improving, and that's your own self.

Aldous Huxley


To have a “self” means we are self-centered.  Being self-centered—and
therefore opposing ourselves to external things—we are anxious and
worried about ourselves.  We bristle quickly when the external environment
opposes us; we are easily upset.  And being self-centered, we are often
confused.  This is how most of us experience our lives.

Although we are not acquainted with the opposite of a self (no-self), let’s
try to think what the life of no-self might be.  No-self doesn’t mean
disappearing off the planet or not existing.  It is neither being self-centered
nor other-centered, but just centered.  A life of no-self is centered on no
particular thing, but on all things—that is, it is nonattached—so the
characteristics of a self cannot appear.  We are not anxious, we are not
worried, we do not bristle easily, we are not easily upset, and, most of all,
our lives do not have a basic tenor of confusion.  And thus to be no-self is
joy.  Not only that; no-self, because it opposes nothing,

Charlotte Joko Beck
Everyday Zen:  Love and Work


We have some inspiring and motivational books that may interest you.  Our main way of supporting this site is through the sale of books, either physical copies or digital copies for your Amazon Kindle (including the online reader).  All of the money that we earn through them comes back to the site in one way or another.  Just click on the picture to the left to visit our page of books, both fiction and non-fiction!


The person who makes everything that leads to happiness
depend upon him or herself, and not upon other people, has
adopted the very best plan for living happily.



Be yourself and think for yourself; and while your
conclusions may not be infallible, they will be
nearer right than the conclusions forced upon you.

Elbert Hubbard


Happiness belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves.
For all external sources of happiness and pleasure are,
by their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious,
ephemeral, and subject to chance.

Arthur Schopenhauer


  self 2 - self 3 - self 4

The most comprehensive formulation of therapeutic goals is the striving
for wholeheartedness:  to be without pretense, to be emotionally sincere,
to be able to put the whole of oneself into one's
feelings, one's work, one's beliefs.

Karen Horney


 Don't compromise yourself.  You are all you've got.

Janis Joplin


Some people feel they cannot survive without the support, approval, or love
of another person.  They decide who that person is and then live for him or
her.  Sometimes we choose a parent, but it can also be a spouse, a friend,
or a child.
   You choose dependence because it seems safer.  When children were not
protected by their parents, they seek protection as adults.  They want to be
treated like children.  You are taught to be dependent by parents or spouses
who prefer control to equality.
   You may feel worthless, so you use others to remind you of your value.  You
allow them to be the measure of your worth.
   See if you are choosing to let someone else live your life.  Then think about
what you really want to do.  What you want is at least as important as what
someone else wants for you, and it's much more likely to bring you happiness.

Jennifer James
Success Is the Quality of Your Journey


You have to be true to yourself, but you have to be true
to your best self, not to the self that secretly thinks
you are better than other people.

Stephen Gaskin


Self-acceptance begins in infancy, with the influence of your parents
and siblings and other important people. Your own level of self-acceptance
is determined largely by how well you feel you are accepted by the
important people in your life.
  Your attitude toward yourself is determined
largely by the attitudes that you think other people have toward you.
When you believe that other people think highly of you, your level of
self-acceptance and self-esteem goes straight up.  The best way
to build a healthy personality involves understanding
yourself and your feelings.

Brian Tracy


Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is
not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity,
and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive
quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger
temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the voices
that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and power
are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however, is
self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as soon
as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking, "Well,
that proves once again that I am a nobody." . . . [My dark side says,] I am
no good. . . I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and
abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life
because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the "Beloved." Being
the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.

Henri J.M. Nouwen


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A lot of my clients say they don't deserve to mope about their sad little
memories while children are starving in India.  I say that just because
your broken arm isn't as serious as someone else's gut wound, that
doesn't mean your injury isn't excruciating or doesn't require attention.
If you want to help the Indian children, or make the world a better place
in any other way, you have to start by becoming whole yourself.

Martha Beck
Finding Your Own North Star

The feeling that "I am enough" does not mean that I have nothing to learn,
nothing further to achieve, and nowhere to grow to.  It means that I accept
myself, that I am not on trial in my own eyes, that I value and respect
myself.  This is not an act of indulgence but of courage.

Nathaniel Branden
Self-Esteem Every Day


Being bored is an insult to oneself.

Jules Renard

I would like to travel light on this journey of life, to get rid of the
encumbrances I acquire each day. . . . The most difficult thing to
let go is my self, that self which, coddled and cozened, becomes
smaller as it becomes heavier.  I don't understand how and why
I come to be only as I lose myself, but I know
from long experience that this is so.

Madeline L'Engle

We experiment with different personalities as children and
adolescents to see how our audience responds, but then we
tend to stop changing and settle into the safety of one being,
one person.  The personality we end up with is, for most of us,
not one we have freely chosen but one that has been imposed
on us.  We chose it out of necessity, as a survival mechanism.
If you want to be happier and have a more fulfilling, authentic
life, you must be willing to begin experimenting again.  You
cannot change your life and remain the same person.  Remember
the warning, "Those who seek to save their lives will lose them,
and those who are willing to lose their lives will save them."

You have to be willing to lose your untrue self in order to change
and become your true self.  Most people do plan to make some
changes--later.  They say, "When I retire. . .," "When I have the
money. . .," "When this or that. . . ."  When people tell me what
they are going to do in the future, I respond, "Why don't you
start rehearsing and practicing now?"

Bernie Siegel
Prescriptions for Living

Edgar Guest

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.
I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;
I don’t want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done.
I don’t want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself
and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know
the kind of person I really am,
I don’t want to dress up myself in sham.
I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all people’s respect;
but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like myself.
I don’t want to look at myself and know
I am bluster and bluff and empty show.
I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;
I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,
whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.


Found online:

(Found online images come from a variety of unattributed
sources from various social media pages.  They're too nice
not to share!)


Alone in his car heading west, it's easy for Jason
to feel sorry for himself and mad at the world.  But
then he gives a ride to Hector and learns that life
isn't nearly as negative as we sometimes see it,
and that the prejudice and discrimination that
he's experiencing aren't unique to him--and aren't
impossible to overcome.  The friendship between
this young man and his 70-year-old passenger is
an inspiring story of love and dealing with
obstacles in our lives.    
Book - Kindle



Articles and book excerpts on self:

Accepting Yourself Unconditionally      Brian Tracy
Acknowledge the Totality of Your Being      Richard Carlson

Your Higher Self      Wayne Dyer

Keeping It Together      Rachel Naomi Remen

Pruning a Tree      Bernie Siegel

Self-Love      M. Scott Peck

from "Self-Reliance"      Ralph Waldo Emerson

Site to Be Developed      Bernie Siegel

Taking Charge by Taking Responsibility      Dan Millman

from The Te of Piglet      Benjamin Hoff

Your Hidden Potential      Ari Kiev

A Complete and Balanced Life      Helaine Iris

Ponderings on Max Ehrmann's "Desiderata"      tom walsh

Doing vs. Being      tom walsh

Successfully Downloading and Installing "A-Ha's"      Julie Jordan Scott

Elevate Your Life Simply and Lusciously      Julie Jordan Scott

How to Open up While Staying Safe      Rinatta Paries

In This Day      Bob Perks

It Is up to You      Jim Rohn

Journey into Your Heart      Ronald Bissell

Let Freedom Ring!      Kathy Paauw

Listen While You Speak      Louise Morganti Kaelin

Making Change, One Layer at a Time      Rosemarie Rossetti

Morning Pages      Asoka Selvarajah

Self-Improvement as It Applies to You      Robert Taylor

Solitude and Seclusion      Khalil Gibran

Sometimes Undoing and Forgetting Are Best      Asoka Selvarajah

Sprouting Seeds--the Roots of Self-Growth      Gary Barnes

The Teachers in My Life      tom walsh

Top Ten Principles to Live by--Plus One!      Louise Morganti Kaelin

You Are a Marvel      Pau Casals
The Most Important Meetings You'll Attend Are the Meetings You Have with Yourself     Denis Waitley
The Art of Living with Ourselves      Wilferd A. Peterson


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