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I've
been reading a lot lately about the idea of being versus doing,
the concept that we can get so caught up in the things that we
have to do that we stop simply being, that we stop growing and
changing as human beings. Yes, we learn more information
and we learn more ways to do things and we learn more strategies
for success in material ways and at work, but what do we learn
about who we are and how we fit in on this planet? What do
we learn about our relationship to God and life and love, and
how do we grow as the spiritual beings that we are?
I
believe that we get caught up in this trap because doing is so
much easier. We can quantify what we do--the results are
right there to see and count and judge. We can count how
many sales we've made, we can measure how much of the yard we've
landscaped, and we can count the number of times that we've
driven to the store. We can also see the results of not
doing, such as the dishes on the kitchen counter, the full
"to-do" list of things that still need to be done, or
the bed that hasn't been made or the clothes that haven't been
washed. There's a lot of value in doing, of course, for
doing allows us to keep things clean and to take care of
problems, often before they even come up.
But
there has to be time for being in there, also.
"Being" doesn't consist of sitting in front of a
screen, be it television, computer, games, of movie, for that is
a form of passive consumerism, taking in something that someone
else has done. And while this can be valuable for
unwinding after a long and stressful day, it still isn't a way
of being.
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It's
hard for me to define "being" as I'm using the term
here. No one has taught me what it means, though I have
read many books that address the idea. It seems that being
is getting in touch with that deeper part of ourselves, that
inner power that many people call "spirit," that many
others call "God." I'm not sure what I'd call
it, but I do know that I don't let it out nearly enough, and my
outward behavior and actions aren't guided nearly often enough
by its power. this is the part of me that can help me
define who I am in this world, as opposed to what I do in this
world, yet I keep it under wraps, buried beneath all of the
activities and tasks and chores that keep me running seemingly
all the days of my life.
Finding
the time to nurture this part of me--even to find it--is very
difficult. Time for prayer and reflection are hard to come
by, especially since I seem to have been conditioned throughout
my life to do things, to search out accomplishments, for they
are what I'll be judged on by others (or so I've been led to
believe).
But
have you ever met one of those people who are calm and peaceful
and loving and caring? They seem to have a radiance that
the rest of us would love to have, and it's a result of their
being able to get in touch with who they are rather than what
they do. These tend to be people who are more interested
in working at being more caring, more compassionate, and more
loving rather that filling their time with more things to
do. These are the people you would love to talk to, for
they've learned to see life with clarity and to listen without
judgment, as opposed to the people who always have suggestions
for what you should do to make things better. These are
the people that I personally would like to emulate, for that
peace of mind and peace of spirit will go much further towards
making me a happy, fulfilled person than any accomplishments
can. After all, when we accomplish something, our next
thought tends to be "what next?" When we find
peace of heart and peace of mind, we also find that "what
next?" doesn't really matter. It will come of its own
accord.
I
believe things are getting worse rather than better, for I see
the way many kids are being raised these days. Between
soccer and football and little league and choir and homework and
skiing and all of the many, many tasks that are part of their
lives, they are much, much busier doing things than members of
my generation were as kids. Children these days often have
very little time for playing, for having fun, for just being
kids, and that's both sad and frightening. As they grow
up, they can't help but develop a nagging sense of having missed
something very important.
Where
is your focus--on "being" or on
"doing"? Both are very important, but they must
be maintained in a careful balance. If we go too far over
on the doing side, we're definitely risking missing one of the
most important aspects of who we are, and we're risking never
getting in touch with that deeper part of ourselves that can
bring us fulfillment and peace. When we ask ourselves why
we're here on this planet, I'm pretty sure that the answer is
closer to "finding out who I am" than it is
"accomplishing more things than my neighbor."
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