our third page of quotes, quotations and passages on self

Very often a change of self
is needed more than
a change of scene.

Arthur C. Benson

It is not pride when the beech-tree refuses to copy the oak. The only chance of any healthy life for it is to be as full a beech-tree as it can be. Phillips Brooks

What is important is to realize that whether we understand fully who we are or what will happen when we die, it's our purpose to grow as human beings, to look within ourselves, to find and build upon that source of peace and understanding and strength that is our individual self. And then to reach out to others with love and acceptance and patient guidance in the hope of what we may become together. Elisabeth Kuebler-Ross

In thinking of ourselves as divided into “I” and “me,” we easily forget that consciousness also lives because it is moving. It is as much a part and product of the stream of change as the body and the whole natural world. If you look at it carefully, you will see that consciousness—the thing you call “I”—is really a stream of experiences, of sensations, thoughts, and feelings in constant motion. But because these experiences include memories, we have the impression that “I” is something solid and still, like a tablet upon which life is writing a record. Alan W.Watts The Wisdom of Insecurity

You have within you all of the strength and wisdom you could ever need. Never doubt that. Never fear to draw upon it. Susan Santucci

Learn to value yourself, which means to fight for your happiness.

Ayn Rand

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If only I may grow: firmer, simpler—quieter, warmer.

Dag Hammarskjöld

Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to
have more things, or more money, in order to do more
of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually
works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are,
then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

Margaret Young

One of the most common words in the invalidating, self-blaming
stories we believe about ourselves or our situations is the
word “should.” The psychologist Albert Ellis has coined the
phrase “Stop shoulding on yourself.” When you tell yourself that
you should feel or be another way, you are likely to feel bad
about yourself. As an alternative, try telling yourself that
it is okay to feel or be the way you are, even though you
have some idea that you should feel or be different.

Bill O’Hanlon

If you love yourself, you take good care of yourself. But early in life many of us stop loving ourselves and lose a sense of our own value. Others grow up with a sense of self-worth but get beaten down by the difficulties of life and then give up caring about themselves. I don't want to criticize people and tell them what to do. But I would like to see everyone accept themselves and love themselves as much as they love their pets. Some people only learn to love themselves when a life-threatening illness awakens them. When they are facing death, they stop smoking and start eating fruits and vegetables. Why wait until your life is almost over to realize that you should care for yourself?

Bernie Siegel

As you move into the day, be aware of
how you treat yourself. As you shower
or bathe, be aware of how you handle your
body. Are you gentle? Or are you rough?
As you eat your meals today, be aware of
how much time, energy, and attention
you give to nourishing yourself. When it
comes to self-nurturing, are you
attentively conscious? Are you
unconsciously rushed? Be aware of
what you do to and for yourself,
because you set the
standard for others.

Iyanla Van Zant

Don't let the opinions of other people determine the image
you have of yourself. There is no need to feel either
appreciated or understood. Be even-minded. What you think
about yourself is everything. What others think about you has
no value at all, unless you choose to give it value.

Shantidasa

When we become expert at loving and caring for ourselves,
we feel healthy, centered, and strong. We don't need to escape from
our reality through shopping, eating, drinking, drugging, or losing ourselves
in abusive relationships. We feel warm and safe within ourselves.
We learn to value everything about ourselves--our bodies and
minds, our feelings and needs, our potential, strengths and weaknesses--
throughout all the seasons of our lives. We feel free to acknowledge
the truth of who we are, realizing that God didn't send us here perfect,
but to work toward perfection. When we trust fully, accepting ourselves
not as we wish to be but as we are, we develop a sense of wholeness
that brings us joy. We stop hiding and worrying about whether anyone
else sees our flaws. We aren't defensive or judgmental. We know
who we are, we know where we stand, and we accept that
we--like everyone else in the world--have some growing to do.

Susan L. Taylor

Three things are certain: Life's too short to live for other people. (I wish
someone had told me that in my twenties.) And this, too: Life doesn't come
with a rewind button. If we want to live genuinely, we have to free ourselves
from the beliefs, attitudes, and judgments of others. We have to strive
to be our truest self. We have to hear and heed the advice of Children's
Defense Fund founder Marian Wright Edelman: "You were born God's
original. Try not to become someone's copy."

Patti LaBelle

self - self 2 - self 4 - self 5

I have observed that the vast majority of those between 12 and 20 years
of age are bitterly disappointed with who they are and what they represent.
In a world that worships superstars and miracle men, they look in the mirror
for signs of greatness, seeing only a terminal case of acne.

James Dobson

This is the miracle of life: that each person who heeds him or herself
knows what no scientist can ever know: who he or she is.

Soren Kierkegaard

My dad always used to say, "If you take a step and it feels good,
you must be headed in the right direction." What he wanted us
to understand was that we needed to measure our progress against
an inner compass, using our feelings, our comfort level, and our
knowledge of ourselves as the ultimate guide. . . .
I've spent most of my adult life trying to hear that inner voice
above the noise around me. . . . It says softly that happiness is
as simple as having something to look forward to in the morning.
It says, in a low murmur I sometimes have to strain to hear,
that now is the time to have fun.

Linda Weltner

The self exists both inside and outside the physical body,
just as an image exists inside and outside the mirror.

from the Ashtavakra Gits

Would you be a pilgrim on the road to Love? The first condition
is that you make yourself as humble as dust and ashes.

Ansari of Herat

I will cease to live as a self and will take as my self my fellow-creatures.

Shantideva

Rather than fitting one's life into the demands of external conformity,
rather than living one's life as an imitation of the life of another, one
should look to find the authentic self within. One should labor to
develop one's own unique style in crafting one's soul. An individual
who denies his or her own individuality articulates life with a voice
other than that which is uniquely his or her own. One who suppresses
one's own self is in danger of missing the point of one's own existence,
of surrendering what being human means.

Rabbi Byron L. Sherwin

When we cannot find contentment in ourselves it is useless to seek it elsewhere.

La Rochefoucauld

The culture we have does not make people feel good about
themselves. And you have to be strong enough to say
if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it.

Morrie Schwartz

Before I ever heard the term "emotional dependence," I knew that, in some mysterious way, I turned my life over to other people. It didn't matter who they were--my parents, husband, kids, friends, coworkers. If they were happy with me, then I could be happy. If they approved of me, then I felt worthwhile. If they granted permission, then I believed it was okay for me to do or be something. I looked to others for approval before feeling confident enough to take a step or a stand. I wasn't myself; I was whoever I thought the person I was trying to please wanted me to be. Since I wasn't a mind reader, no matter what form I pretzeled myself into, I wasn't able to please everyone all of the time. But I tried. That's emotional dependence!

Denying or sacrificing ourselves on the altar of others' expectations--or what we perceive to be their expectations--leaves us with no self. Without an awareness of our self, the courage to express who we are, and the willingness to experience the discomfort and exhilaration that follows, we are not truly living. We are existing merely as mirrors, reflecting other people's lives. Until we are willing to be our unique and beautiful (and, sometimes, ugly and mundane) selves, we cannot truly love either ourselves or others, and love is what life is all about.

Sue Patton Thoele

Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live
with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner
sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.

Foster C. Mcclellan

The most important aspect is to be yourself and have confidence
in yourself. . . . Triumph can't be had without the struggle.

Wilma Rudolph

I painfully dug up the entire field
so that I could plant my own crop.

Sheldon Kopp

Working on self-knowledge is not easy. Often, the harder it is, the more important it is. We dig up things we would rather not see. We resist the pain. We have a choice between a lifetime dull ache and a brief acute confrontation.

We settle for the familiar and confuse boredom with depression.

We all have unexpected moments of insight. "Oh, that's what that was all about." Few of us seem to be willing to push deeper.

People who refuse to do their personal homework reap crops sown in the past by their parents' influence and other powerful experiences. Unwilling to dig deep enough to set their own values and perceptions, they are caught forever working over the same small parts of their past.

Do your homework. Self-knowledge is for the purpose of contributing. You can change your perception of the past to bring peace to your present and our future.

Jennifer James
Success Is the Quality of Your Journey

I am convinced, both by faith and experience, that to maintain one's self on
the earth is not a hardship but a pastime--if we live simply and wisely.

Henry David Thoreau

Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t
be trapped by dogma, which is living with the results of other people’s
thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own
inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart
and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to
become. Everything else is secondary.

Steve Jobs

The place to improve the world is first in one’s own heart and
head and hands, and then work outward from there.

Robert M. Pirsig

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self - self 2 - self 4 - self 5

I exist. I am. I am here. I am becoming. I make my life and no one
else makes it for me. I must face my own shortcomings, mistakes, and
transgressions. No one can suffer my non-being as I do, but tomorrow
is another day, and I must decide to leave my bed and live again.
And if I fail, I don’t have the comfort of blaming you or life or God.

Joseph Zinker

Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our life is not
success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success, popularity, and
power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive quality often
comes from the way they are part of the much larger temptation to self-rejection.
When we have come to believe in the voices that call us worthless and unlovable,
then success, popularity, and power are easily perceived as attractive solutions.
The real trap, however, is self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or
criticizes me, as soon as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself
thinking, "Well, that proves once again that I am a nobody. I am no good. . . I
deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and abandoned." Self-rejection
is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life because it contradicts the sacred voice
that calls us the "Beloved." Being the Beloved constitutes
the core truth of our existence.

Henri J.M. Nouwen

Don’t take yourself too seriously. It just makes life all the
harder. It’ll all come out in the wash anyway, because God’s
glory eventually will eclipse everything that goes wrong on
this earth. Lighten up and learn to laugh at yourself. None
of us is infallible. We make mistakes in life, and more often
than not, they’re funny. Sometimes, being your own
source of comedy is the most fun of all.

Luci Swindoll