No, the
fly hung on as an instinctive reaction to its
situation. It was simply afraid to let go because
its instinct told it that it needed to stay where it was.
I know
many people who seem to function in the same mode.
They might take a job that they believe they have to have,
only to find six months later that it doesn't suit them at
all. But because they are where they are, they end
up holding on to the status quo because they think that's
where the safety is. I know people who lose spouses
who hang on to the hurt and the blame for years--decades
even--because they feel a sense of security in the way
that they feel they've been wronged, even if they were the
ones who caused the break-up in the first place. I
have a friend who spent years pursuing a degree in
medicine even though he was shown time after time that he
didn't have an aptitude for medicine, and even though he
did have great aptitude for other things.
These
people almost invariably end up hurting themselves and the
people who love them by the way that they cling like flies
to things that really make no sense to cling to.
Their fear of letting go makes them frustrated and
miserable--and usually miserable to be around, too, when
all they know how to talk about is how bad things are for
them. And their conversations are usually littered
with the phrase "You don't understand. . .,"
even though most of us have experienced just as much
frustration and pain as they have.
But
we have an advantage over the flies--thought and
reason. Even though we're able to think and make
choices, though, we often seem to fall into the trap of
acting instinctively, even when reason tells us that our
instinct is wrong.
I've
been like that fly myself sometimes, holding on to
something simply because I didn't know what would happen
if I let go. Even though my current situation was
negative, I wasn't willing to let go because I was afraid
that if I did so, things would get worse.
But
holding on doesn't challenge us at all, especially if
we're latched on tightly to something. How many
people do you know have held on to unfulfilling or even
damaging relationships because they've been afraid that if
they let it go, they won't find anyone new? Being
hooked into this relationship doesn't take much effort,
while ending it and finding something new would challenge
us to step outside of our comfort zones and grow as
people.
I've
worked at places where most of the people were not at all
content with their situations, but their paychecks gave
them a security that they weren't willing to risk.
The people who left almost always found work that was more
fulfilling and rewarding, but that didn't sway the people
who were holding on because it seemed the safe thing to
do.
The
fly that let go early probably had a rough moment or two
after releasing its hold. It would have been bounced
around by the stream of air that went up and over the car,
and it would have definitely become disoriented and
possibly even hurt a bit. But it would have ended up
in a far better place than the fly that held on--it would
have been free to fly and eat and do whatever it wanted
within a couple of minutes, while the other fly stayed
stuck to the windshield for an hour, for no real reason
other than it refused to let go.
What
are you stuck to in your life that isn't serving
you? What is causing you grief and anguish and pain
that you could let go right now without making yourself
miserable--and perhaps that will even make you
happier? Holding on sometimes has its rewards, but
it's also important to realize just how important it can
be to let go of something that isn't serving us--or anyone
else--any longer.
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