When somebody else has something that we want, the "mature" person realizes that he or she would like to have that thing, but--oh, well--he doesn't, or she doesn't, and that's that.  Maybe someday I'll go and buy it or work hard to earn money to be able to buy it, but for now, that person has it and I don't, and life goes on.  The covetous person, on the other hand, becomes obsessed with the idea of having that something that someone else has, whether it be a new car, a new wife or boyfriend, a new dress or jacket--whatever.  That obsession leads to dissatisfaction, as most people see it.

But that obsession is also born of dissatisfaction.  A person who's satisfied with whatever he or she has won't become obsessive about something that someone else has.  We might admire it or wish we had it, but our happiness isn't at risk when we see something we want but can't have.  Dissatisfaction comes from many sources--low self-esteem or poor self-image, feelings of inferiority, feelings of isolation or loneliness, pain suffered at the hands of someone else or ourselves--the list could go on almost forever.  But somehow or another, the person lets his or her self-image and idea of self-worth get wrapped up in this thing or person or object, in the idea of possessing it.

I believe that if we're going to deal with covetousness, we must look at it as a symptom, not as a trait itself.  It's great to say "Thou shalt not covet," but we need to ask why we're coveting.  We need to examine the ideas and ideals that the person who covets holds dear.  We need to look at the whole package, not just the covetous behavior itself.  The best thing we can do for a person who covets is not just point out the fact that he or she is doing something he or she shouldn't do, but to help them find out why they're doing so.  If they believe that people will admire them more if they were married to a certain person or driving a certain car, we need to let them know that we admire them already for exactly who they are.  They don't need to be anything else.

If you covet, ask yourself why, for the behavior is holding you back from getting the most out of what you already have, and this life we live.  If you believe that having a certain thing or person will affect how others view you, know that acceptance or admiration based on material possessions is superficial and fleeting.  You may get a few comments at first, but true admiration is based on character, and character is never reflected in the material or superficial.  Character is who you are, how you treat other people, and whom and how you love.  Be you, and be satisfied with that. Always work to improve what and who you are, but never feel that you'll be better for having some thing.  You are who you are for a reason, and the world needs you to be just who you are, and to be that person to the best of your ability.

Covetousness bursts the sack
and spills the grain.

Sir Walter Scott

The covetous person is full of fear; and he or she
who lives in fear will ever be a slave.

Horace