- self 3
- self 4
Compassion for others begins
with kindness to ourselves.
older I get, the more I realize the importance of
the various dimensions
of my body, soul, mind,
and heart. Taken together,
these aspects give me a
wholeness. I want to be a whole human
rather than one who limps on one leg
because I don't
know how to use
all of my parts. Intellectual,
emotional, and physical
activity are not
entities. Rather, they are dimensions of the same
to be patient in bearing the defects and infirmities
others, of what sort soever they be; for thou thyself
hast many failings which must be borne with by
another would have done as well as you, do not do it.
What another would have said as well as you, do not
written as well, do not write it. Be
faithful to that
which exists nowhere but in yourself--and
there make yourself indispensable.
You and I can profit by
asking ourselves: What do I see when I look through
the lens of
my attitude toward myself? Am I more a critic than a
Do I look beyond the surface blemishes to find the truly
and unique person that I am? Or do I play the
destructive "comparison game"?
What verdict does the
juror of my mind pass on me:
"good at heart" or
"guilty on all counts"?
John Powell, S.J.
to be thyself; and know that those
Who find themselves, lose their misery.
Each heart is a
You find all
within yourself that you find without.--
To know yourself
you have only to set down a true statement
of these that
ever loved or hated you.
Johann Kasper Lavater
a woman found herself standing at Heaven's gate. The
question to her was, "Zusai, why weren't
you Zusai?" Within that simple question
heart of all
our soul work. If you are David, why
aren't you fully David?
If you are Susan, why aren't
you completely Susan? We are
here on Earth
become who we are meant to be.
another version of the same story:
Hasidic rabbi, Zuscha, was asked on his deathbed what he thought
kingdom of God would be like. He replied, "I don't know. But one thing
I do know. When I get there I am not going
to be asked, 'Why weren't you
Moses? Why weren't you
David?' I am only going to be asked, 'Why weren't
you Zuscha? Why weren't you fully you?'"
I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people
This rule, equally arduous in actual and
intellectual life, may serve
for the whole distinction
between greatness and meanness. It is the harder,
because you will always find those who think they know
what is your duty
better than you know it. It is
easy in the world to live after the world's opinion;
is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great person is one who
in the midst of the crowd keeps with
the independence of solitude.
can, always advise people to do what you see they really
want to do,
so long as what they want to do isn't
dangerously unlawful, stupidly unsocial,
impossible. Doing what they want to do, they may
doing what they don't want to do, they won't.
James Gould Cozzens
you reread a classic you do
not see more in the book than
you see more in you
than there was before.
was always looking outside
myself for strength and
but it comes from
within. It is there all the time.
It is healthy to
accept myself as I am, to like myself, and to love myself. It is okay for me to accept a compliment or praise.
Because I am just as deserving
and worthy as anyone
else, I may treat myself as well as I treat others,
my own life, and enjoy my life. There is a
difference between being unselfish
and being a martyr or
a victim. There is a time for putting myself first
so that I may take care of myself and my needs.
all have choices to make about the quality of our presence and
how we will affect those around us.
The quality of our presence is
dependent not on what we can or cannot “do” but on the essence
of who we are and how we relate to others.
Becoming the presence
we would like to be is an intentional work.
It grows while
we make peace with ourselves and with life.
always that you have not only
to be an
you have an obligation to be one.
cannot make any useful contribution in life
unless you do
All of us have to seek in our own way to make
our own selves
more noble and to realize our own true worth.
and grind in the mill of a truism, and nothing comes out
but what was put in.
But the moment they desert the
tradition for a spontaneous thought, then poetry, wit,
virtue, learning, anecdote, all flock to their aid.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
The holiest of holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
- self 3
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In solitude all great things
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either make ourselves miserable,
or we make
strong. The amount of work is the same.
|There's only one corner of the
you can be certain of improving,
and that's your
person who makes everything that leads to
depend upon him or herself,
and not upon other people,
adopted the very best plan for living happily.
Be yourself and think for yourself;
and while your conclusions may not be infallible,
will be nearer right than the conclusions forced upon you.
belongs to those who are sufficient unto themselves.
all external sources of happiness and pleasure are,
their very nature, highly uncertain, precarious,
ephemeral, and subject to chance.
Being bored is an insult to
You are all you've got.
- self 3
- self 4
|Some people feel they cannot
survive without the support, approval, or love
of another person. They decide who that person is and then live
for him or
her. Sometimes we choose a parent, but it can also be a spouse,
or a child.
You choose dependence because it seems safer. When
children were not
protected by their parents, they seek protection as adults. They
want to be
treated like children. You are taught to be dependent by parents
who prefer control to equality.
You may feel worthless, so you use others to remind you
of your value. You
allow them to be the measure of your worth.
See if you are choosing to let someone else live your
life. Then think about
what you really want to do. What you want is at least as
important as what
someone else wants for you, and it's much more likely to bring you
Success Is the Quality of Your Journey
to be true to yourself,
but you have to be true to your best self,
to the self that secretly thinks
you are better than other people.
|Over the years, I have come to realize that the greatest trap in our
not success, popularity, or power, but self-rejection. Success,
and power can indeed present a great temptation, but their seductive
quality often comes from the way they are part of the much larger
temptation to self-rejection. When we have come to believe in the
that call us worthless and unlovable, then success, popularity, and
are easily perceived as attractive solutions. The real trap, however,
self-rejection. As soon as someone accuses me or criticizes me, as
as I am rejected, left alone, or abandoned, I find myself thinking,
that proves once again that I am a nobody." . . . [My dark side
says,] I am
no good. . . I deserve to be pushed aside, forgotten, rejected, and
abandoned. Self-rejection is the greatest enemy of the spiritual life
because it contradicts the sacred voice that calls us the
the Beloved constitutes the core truth of our existence.
Henri J.M. Nouwen