from and about
(biographical info at bottom of page)
peace, think peace, live peace. Be a
building-block of peace. Make it the center of your
When we hold
onto the negative in ourselves it comes with endless
guilt. We hold onto a lifetime of floating visions and
what we should have done or should have become. Conscience
recognizes wrong and tries to atone. But guilt turns into
resentment. Conscience brings us closer to each other; guilt drives us apart.
Create a new feeling. Every time guilt settles in your
write "I forgive" on a piece of paper. Send it up
the chimney, tear
it up and flush it, put it in the garbage. Don't eat it.
Jealousy is simply and
clearly the fear that you do not have value. Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be
preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative--self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you
are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes
off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy,
clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building
your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others
envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.
Throughout your life, there is a
voice only you can hear, a voice which mythologists label "the
call." A call to the value of your life. The choice of risk
and individual bliss over the known and secure. You may choose not to
hear your spirit. You may prefer to build a life within the compound, to
avoid risk. It is possible to find happiness within a familiar box, a
life of comfort and control. Or, you may choose to be open to new
experiences, to leave the limits of your conditioning, to hear the call.
Then you must act. If you never hear it, perhaps nothing is lost.
If you hear it and ignore it, your life is lost.
Next time you feel overwhelmed, breathe in deeply the freedom,
the responsibility, and remember that joy that can go
with it. You have
the ability to make a unique,
individual choice. If it is good, it is yours;
not, you can choose differently next time.
Anger is a
response that can lead to harm if we don't evaluate
what we are upset about. Ask yourself what you are afraid of,
as anger is almost always fear in disguise. If we think
or someone threatens us, we feel fear--fear that we are inadequate,
that our lives are out of control, that things won't go our way.
Then we fight. Find out what you're upset about. We rarely
upset for the reason we think.
people behind the words
Two - Year Three
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choose solitude. We think loneliness chooses us.
People fight loneliness because
they think it is a statement about their self-worth, instead
of a choice they have made.
You might be lonely because you've defined only a few
unavailable or select individuals
as worthy companions: your ex-lover or ex-spouse, your
adult children, someone who
is dead, or someone of your "class" and
You are lonely because you are a discriminating person.
There are lots of people
available to be with if you are willing to seek them
out. Loneliness doesn't choose you,
you choose loneliness in preference to the alternatives.
There is nothing wrong with your
preference--just recognize it and adapt to the circumstances
that result. . . .
The difference between loneliness and solitude is your
perception of who you are
alone with and who made the choice.
The impression is that
love is something that happens to you like magic.
That love is something others do for you, but that you cannot do
yourself. Love is not something you wait for. Love
doesn't just happen.
Love is something you do. When you want love, give
to moment, you make the choice whether to give love and be loved.
How many things do you have stored away for the future, like
squirrels with their nuts? If you were asked to give away one half,
what would you keep? When you dream about a fire, what do you
rescue in the house? Make a list. Figure out what is weight
helps you float. . . . When you let go of the constant urge to acquire,
what you truly need begins to flow into your life.
Success is not
a destination that you ever reach. Success is the
quality of your journey.
Ph.D. in cultural anthropology who also holds master's degrees in
history and psychology, Jennifer James was for twelve years a
full-time faculty member of the psychiatry department of the
University of Washington before she committed herself to a career in
community service and communications. A weekly columnist for
the Seattle Times for more than twelve years, she hosted a
daily radio talk show that ranked among the region's top-rated
Dr. James is the author of Visions from the Heart, Success is the
Quality of Your Journey, Windows, You Know I Wouldn't Say This If I
Didn't Love You, and more. She lectures worldwide to
school, university, and professional groups, including ITT, IBM,
Boeing, and the Young Presidents' Organization. She lives on
Her website is at jenniferjames.com.
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