More from and about
Jennifer James
(biographical info at bottom of page)

  

Believe in peace, think peace, live peace.  Be a
building-block of peace.  Make it the center of your strength.

   

When we hold onto the negative in ourselves it comes with endless guilt.  We hold onto a lifetime of floating visions and regrets about what we should have done or should have become.  Conscience recognizes wrong and tries to atone.  But guilt turns into resentment.  Conscience brings us closer to each other; guilt drives us apart.  Create a new feeling.  Every time guilt settles in your stomach, write "I forgive" on a piece of paper.  Send it up the chimney, tear it up and flush it, put it in the garbage.  Don't eat it.

      
Jealousy is simply and clearly the fear that you do not have value.  Jealousy scans for evidence to prove the point - that others will be preferred and rewarded more than you. There is only one alternative--self-value. If you cannot love yourself, you will not believe that you are loved. You will always think it's a mistake or luck. Take your eyes off others and turn the scanner within. Find the seeds of your jealousy, clear the old voices and experiences. Put all the energy into building your personal and emotional security. Then you will be the one others envy, and you can remember the pain and reach out to them.
  
  
Throughout your life, there is a voice only you can hear, a voice which mythologists label "the call."  A call to the value of your life.  The choice of risk and individual bliss over the known and secure.  You may choose not to hear your spirit.  You may prefer to build a life within the compound, to avoid risk.  It is possible to find happiness within a familiar box, a life of comfort and control.  Or, you may choose to be open to new experiences, to leave the limits of your conditioning, to hear the call.  Then you must act.  If you never hear it, perhaps nothing is lost.  If you hear it and ignore it, your life is lost.
  

Next time you feel overwhelmed, breathe in deeply the freedom, accept the responsibility, and remember that joy that can go with it.  You have the ability to make a unique, individual choice.  If it is good, it is yours; and if not, you can choose differently next time.

     

Anger is a response that can lead to harm if we don't evaluate
what we are upset about.  Ask yourself what you are afraid of,
as anger is almost always fear in disguise.  If we think something
or someone threatens us, we feel fear--fear that we are inadequate,
that our lives are out of control, that things won't go our way.
Then we fight.  Find out what you're upset about.  We rarely are
upset for the reason we think.

Jennifer James

   

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We choose solitude.  We think loneliness chooses us.  People fight loneliness because
they think it is a statement about their self-worth, instead of a choice they have made.
You might be lonely because you've defined only a few unavailable or select individuals
as worthy companions:  your ex-lover or ex-spouse, your adult children, someone who
is dead, or someone of your "class" and accomplishments.
You are lonely because you are a discriminating person.  There are lots of people
available to be with if you are willing to seek them out.  Loneliness doesn't choose you,
you choose loneliness in preference to the alternatives.  There is nothing wrong with your
preference--just recognize it and adapt to the circumstances that result. . . .
The difference between loneliness and solitude is your perception of who you are
alone with and who made the choice.

   

The impression is that love is something that happens to you like magic.
That love is something others do for you, but that you cannot do for
yourself.  Love is not something you wait for.  Love doesn't just happen.
Love is something you do.  When you want love, give love.  Moment
to moment, you make the choice whether to give love and be loved.

Jennifer James

   

How many things do you have stored away for the future, like
squirrels with their nuts?  If you were asked to give away one half,
what would you keep?  When you dream about a fire, what do you
rescue in the house?  Make a list.  Figure out what is weight and what
helps you float. . . . When you let go of the constant urge to acquire,
what you truly need begins to flow into your life.

   
  

Success is not a destination that you ever reach.  Success is the quality of your journey.

    
A Ph.D. in cultural anthropology who also holds master's degrees in history and psychology, Jennifer James was for twelve years a full-time faculty member of the psychiatry department of the University of Washington before she committed herself to a career in community service and communications.  A weekly columnist for the Seattle Times for more than twelve years, she hosted a daily radio talk show that ranked among the region's top-rated programs.

Dr. James is the author of Visions from the Heart, Success is the Quality of Your Journey, Windows, You Know I Wouldn't Say This If I Didn't Love You, and more.  She lectures worldwide to school, university, and professional groups, including ITT, IBM, Boeing, and the Young Presidents' Organization.  She lives on Puget Sound.

Her website is at jenniferjames.com.
  

  

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Harold Kushner
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Joni Eareckson Tada
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Leonard Jacobson
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Marianne Williamson
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Mohandas Gandhi
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Rabindranath Tagore
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Richard Carlson
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Shakti Gawain
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Sylvia Boorstein
- Thich Nhat Hanh - Thomas Carlyle - Thomas Kinkade - Thomas Merton - Tom Walsh - Victor Cherbuliez
Wayne Dyer
- Wilferd A. Peterson - Willa Cather - William James - William Wordsworth - Zig Ziglar