"But I don't mean that I really 'hate' them," is the typical response that I hear.

"Then you don't need to use that word, do you?"  I ask.  The usual response to this comment is "whatever," the same response that we hear to many different situations.  I try to make a point of letting them know that at least to some people, casual use of words such as "hate" aren't acceptable in most situations.  Most people don't care, but I do -- hatred is a quality that's always destructive, never helpful or constructive, and always unpleasant.

Hatred leads us to do or say things that we normally wouldn't say because they go against that important inner voice, our conscience.  Hatred blinds us to the good and keeps us focusing on the bad, no matter what another person or other persons may be doing.  If we hate, a person could save a family from a burning house, and we would still see the actions as self-serving -- we could even accuse the person of saving the family because he or she wanted the glory of being a hero.

When we hate, our blindness leads us to commit acts that destroy -- they can destroy friendships, business deals, relationships, even human lives.  

The terrorist attacks of September, 2001, were a strong example of the results of hatred; the people who committed those acts were so caught up in their hatred that they could think only of destruction and causing pain and damage.  In all the training that they received, their hatred was constantly reinforced by other people who hated the same "enemy," because those people who taught them knew the value of hatred in getting someone to do something that they normally wouldn't even consider.

When we hate, we destroy our own happiness and love of life.  Our focus is constantly on the negative aspects that we see in another person or group of people.  We focus on some sort of "wrong" that was done to us so strongly that the right and the beautiful that surround us every day become clouded and dim, even invisible, and that's completely our doing -- the people we hate have nothing to do with it.  We choose to focus so strongly on what we choose to hate that we give up the possibility of helping ourselves by focusing on what is good.

Hatred is a choice, a choice made due to weakness, due usually to a feeling of powerlessness.  We choose an object of hatred because of our own perceived lack of power, whether we truly are powerless or not.  This object of hatred makes us feel "good" in a warped way -- our hatred gives us a sense of righteousness, a sense of power over those we hate.  But peace of mind, compassion, and acceptance can do the same thing, only in a positive, constructive way rather than in a negative, destructive way.

Do you hate?  You shouldn't, for it's hurting you.  It's holding you back and keeping you down, and ironically, those you hate probably don't even know about your hatred or aren't letting it get to them, so you're hurting yourself without even accomplishing what you hope to accomplish.  Let go of the hatred, for you don't deserve the kind of pain it's causing you, and you'll love the feeling of freedom that comes when you're able to live your life without it.

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