Welcome to
today! This day in your life is completely
unique, unlike any
other day that you've lived so far. What are
you going to do to take advantage
of the unique opportunities to do cool things and
share your love today?
How
many undervalue the power of simplicity!
But it is the real key to the heart. -William
Wordsworth
Don't
play for safety. It's the most dangerous thing in the world.
-
Hugh
Walpole
When we cannot
bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value
the only companion we
will have from birth to death--ourselves. -
Eda LeShan
Little
people with little minds and little imaginations go
through life in little ruts, smugly resisting all changes
which would jar their little worlds. -
Zig Ziglar
As a kid,
did you ever jump off a high dive? Do you remember that
very first time you climbed up. . . and up. . . and up?
Each step seemed to take you farther away from safety, but even
though you were scared, you kept on going.
Finally
came the top of the ladder. You walked tentatively out to
the end of the board. Your heart pounded so hard you could
barely hear the kids below shouting you on. The water
seemed five miles away. You didn't really want to do this
thing, while at the same time you did. Something in you
knew this was epic, the greatest moment you would ever know,
that if you did this, you would never be the same. You
jumped. What a rush! You made it. And indeed,
your life had changed forever.
The
toughest part of ungluing ourselves from the high dive habit of
an on-going problem (for that's all problems are . . . are
habits) is forcing ourselves to release our preoccupation with
it. Like so:
You
don't have to change it;
You just have to stop focusing on it!
Is it
tough? Yes! Can it be done? You bet! But
you have to start someplace, and that someplace is a decision
that, somehow, you're going to change your focus.
Then comes
actually doing it, changing your focus to something more pleasant
so you can change your energy.
It is impossible to solve a
problem in the same frequency in which it was created, so you make
a decision that for as long as it's with you, that problem will
no longer be the focal point of your life. Like having a
cut on your finger; you know it's there and yes it hurts when you
think about it, but you don't allow it to govern your everyday
living. You believe it will heal and go away, and so it
does.
Just
remember, the most important part to changing an unwanted
condition is simply: you don't have to change it; you
just have to stop thinking about it! All it takes is
that willingness to jump.
Trick
#1. Switch focus. Now!
The moment
you recognize you're focusing on the condition with your
worry-motor running (or ticked-off motor, or blame motor, etc.),
find something else, anything else to think about that will
get you to feeling even a tiny bit better than you do at
present. And find it right now!
Switch your
thoughts to your mate (if you've got a great relationship), your
home, a song, your doggie, your new sweatshirt, a chocolate
sundae, making love, your upcoming vacation, your last vacation, a
special restaurant, your youngster asleep. ANYthing!
Make yourself do this, staying there until you can feel your mood
begin to change--which means your energy has changed--no matter
how slight.
Once you
make the feeling switch, then start talking--out loud--about what
it is you want (that's "want," not "don't
want") in place of your unwanted condition. By doing
that, your focus is now off of the condition, your Intent motor is
running in its place, and you've gotten your valve open enough to
begin the turnaround. And for heaven's sake, never mind that
your Replacement Want may seem impossible. Just get into it
and forget the "how to's."
If you
can't get into your Want/Intent feeling mode, never mind.
Just stay in the feeling of some pleasant new focus for as long as
you can. The longer (and more often) you can stay in that
higher frequency, the quicker your unwanted condition will begin
to dissipate. Conversely, the more you retain your focus on
whatever has been bothering you, the longer it will stay around.
Trick
#2. Tender-talk it out. Now!
When you
just can't seem to get your focus off the condition, start some
soothing talk to yourself, out loud, much like a loving mom or dad
might comfort a little one. Tell yourself all the comforting
things a youngster would want to hear: that it's going to be
okay, that things are in the process of changing, that you've
always been safe and always will be, that you have nothing to
fear.
Keep
talking warmly for as long as it takes for you to feel that subtle
little switch happen, and you can feel your resistance to the
higher energies backing down. You are relaxing into
well-being, your resistance to that Life-giving Source energy is
lessening, and you're quieting down. Stay there as long as
you can, with your focus off the disturbing condition.
Trick
#3. Tough-talk it out. Now!
This is
tough-love kind of talk . . . out loud . . . to yourself, one on
one. But here's the trick: you need to get tough,
not down on yourself. Don't you ever, ever, ever get
down on yourself when you find you're focusing on an unwanted
condition.
What you're
after here is stern, horse-sense reasoning where you firmly point
out to yourself what will transpire if you continue to focus
on--and stew over--the condition. Then you tell yourself
quite matter-of-factly what will happen when you remove your focus
and change your vibration.
"Now
look, Charlie, you got yourself into this mess, and you are going
to find a way to get yourself out. But if you're going to
stay in this mood and stew about it all day long, you know the
situation is going to get worse. So get off your pity pot
and find some dumb thing to feel good about. Hell yes, I
know you don't feel like feeling good right now, but . . ."
Who cares
if you believe it or not? Fake it until you feel the switch
in feeling take place, that subtle shift in your energy.
This is an
approach of hard logic. While I use it regularly and it
always makes me feel better, I find I usually have to jump from
this back into one of the other tricks to get more of that
quieted-down Feel Good motor running full steam. But that's
just me. Whatever it takes for you, go for it!
Trick
#4. Do something fun. Now!
Get
physical! Go for a walk, polish your car, brush your cat,
buy a new suit, bake a cake, play poker, trim your flowers, go to
a movie, whatever turns you on that will take your stuck focus off
the condition and soften your resistance to flowing that higher
energy. Once you feel the shift happen, start talking out
loud, gently at first, about what you want in place of the
unwanted condition.
With any of
these tricks, keep in mind that old expression, "Fake it 'til
you make it." You switch focus, you talk warmly, you
talk tough, you go for fun, you pretend, but the point is, you do
it the moment you realize your attention is on the unwanted
condition, and you stay there until you feel your feelings flip
over. They will
An
uplifting clip for you, with many thanks to Louise for
sharing it with me:
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In
February, 1987, astronomers made a sensational
discovery, when a supernova--an exploding
star--burst into view over the southern sky.
Not a single supernova had been seen in our galaxy
since 1604.
Creative
thinking, an explosion of ideas, is powerfully akin
to this celestial event. Creativity brings
light into every corner of the world. There
are big ideas and little ideas, working together to
create the magic by which inner darkness
disappears. And we can all be a part of this
process.
I
like the old proverb: "It is better to
light a candle than curse the darkness."
We need to create a moral and spiritual equivalent
to the supernova here on our earth, a
super-creativity which will abolish war, which will
conquer hunger, poverty, disease, and crime.
Light
illuminates, penetrates the darkness, shows the way
ahead. Light is synonymous with
creativity. It is explosive mental
power. It is the mind aflame, the heart aglow,
the spirit aware. It is God at work through
you.
Charles
and Anne Morrow Lindbergh were America's golden
couple. Then in March, 1932, their young son,
Charles Lindbergh, Jr., was kidnapped and brutally
murdered.
In
her published letters and diary entries, Anne Morrow
Lindbergh recounts the tragic months that
followed. For her, the light that guided her
through the grief was learning how others had come
through their trials.
Just
as she was indebted to the people who had left
behind their testimonies, Anne Morrow Lindbergh
believed that in her books she, too, must leave her
own "little grain of truth." After
all, grain must be resown in order to grow.
Goethe's
cry, "More light," as he was dying
brought a dynamic message to all of us. For
this is what we need in every area of life; more
inspiration, more love, more tolerance, more
understanding, more thinking. More light is
the goal of all creative thinkers. It is
absolutely limitless in the scope of its
possibilities.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
If you as parents cut
corners, your children will too. If you lie,
they will too.
If you spend all your money on yourselves and tithe
no portion of it for charities,
colleges, churches, synagogues,
and
civic causes, your children won't either.
And if parents
snicker
at racial and gender jokes, another generation will pass
on
the poison adults still have not had the courage to snuff out.
Marian Wright Edelman
Change
It's been rightly said (in an ironic way) that change is the only
constant in life. We all face changes every day in every
realm of our lives--changes in beliefs, in preferences, in
knowledge, in our physical bodies, in relationships, in
jobs. You name it, and you can be sure that there's a change
in it, or in the ways that we relate to it.
In living our lives fully, it's important that we recognize our
own attitudes towards change. Many of us fear change and do
everything we can to prevent it, thus involving ourselves in a
truly useless battle that leads us inevitably to frustration and
even possibly anger as the changes we've battled come to be even
though we've fought against them. Because things will change
in life--kids grow up, jobs change to fit the business
environment, people grow and learn and develop and see the world
differently, people quit their jobs, prices rise--heck, even our
climate is changing these days, and there's no way to put any of
these things back where they were, so it's important to deal with
them as they are, not how we wish that they were.
Those persons
are happiest in this restless and mutable world
who are in love with
change, who delight in what is new
simply because it differs from what
is old;
who rejoice
in every innovation, and find a strange alert
pleasure
in all that is, and that has never been before.
Agnes Repplier
We can be happy
with any change only if we accept it and react to
how things are now. Of course, not all changes
are positive--we're going through some very negative
changes in our school these days--but that doesn't
mean that we shouldn't accept those changes.
Only when we completely accept the fact that
something has changed can we work to fight that
change, if not to put things back as they were, then
to put things onto a more positive track for the
future.
Change can be exhilarating, as Agnes points out, for
when change happens, we're forced to learn new
things and to grow ourselves. It becomes
necessary for us to adapt and to approach life from
a new perspective, to see things in new and
different ways, and to re-create ourselves so that
we can deal with new situations. Sometimes, if
we're becoming bored and uninspired, we can decide
to make changes that will force us out of our safety
zones, out of our zones of little conflict into
entirely new worlds in new cities, new jobs, and new
environments. And when we do that, we're
saying to life, "Yes, life, I trust you to make
sure that things will turn out well, even if they
appear to be going poorly for a while."
Some people, unfortunately, tend to rush into
changes out of fear, and fear is a motivating factor
that we usually shouldn't allow to determine our
actions (unless our fear is for our life or of
physical harm). Or they look for change simply
for the sake of change, and they often don't learn
much of anything at all from their current
situations before they're looking for something new
already. They jump from place to place or job
to job without ever learning the important lessons
that each place or job can teach them.
Others don't spend the time making sure the change
that they seek is the most appropriate one.
How many people seek divorce without ever
considering counseling? How many quit their
jobs without seeking to improve their performance or
to deal with problems they have on their jobs?
Nearly
all great civilizations that perished did so because
they had
crystallized, because they were incapable of adapting
themselves to new
conditions, new methods, new points of view.
It is as though
people would literally rather die than change.
Fear is also a
motivator that can make people avoid change.
They may be offered a new job that pays better and
has better working conditions, yet turn it down
because they're afraid they won't do well in it, or
because it involves changing residences, or because
they're afraid of working with new people. How
many people don't buy the new computer--even though
they need it--because they're intimidated by having
to learn an entirely new operating system? How
many people won't leave destructive relationships
because they're afraid that they won't meet someone
else, and that they'll be alone?
But change is a universal--there is literally
nothing on this planet that is exactly the same as
it was two months ago. Even stones and
mountains wear away little by little, whether we see
the changes or not. Things simply have to
change if they're to stay living and dynamic--so why
do we spend so much time and effort trying to make
things stay the same in our lives? Why do we
decide that everything should be exactly the same as
it was one year ago, or two? That kind of
attitude forces us into stagnation, and stagnant
water is unhealthy water that cannot support healthy
forms of life--just unhealthy forms, and just for a
short while until the stagnant water itself dries up
and is no more.
Why should anyone be
afraid of change? What can
take place without it?
What can be more pleasing
or more suitable to universal nature?
Can you take your bath without the firewood undergoing
a change? Can
you eat without the food undergoing a change? And can anything useful
be done without change?
Don't you see that for you to change is just the same,
and is equally
necessary for universal nature?
Your change is
necessary for your development, and it's necessary
for the development of the other people in your
life, and it's necessary for the world as a whole,
too, just as Marcus Aurelius says. For you not
to change is for you to defy life and its natural
course, and we should not be defying life--we should
be flowing with it and trusting it to take us where
we need to go. So look for the places in your
life in which you're stagnating, and begin the
process of change. Read different books, or
more books. Fight your addictions that keep
you locked in certain behaviors. Ask for help
from others who have been there. Pray--not for
change, but for the strength to make the changes,
and for the discernment necessary to know which
changes really are important.
When you can start to see change as an ally that
will help you to grow and learn and develop, rather
than a threat to the status quo that keeps you safe
and stagnant, then you can start to live your life
as fully as your life was meant to be lived.
You were created to be a dynamic, thriving being,
and not a static, stagnant one.
There is no religion without love,
and people may talk as much as
they like
about their
religion, but
if it does not teach them to be
good and
kind to person and
beast, it is all a sham.
Anna Sewell
The
circumstances amid which you live determine your
reputation; the truth you believe determines your
character.
Reputation
is what you are supposed to be; character is what
you are.
Reputation
is the photograph; character is the face.
Reputation
comes over one from without; character grows up from
within.
Reputation
is what you have when you come to a new community;
character is what you have when you go away.
Your
reputation is learned in an hour; your character
does not come to light for a year.
Reputation
is made in a moment; character is built in a
lifetime.
Reputation
grows like a mushroom; character grows like the oak.
A
single newspaper report gives you your reputation; a
life of toil gives you your character.
Reputation
makes you rich or makes you poor; character makes
you happy or makes you miserable.
Reputation
is what people say about you on your tombstone;
character is what angels say about you before the
throne of God.
William
Hersey Davis
Every time we hold our tongue instead of returning the
sharp retort,
show patience for another's faults, show a little more love and kindness;
we are helping to stockpile more of these peace-bringing qualities in the
world.
Constance Foster
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).