Boundaries aren't all bad.  That's why
there are walls around mental institutions.

Peggy Noonan
Patriotic Grace


The purpose of having boundaries is to protect and take care of ourselves.  We need to be able to tell other people when they are acting in ways that are not acceptable to us. A first step is starting to know that we have a right to protect and defend ourselves. That we have not only the right, but the duty to take responsibility for how we allow others to treat us.

Robert Burney

The logical progression, then – what exactly are boundaries?  This shield can come in many different forms, but at its core, a boundary simply involves saying No.  No to giving something; no to behaving in a certain way; no to being treated in a way that will hurt your heart, your body, your totality.  Personal boundaries can come in all facets of life--physically, emotionally, and mentally.  You protect your body; you protect yourself from fatigue and stress, you protect your time, money, and even privacy.  You protect your right to a basic level of respect and courtesy.

Urban Monk

All her life, Claire had had a problem figuring out where other people ended and she began. All her life, she’d taken on the world’s hurt; she held herself responsible. But why?

Elin Hilderbrand
A Summer Affair

Individuals set boundaries to feel safe, respected, and heard.

Pamela Cummins


When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used
and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is
far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.

Brené Brown
The Gifts of Imperfection


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Setting boundaries is not a more sophisticated way of manipulation--
although some people will say they are setting boundaries, when in
they are attempting to manipulate. The difference between
setting a boundary in a healthy way and manipulating is:  when
we set a boundary we let go of the outcome.

Robert Burney


In my personal relationships, I couldn’t find the edges where I
ended and others began. I sometimes felt powerless, unsure of
who I was in relationships, and unheard. I wasn’t sure how to
change my life, but I knew that I had to.  Because I didn’t set
healthy personal boundaries, I was exhausted, I couldn’t focus,
and I felt consumed by drama around me, in both my personal
and professional lives. As I result, I dealt with a lot of conflict,
failed to take care of myself, and generally disliked my work.

Britt Bolnick


Every healthy marriage is composed of walls and windows. The windows
are the aspects of your relationship that are open to the world—that is, the
necessary gaps through which you interact with family and friends; the walls
are the barriers of trust behind which you guard the most
intimate secrets of your marriage.

Elizabeth Gilbert
Committed: A Skeptic Makes Peace with Marriage

And after we have shown each other how we have set and kept the clear,
healthy boundaries that help us live side by side with each other, let us risk
remembering that we never stop silently loving those we once loved out loud.

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The boundary to what we can accept is the boundary to our freedom.

Tara Brach
Radical Acceptance


People who violate your boundaries are thieves.
They steal time that doesn’t belong to them.

Elizabeth Grace Saunders
The 3 Secrets to Effective Time Investment


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Once you see the boundaries of your environment, they are no
longer the boundaries of your environment.

Marshall McLuhan

Appropriate boundaries create integrity.

Rae Shagalov

Indeed, the only truly serious questions are ones that even a child can
formulate.  Only the most naive of questions are truly serious.  They are
the questions with no answers.  A question with no answer is a barrier
that cannot be breached.  In other words, it is questions with no answers
that set the limit of human possibilities, describe
the boundaries of human existence.

Milan Kundera
The Unbearable Lightness of Being

Eros is an issue of boundaries.  He exists because certain boundaries do. In
the interval between reach and grasp, between glance and counterglance,
between ‘I love you’ and ‘I love you too,’ the absent presence of desire
comes alive.  But the boundaries of time and glance and I love you are only
aftershocks of the main, inevitable boundary that creates Eros: the boundary
of flesh and self between you and me.  And it is only, suddenly, at the moment
when I would dissolve that boundary, I realize I never can.

Anne Carson
Eros the Bittersweet


Appropriate boundaries create integrity.

Rae Shagalov



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Setting boundaries is a way of caring for myself.  It doesn’t make me
mean, selfish, or uncaring because I don’t do things your way.
I care about me too.

Christine Morgan

The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up,
the more difficult boundaries are for you.

David W. Earle


You need boundaries. . . Even in our material creations, boundaries
mark the most beautiful of places, between the ocean and
the shore, between the mountains and the plains,
where the canyon meets the river.

William Paul Young


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