Anchors:  Handling
Long-Term Stresses
Beth Burns

  
I once participated in an interesting group exercise. We were in a circle and each participant was asked to write down his/her greatest trouble or stressor on a piece of paper, fold it and then put it into the center of the circle. After everyone completed their writing, we were asked to pick a folded paper out of the pile. We then had the option of keeping the trouble we selected from the pile (which was someone else's) or taking our own trouble back. Inevitably, each person decided to keep their own troubles versus taking on someone else's.

It's interesting that we are most suited to handle the problems that come our way, isn't it? Do you ever feel as though you aren't handling your stresses in the best manner though? I know I have! What happens then when faced with uncertainty and chaos? What do you do in times of trouble when you need to be anchored and grounded? What brings you stability and inner peace?

Here are some suggestions that work for me and clients I work with:

1. Take a break and enjoy the present moment.  I like to call these my "respite retreats." (This is my own definition of R&R). :) Remove yourself from the situation at hand and change your pattern. Perhaps you can take nap or a walk. Explore and enjoy nature. Take a long bath. 

Treat yourself to a cultural event such as a museum or concert. Remember to breathe deep and savor the moment. If you are like most people, you'll find your perspective is new once you have stepped away from your stress for a bit.

What can you do to give yourself a break and a fresh perspective?

2. Hold on to tradition or routine. We humans like what feels comfortable to us. For long term stress, one of the best things we can do for ourselves is to maintain a familiar routine.

I remember a few years ago when I was going through my divorce. It was tough on my kids being divided between two homes. One thing that kept us grounded during those turbulent days was spaghetti. :) I often make a big pot of spaghetti sauce with fresh herbs and meatballs, letting it simmer all day long. The "recipe," if there ever really was one, was handed down from an elderly Italian lady, who passed it on to my Dad, who then passed it along to me. Big spaghetti dinners are not just a meal, but an event at our house. These meals were familiar to my kids and brought comfort (comfort food) to them, even though their world was turbulent while adjusting to divorce. Our spaghetti suppers became a sacred time for honest sharing between my kids and me. Spaghetti is still a tradition we established that really anchors my family.

What traditions or routines do you have that bring you comfort?

3. Connect with others and with God. Faith can be waning when times are tough. It's especially important during these times to keep the communication open between God and you and also others and you. Make time for prayer and meditation as well as seek the guidance of a trusted friend or family member. If you attend a place of worship, go and find solace there. If you don't, consider going or designing your own way to reach out to God.

When my son, who was 7 at the time and is now 13, was diagnosed with Type I diabetes, my world was rocked to the very core. I know there are worse fates, but having a sick child is pretty devastating to a parent. Diabetes is especially cruel to children and is a chronic condition in which there is no cure or break from. I was in a daze, angry and hurt for a long, long time. Reaching out to others seemed to be too strenuous of an effort and attending church just seemed inconsistent with my spirit at that time. I was fortunate to have a dear friend who listened, but told me to snap out of it, pick myself up and get on with life. I needed that kick in the butt more than anything! We all need to have friends like that! It took some time but I was able to reconnect with other friends and God, who equipped me so adequately for handling the pressures associated with having a diabetic child. Without that connection and without faith, I can only imagine how difficult it would be each day to face challenges solo. I am grateful for a pretty healthy child and a bright (hence the name BrightSide Coaching) outlook on life.

With whom and how can you connect?

4. Distinguish between your perception of your stress and what is real about your stress.  Focus on the aspects of your obstacles (which can be opportunities in disguise) that will empower you.  If you have a personal responsibility that needs to be handled such as an incomplete conversation, forgiveness or acceptance, then increase your self confidence by taking care of it.  This can be challenging and training your mind requires persistence.

I recommend writing in a journal and using affirmations as a way of strengthening yourself to respond to stress in the way that is healthy. Developing this muscle is the same as developing your physical muscles -- it takes repetition and practice.

What's really going on with your stress and what can you do about it now?

So often we think that peace of mind is just something that we have when all is going well.  Not true!  Peace comes from a combination of many factors and each one of us can tap into them when we choose to.  When we use these suggestions consistently we can find that peace that will sustain us when the world around us is chaotic.

* * * * *

Copyright Beth Burns.  Beth is a Professional Life Coach -- partnering with motivated people on their personal and professional goals.  Her mission is to teach people to love themselves and love their life!  She offers two free email newsletters and can be visited on the web at www.BrightSideCoaching.com.

  

In every adversity there lies the seed of an equivalent advantage.
In every defeat is a lesson showing you how to win the victory next time.

Robert Collier

  


  
welcome page - contents - gallery - obstacles - quotations
 the people behind the words - our current e-zine
 articles and excerpts - Daily Meditations, Year Two - Year Three
     

Sign up for your free daily spiritual or general quotation

   

  

All contents Living Life Fully, all rights reserved.

   

HOME - contents - Daily Meditations - abundance - acceptance - achievement - action - adversity - advertising - aging - ambition
anger - anticipation - anxiety - apathy - appreciation - arrogance - art - attitude - authenticity - awakening - awareness - awe
balance - beauty - being yourself - beliefs - body - brooding - busyness - caring - celebration - challenges -
change - character
charity - children - choices - Christianity - coincidence - commitment - common sense - community - comparison - compassion
competition - complaining - compliments - compromise - confidence - conformity - conscience - contentment - control - cooperation
courage - covetousness - creativity - crisis - criticism - cruelty -  death - decisions - desire - determination - disappointment
discipline - discouragement - diversity - doubt - dreams - earth - education - ego - emotions - encouragement - enlightenment
enthusiasm - envy - eternity - ethics - example - exercise - experience - failure - faith - fame - family - fate - fathers - fault-finding
fear - feelings - finances - flowers - forgiveness - freedom - friendship - frustration - fun - the future - garden of life - gardening
generosity - gentleness - giving - goals - God - goodness - grace - gratitude - greatness - greed - grief - growing up - guilt - habit
happiness - hatred - healing - health - heart - helpfulness - home - honesty - hope - hospitality - humility - hurry - ideals - identity
idleness  - idolatry - ignorance - illusion - imagination - impatience - individuality - the inner child - inspiration - integrity - intimacy
introspection - intuition - jealousy - journey of life - joy - judgment - karma - kindness - knowledge - language - laughter - laziness
leadership - learning - letting go - life - listening - loneliness - love - lying - magic - marriage - materialism - meanness - meditation
mindfulness - miracles - mistakes - mistrust - moderation - money - mothers - motivation - music - mystery - nature - negative attitude
now - oneness - open-mindedness - opportunity - optimism - pain - parenting - passion - the past - patience - peace - perfectionism
perseverance - perspective - pessimism - play - poetry - positive thoughts - possessions - potential - poverty - power - praise
prayer
- prejudice - pride - principle - problems - progress - prosperity - purpose - reading -recreation - reflection - relationships
religion - reputation - resentment - respect - responsibility - rest - revenge - risk - role models - running - ruts - sadness - safety
seasons of life - self - self-love - self-pity - self-reliance - self-respect selfishness - serving others - shame - silence - simplicity
slowing down - smiles -solitude - sorrow - spirit - stories - strength - stress - stupidity - success - suffering - talent
the tapestry of life - teachers - thoughts - time - today - tolerance - traditions - trees - trust - truth - unfulfilled dreams - values
vanity - virtue - vulnerability - walking - war - wealth - weight issues - wisdom - women - wonder - work - worry - worship
youth - spring - summer - fall - winter - Christmas - Thanksgiving - New Year - America - Zen sayings - articles & excerpts
Native American wisdom - The Law of Attraction - obstacles to living life fully - e-zine archives - quotations contents
our most recent e-zine - Great Thinkers - the people behind the words

  

We have some inspiring and motivational books that may interest you.  Our main way of supporting this site is through the sale of books, either physical copies or digital copies for your Amazon Kindle (including the online reader).  All of the money that we earn through them comes back to the site in one way or another.  Just click on the picture to the left to visit our page of books, both fiction and non-fiction!

   

  

Now you can have almost 4,000 quotations from our extensive collection to take with you wherever you go, for just 99 cents.  For less than one dollar, you can have this collection on your Kindle or your laptop (when you download the Kindle for PC program)--and have the wisdom of the ages with you for your perusal at any time you  may want or need it.  This is priceless content that can add incredibly positive thoughts to whatever kind of day or week you may be going through. . . helpful advice always will be just a couple of clicks away!