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Where
there is forgiveness,
there is God himself.
from
the Adi Granth
(sacred Sikh text) |
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forgiveness |
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The
process of making sense of our wounds is a very personal
one.
But a common theme in wound healing is the
universal need to forgive.
If we don't forgive
ourselves for our mistakes, and others for the wounds
they have inflicted upon us, we end up crippled with
guilt. And the soul
cannot grow under a blanket of
guilt, because guilt is isolating,
while growth is a
gradual process of reconnection to our selves,
to other
people, and to a larger whole.
Joan
Borysenko
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When I
feel betrayed by someone,
instead of sulking, clinging to
my resentment
and playing the
role of victim, I am
challenged to
strengthen my soul through forgiveness.
By forgiving the person who hurt me,
I strengthen
my soul. . . . each time
we are called upon
to forgive, we
nourish our souls and learn more about
who we are and what we have to
share
in this world. This is also an
example of unconditional love.
John Gray
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If we can forgive everyone, regardless of
what he or she may have done,
we nourish the soul and
allow our whole being to feel good.
To hold a
grudge against anyone is like carrying the devil on your
shoulders.
It is our willingness to forgive and
forget that casts away such a burden
and brings light
into our hearts, freeing us from many ill feelings
against our fellow human beings.
Sydney Banks |
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To understand is not
only to pardon,
but in the end to love.
Walter Lippmann |
The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness
is the attribute of the strong.
Mahatma Ghandi |
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It is very easy to
forgive others their mistakes;
it takes more grit and
gumption to forgive them
for having witnessed your own.
Jessamyn West |
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Holding on to anger is like
grasping a hot coal
with the intent of throwing it at
someone else;
you are the one who gets burned.
Buddha |
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Resentment is
the number one offender. It destroys more
alcoholics
than anything else. From it stem all
forms of spiritual disease, for
we have been not
only mentally and physically ill,
we have been
spiritually sick.
Alcoholics
Anonymous |
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To be angry about trifles is mean and childish;
to rage and be furious is brutish;
and to maintain
perpetual wrath is akin to the practice and temper of
devils;
but to prevent and suppress rising resentment is
wise and glorious,
is manly and divine.
Isaac Watts |
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The moment
an individual can accept and forgive him or herself, even a
little,
is the moment in which he or she becomes to some degree
lovable.
Eugene Kennedy |
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Those
that cannot forgive
others break the bridge
over which they must pass themselves;
for every person has need to be forgiven.
Thomas Fuller |
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I
come from a background in which anger and resentment were
rather normal. It wasn't that the people in my life
liked being angry and resentful--they just hadn't learned
how to deal with their feelings in other ways. Because
of this background, though, it took me many years during
my young adulthood to unlearn this pattern, to realize
that such thoughts were not only negative, but also
harmful.
One of the most important accomplishments in
my life has been to learn how to forgive. I don't
always do so quickly enough to save myself a few
miserable days, but I have learned to view people's
actions in a much more objective light, taking them much
less personally. Usually I see behavior that
affects me negatively as a reflection of bad things that
are going on in other people's lives, and this helps me
to forgive much more easily. Did that guy cut me
off in traffic? Maybe he's in a hurry because
someone's sick. Did that person talk about me
behind my back? Well, maybe she's feeling insecure
about herself, and she has to knock someone down to make
herself feel better. Her words don't change who I am.
Being
able to see things this way has almost no effect at all on the other
people involved in any situation, but it does have a strong effect on
me: I'm able to feel more peaceful, more relaxed, and more able
to help others. I feel that things are okay apart from this one
small aspect of my life, and my forgiveness helps me to realize the
relative insignificance of this aspect. I'm not here on this
planet to control other people and have them ask for forgiveness when
I feel they should do so--the only person's actions and thoughts over
which I have any sort of control are my own, and I can forgive if I choose to do so, knowing that doing so helps me.
There's a common misconception that
forgiving someone implies that the action that's being
forgiven was okay, but I always keep in mind that I'm
forgiving the person, not the action. Hurting other
people is always wrong, but we all make mistakes and hurt
others. I'm very thankful that some people in life
have forgiven me for some of my actions, so why shouldn't
i show the same courtesy to others? Forgiving doesn't
make wrong right or take away responsibility--forgiveness
just says it's not up to me to judge, and I'm not going
to hold a grudge against you just because you made a
mistake.
tdw
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I can have peace of mind only when
I forgive
rather than judge.
Gerald Jampolsky |
Forgiving
those who hurt us is
the key to personal peace.
G. Weatherly
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"I
can forgive, but I cannot forget" is only another
way of saying,
"I will not forgive."
Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note--
torn in two
and burned up so that it never can be shown against one.
Henry Ward Beecher |
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Keeping
score of old scores and scars, getting even
and one-upping, always make you less than you are.
Malcolm Forbes |
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Forgiveness requires
more than words. Words are meaningless unless they are
consistent with life actions. You may say you have
forgiven someone, but if
you avoid them, grow angry when
you are with them, or allow chaos to be part of your
relationship, forgiveness is not in your heart. People
read forgiveness
in attitudes and responses. Through your
actions, you can tell others you have accepted God's love
and forgiven the hurts of your life.
Elizabeth B. Brown |
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The vital
importance of forgiveness may not be obvious at first sight, but
you may be sure
that it is not by chance that every great spiritual
teacher from Jesus Christ downward
has insisted so strongly upon it.
You must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter
of form,
but in your heart -- and that is the long and the short of it.
You do this, not for
the other person's sake, but for your own sake.
Resentment, condemnation, anger, desire
to see someone punished are
things that rot your soul. Such things fasten your troubles
to
you with rivets. They fetter you to many other problems
that actually have nothing
to do with the original grievances
themselves.
Emmet
Fox
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Ruby stepped
toward him. "Edward," she said softly. It was
the first time she had called him by name. "Learn this from me.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think
that
hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us.
But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to
ourselves.
"Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do
you remember the lightness
you felt when you first arrived in heaven?"
Eddie did. Where is my pain?
"That's because no one is born with anger.
And when we die,
the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must
understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel
it."
She touched his hand.
"You need to forgive your father."
Mitch Albom
from The Five People You Meet in Heaven
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The
process of forgiveness—indeed, the chief reason for forgiveness—is
selfish.
The reason to forgive others is not for their sake.
They are not likely to know
that they need to be forgiven. They’re
not likely to remember their offense.
They are likely to say, “You just made it up.”
They may even be dead. The
reason
to forgive is for our own sake. For
our own health. Because
beyond that point needed
for healing, if we hold on to our anger, we stop growing and our souls
begin to shrivel.
M.
Scott Peck
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Often,
we are harder on ourselves than others are. If we cannot
forgive ourselves, how can we forgive other people? Everyone's
lesson is
to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, even those things we feel ashamed
about, and learn to accept ourselves for who we are, knowing that
we can always gently work on making improvements. For me,
the true experience of inner peace began only once I was able
to forgive those around me, my parents, and myself.
Patrick
Wanis
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Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them
so much.
Oscar Wilde
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Two
friends were walking through the desert. During some point
of the journey they had an argument and one friend slapped the
other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything,
wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the
face."
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they
decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got
stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved
him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
"Today my best friend saved my life."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,
"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write
on a stone. Why?"
The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should
write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it
away. But when someone does something good for us, we must
engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it." |
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Know that compassion
for others begins with being able
to accept and forgive yourself. As long as you judge
others for their imperfections, you will never be able
to truly accept and love yourself.
Susan Santucci
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Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart
and cools the sting.
William Arthur Ward
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