there is forgiveness,
there is God himself.
the Adi Granth
(sacred Sikh text)
It is very easy to
forgive others their mistakes;
it takes more grit
gumption to forgive them
for having witnessed your own.
can forgive, but I cannot forget" is only another
way of saying,
"I will not forgive."
Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note--torn in two
and burned up so that it never can be shown against one.
Henry Ward Beecher
we are harder on ourselves than others are. If we cannot
how can we forgive other people? Everyone's
to forgive ourselves for our
mistakes, even those things we feel ashamed
about, and learn to accept ourselves for
who we are, knowing that
we can always gently work on making improvements. For
the true experience of inner peace began only once I was able
to forgive those around me, my parents, and myself.
If we can forgive everyone, regardless of
what he or she may have done,
we nourish the soul and
allow our whole being to feel good. To hold a
against anyone is like carrying the devil on your
shoulders. It is our willingness
to forgive and
forget that casts away such a burden
and brings light
hearts, freeing us from many ill feelings
against our fellow human beings.
It is surely
better to pardon too much than to condemn too much.
is an act of love. As I forgive, I release negative energy that
may manifest as resentment or anger. I open the way for something
to happen. If I feel wronged or annoyed, I release the impulse to
lines of communication remain open, and understanding flows
with family, friends and colleagues flourish when I act with compassion
easily forgive. I relate to others in harmonious ways. I
exercise the same
forgiving attitude toward myself. If I have erred, I learn from it
and move on.
I draw from the reservoir of God's love within me to give and receive
(the Daily Word)
people behind the words
Two - Year Three
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To understand is not
only to pardon,
but in the end to love.
The weak can never forgive.
is the attribute of the strong.
feel betrayed by someone,
of sulking, clinging
and playing the
role of victim, I am
strengthen my soul through
By forgiving the
my soul. . . . each
are called upon
to forgive, we
nourish our souls and learn more
who we are and what we have to
in this world. This
is also an
example of unconditional love.
Holding on to anger is like
grasping a hot coal
with the intent of
throwing it at
someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
the number one offender. It destroys more
than anything else. From it stem all
forms of spiritual disease, for
we have been not
only mentally and physically ill,
we have been
To be angry about trifles is mean and childish;
to rage and be furious
and to maintain
perpetual wrath is akin to the practice
and temper of
but to prevent and suppress rising
resentment is wise and glorious,
is manly and divine.
an individual can accept and forgive him or herself, even a
is the moment in which he or she becomes to some degree
that cannot forgive
others break the bridge
over which they
must pass themselves;
for every person has need to be forgiven.
forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other
person apologize or change. Don't worry about whether or not
they finally understand you. Love them and release them.
Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.
come from a background in which anger and resentment were
rather normal. It wasn't that the people in my life
liked being angry and resentful--they just hadn't learned
how to deal with their feelings in other ways. Because
of this background, though, it took me many years during
my young adulthood to unlearn this pattern, to realize
that such thoughts were not only negative, but also
One of the most important accomplishments in
my life has been to learn how to forgive. I don't
always do so quickly enough to save myself a few
miserable days, but I have learned to view people's
actions in a much more objective light, taking them much
less personally. Usually I see behavior that
affects me negatively as a reflection of bad things that
are going on in other people's lives, and this helps me
to forgive much more easily. Did that guy cut me
off in traffic? Maybe he's in a hurry because
someone's sick. Did that person talk about me
behind my back? Well, maybe she's feeling insecure
about herself, and she has to knock someone down to make
herself feel better. Her words don't change who I am.
able to see things this way has almost no effect at all on the other
people involved in any situation, but it does have a strong effect on
me: I'm able to feel more peaceful, more relaxed, and more able
to help others. I feel that things are okay apart from this one
small aspect of my life, and my forgiveness helps me to realize the
relative insignificance of this aspect. I'm not here on this
planet to control other people and have them ask for forgiveness when
I feel they should do so--the only person's actions and thoughts over
which I have any sort of control are my own, and I can forgive if I choose to do so, knowing that doing so helps me.
There's a common misconception that
forgiving someone implies that the action that's being
forgiven was okay, but I always keep in mind that I'm
forgiving the person, not the action. Hurting other
people is always wrong, but we all make mistakes and hurt
others. I'm very thankful that some people in life
have forgiven me for some of my actions, so why shouldn't
i show the same courtesy to others? Forgiving doesn't
make wrong right or take away responsibility-- forgiveness
just says it's not up to me to judge, and I'm not going
to hold a grudge against you just because you made a
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I can have peace of mind only when
rather than judge.
those who hurt us is
the key to personal peace.
score of old scores and scars, getting even
and one-upping, always make you less than you are.
more than words. Words are meaningless
unless they are
consistent with life actions. You may say you
forgiven someone, but if
you avoid them, grow angry when
you are with them, or allow chaos to be part of your
forgiveness is not in your heart. People
attitudes and responses. Through your
actions, you can tell
others you have accepted God's love
and forgiven the hurts of your life.
Elizabeth B. Brown
practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.
importance of forgiveness may not be obvious at first sight, but
you may be sure
that it is not by chance that every great spiritual
teacher from Jesus Christ onward
has insisted so strongly upon it.
You must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter
but in your heart -- and that is the long and the short of it.
You do this, not for
the other person's sake, but for your own sake.
Resentment, condemnation, anger, desire
to see someone punished are
things that rot your soul. Such things fasten your troubles
you with rivets. They fetter you to many other problems
that actually have nothing
to do with the original grievances
toward him. "Edward," she said softly. It was
the first time she had called him by name. "Learn this from me.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think
hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us.
But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to
"Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do
you remember the lightness
you felt when you first arrived in heaven?"
Eddie did. Where is my pain?
"That's because no one is born with anger.
And when we die,
the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must
understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel
She touched his hand.
"You need to forgive your father."
from The Five People You Meet in Heaven
process of forgiveness—indeed, the chief reason for forgiveness—is
The reason to forgive others is not for their sake.
They are not likely to know
that they need to be forgiven. They’re
not likely to remember their offense.
They are likely to say, “You just made it up.”
They may even be dead. The
to forgive is for our own sake. For
our own health. Because
beyond that point needed
for healing, if we hold on to our anger, we stop growing and our souls
begin to shrivel.
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them
friends were walking through the desert. During some point
of the journey they had an argument and one friend slapped the
other one in the face.
The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything,
wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the
They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they
decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got
stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
"Today my best friend saved my life."
The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him,
"After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write
on a stone. Why?"
The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should
write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it
away. But when someone does something good for us, we must
engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
Know that compassion
for others begins with being able
to accept and forgive yourself. As long as you judge
others for their imperfections, you will never be able
to truly accept and love yourself.
Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart
and cools the sting.
William Arthur Ward
Those who cannot forgive break the
bridge over which they themselves must pass.
does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.
|Forgiveness is me giving up my right
to hurt you for hurting me.
Forgiveness is a perfectly selfish
act. It sets you free from the past.
situation is ultimately a lesson in forgiveness.
Forgiveness is our decision to see the love that is real in all
of us, despite whatever appearances to the contrary there
are. Fear melts away when we refuse to affirm its ultimate
reality. When we see beyond fear, it
dissolves. I no longer blame you because I don't believe
the part of you that acted is who you really are. I relate
instead to your innocence, to the angel within you, which
remains, no matter what you do. That is the power of
forgiveness: to call forth a higher reality by acknowledging
a higher reality.
process of making sense of our wounds is a very personal
one. But a common
theme in wound healing is the
universal need to forgive. If we don't forgive
for our mistakes, and others for the wounds
they have inflicted upon us, we end up
guilt. And the soul
cannot grow under a blanket of
guilt, because guilt
while growth is a
gradual process of reconnection to our selves,
people, and to a larger whole.
Forgiveness can be a
powerful healing agent. Forgiveness is a process
of giving up the false for the true, erasing error from mind and body
life. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive
sometimes involves a flight of imagination--being able to understand the
influences that may have shaped your oppressor's behavior. If we
to understand, to the best of our ability, where another person may be
coming from, observe what situations may be prevalent in his or her
and put forth the effort to "walk a mile in his or her shoes,"
we may be
less quick to take offense at what may be directed toward us. Once
can comprehend the dynamics behind the abuse, you may be more ready
to forgive. And old African proverb says, "one who forgives
quarrel." Are you willing to be the instigator of such a
Worldwide Laws of Life
Learning to forgive is much more
useful than merely picking up
a stone and throwing it at the object of one's anger; the more so
when the provocation is extreme. For it is under the greatest
adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good,
both for yourself and others.
The Dalai Lama
Forgiveness of others' injuries stamps our
spirituality as genuine
and authentic. Not to be forgiving reduces our spirituality to
a merely human imitation of the real thing.
Joseph F. Girzone
Love means to love
that which is unlovable, or it is no virtue
at all; forgiving means to pardon that which is
unpardonable, or it is no virtue at all.
and forgetting are often paired together, but the one certainly
doesn't necessarily follow the other. Some injuries, real
or imagined, we may never be able to forget, even though we way
we've forgiven them. Other injuries we may never even be
able to say that we forgive. Those are the ones, it seems
to me, most likely to involve people we've loved, and so I'm
inclined to look at what our experiences of forgiveness may have
been like from the first people who loved us.
The first time we required forgiveness, we probably
did something we shouldn't have when our closest grown-ups
thought we should have known better. We made someone
angry. We were to blame. What did the first brush
with blame begin to teach us?
If we were fortunate, we began to learn that
"to err is human." Even good people sometimes do
bad things. Errors might mean corrections, apologies,
repairs, but they didn't mean that we, as a person, were a bad
person in the sight of those we loved. The second thing we
learned (if we were fortunate) was that having someone we loved
get mad at us did not mean that person had stopped loving us; we
had their unconditional love, and that meant we would
have their forgiveness, too.
World According to Mr. Rogers
To be able to forgive, we must come down from the
citadel of pride, from
the stronghold of hate and anger, from the high place where all emotions
issue from one's sense of being wronged shout only for vengeance and
is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our
enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive
people we love.
There is only one thing evil cannot stand and that is
William F. Orr