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Asking
for Help
June Hetzel
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I am part of the fifteen percent of the general
population that prefers to work alone, and so I
often forget the concept of teamwork. In
my mind, I think I am responsible for every
aspect of household chores, schoolwork, and
business. I tend not to ask for help, but
instead, attempt to carry the load alone.
Nothing could be more exhausting.
My husband, Geoff, has helped me learn that
sharing the household duties can be liberating
and fun. Geoff often does the grocery
shopping, cooking, and/or clean-up for
meals. When we first got married, I had
some difficulties accepting that he actually
wanted to be in the kitchen. I felt
obligated to be in the kitchen and fought for
control at all times.
Over the last seven years of marriage, I have
learned to "let go" and share the joys
and challenges of household tasks. I now
find that I can come home from a hard day's work
and enjoy a meal my husband has cooked.
It's okay to take turns with household duties
and to deviate from traditional roles. I
have also learned to say, "I need
help. We are having company to night, and
which part of this list can you do, honey?"
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Because we all have different gifts and
preferences, your household's sharing of tasks
will look quite different than mine.
If it's difficult for you to accept the kind
help of others, why not say, "Thanks, yes,
you may," instead of "No, I can do
it." They may not do it in the same
way you would, but they'll appreciate being
involved. Teamwork makes the load
light. If we deprive others of the
opportunity to share, we're stealing their
opportunity for abundant living.
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Letting
go doesn't mean we don't care. Letting go doesn't mean
we shut down.
Letting go means we stop trying to force outcomes and make
people behave.
It means we give up resistance to the way things are, for
the moment.
It means we stop trying to do the impossible--controlling
that which
we cannot--and instead, focus on what is possible--which
usually means
taking care of ourselves. And we do this in
gentleness, kindness,
and love, as much as possible.
Melody
Beattie |
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The
harder you fight to hold on to specific assumptions,
the more likely there's gold in letting go of them.
John
Seely Brown |
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