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One
cold winter evening I returned home from a walk in the
hills, and I found that all the doors and windows in my
hermitage had blown open. When I had left earlier, I
hadn't secured them, and a cold wind had blown through the
house, opened the windows, and scattered the papers from my
desk all over the room. Immediately, I closed the
doors and windows, lit a lamp, picked up the papers, and
arranged them neatly on my desk. Then I started a fire
in the fireplace, and soon the crackling logs brought warmth
back to the room.
Sometimes
in a crowd we feel tired, cold, and lonely. We may
wish to withdraw to be by ourselves and become warm again,
as I did when I closed the windows and sat by the fire,
protected from the damp, cold wind. Our senses are our
windows to the world, and sometimes the wind blows through
them and disturbs everything within us. Some of us
leave our windows open all the time, allowing the sights and
sounds of the world to invade us, penetrate us, and expose
our sad, troubled selves. We feel so cold, lonely, and
afraid. Do you ever find yourself watching an awful TV
program, unable to turn it off? The raucous noises,
explosions of gunfire, are upsetting. Yet you don't
get up and turn it off. Why do you torture yourself in
this way? Don't you want to close your windows?
Are you frightened of solitude--the emptiness and the
loneliness you may find when you face yourself alone?
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Watching
a bad TV program, we become the TV program. We
are what we feel and perceive. If we are angry, we are
the anger. If we are in love, we are love. If we
look at a snow-covered mountain peak, we are the
mountain.
We can be anything we want, so why do we
open our windows to bad TV programs made by sensationalist
producers in search of easy money, programs that make our
hearts pound, our fists tighten, and leave us
exhausted? Who allows such TV programs to be made and
seen by even the very young? We do! We are too
undemanding, too ready to watch whatever is on the screen,
too lonely, lazy, or bored to create our own lives. We
turn on the TV and leave it on, allowing someone else to
guide us, shape us, and destroy us. Losing ourselves
in this way is leaving our fate in the hands of others who
may not be acting responsibly. We must be aware of
which programs do harm to our nervous systems, minds, and
hearts, and which programs benefit us.
Of
course, I am not talking only about television. All
around us, how many lures are set by our fellows and
ourselves? In a single day, how many times do we
become lost and scattered because of them? We must be
very careful to protect our fate and our peace. I am
not suggesting that we just shut all our windows, for there
are many miracles in the world we call
"outside." We can open our windows to these
miracles and look at anyone of them with awareness.
This way, even while sitting beside a clear, flowing stream,
listening to beautiful music, or watching an excellent
movie, we need not lose ourselves entirely in the stream,
the music, or the film. We can continue to be aware of
ourselves and our breathing. With the sun of awareness
shining in us, we can avoid most dangers. The stream
will be purer, the music more harmonious, and the soul of
the filmmaker completely visible.
We
may want to leave the city and go off to the countryside to
help close those windows that trouble our spirit.
There we can become one with the quiet forest, and
rediscover and restore ourselves, without being swept away
by the chaos of the "outside world." The
fresh and silent woods help us remain in awareness, and when
our awareness is well-rooted and we can maintain it without
faltering, we may wish to return to the city and remain
there, less troubled. But sometimes we cannot leave
the city, and we have to find the refreshing and peaceful
elements that can heal us right in the midst of our busy
lives. We may wish to visit a good friend who can
comfort us, or go for a walk in a park and enjoy the trees
and the cool breeze. Whether we are in the city, the
countryside, or the wilderness, we need to sustain ourselves
by choosing our surroundings carefully and nourishing our
awareness in each moment.
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