quotes, quotations and passages on forgiveness

Where there is forgiveness,
there is God himself.

from the Adi Granth
(sacred Sikh text)

It is very easy to forgive others their mistakes; it takes more grit and gumption to forgive them for having witnessed your own. Jessamyn West

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget" is only another way of saying, "I will not forgive." Forgiveness ought to be like a canceled note--torn in two and burned up so that it never can be shown against one. Henry Ward Beecher

Often, we are harder on ourselves than others are. If we cannot forgive ourselves, how can we forgive other people? Everyone's lesson is to forgive ourselves for our mistakes, even those things we feel ashamed about, and learn to accept ourselves for who we are, knowing that we can always gently work on making improvements. For me, the true experience of inner peace began only once I was able to forgive those around me, my parents, and myself. Patrick Wanis

If we can forgive everyone, regardless of what he or she may have done, we nourish the soul and allow our whole being to feel good. To hold a grudge against anyone is like carrying the devil on your shoulders. It is our willingness to forgive and forget that casts away such a burden and brings light into our hearts, freeing us from many ill feelings against our fellow human beings. Sydney Banks It is surely better to pardon too much than to condemn too much. George Eliot

Forgiveness is an act of love. As I forgive, I release negative energy that
may manifest as resentment or anger. I open the way for something positive
to happen. If I feel wronged or annoyed, I release the impulse to judge. The
lines of communication remain open, and understanding flows freely. Relationships
with family, friends and colleagues flourish when I act with compassion and
easily forgive. I relate to others in harmonious ways. I exercise the same
forgiving attitude toward myself. If I have erred, I learn from it and move on.
I draw from the reservoir of God's love within me to give and receive forgiveness.

unattributed (the Daily Word)

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To understand is not only to pardon,
but in the end to love.

Walter Lippmann

The weak can never forgive.
Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

Mohandas Ghandi

When I feel betrayed by someone, instead of sulking, clinging
to my resentment and playing the role of victim, I am challenged
to strengthen my soul through forgiveness. By forgiving the
person who hurt me, I strengthen my soul. . . . each time we
are called upon to forgive, we nourish our souls and learn more
about who we are and what we have to share in this world. This
is also an example of unconditional love.

John Gray

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of
throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

the Buddha

Resentment is the number one offender. It destroys more alcoholics
than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for
we have been not only mentally and physically ill,
we have been spiritually sick.

Alcoholics Anonymous

To be angry about trifles is mean and childish; to rage and be furious
is brutish; and to maintain perpetual wrath is akin to the practice
and temper of devils; but to prevent and suppress rising
resentment is wise and glorious, is manly and divine.

Isaac Watts

The moment an individual can accept and forgive him or herself, even a little,
is the moment in which he or she becomes to some degree lovable.

Eugene Kennedy

Those that cannot forgive others break the bridge over which they
must pass themselves; for every person has need to be forgiven.

Thomas Fuller

Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other
person apologize or change. Don't worry about whether or not
they finally understand you. Love them and release them.
Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.

Sara Paddison

I come from a background in which anger and resentment were rather normal. It wasn't that the people in my life liked being angry and resentful--they just hadn't learned how to deal with their feelings in other ways. Because of this background, though, it took me many years during my young adulthood to unlearn this pattern, to realize that such thoughts were not only negative, but also harmful.

One of the most important accomplishments in my life has been to learn how to forgive. I don't always do so quickly enough to save myself a few miserable days, but I have learned to view people's actions in a much more objective light, taking them much less personally. Usually I see behavior that affects me negatively as a reflection of bad things that are going on in other people's lives, and this helps me to forgive much more easily. Did that guy cut me off in traffic? Maybe he's in a hurry because someone's sick. Did that person talk about me behind my back? Well, maybe she's feeling insecure about herself, and she has to knock someone down to make herself feel better. Her words don't change who I am.

Being able to see things this way has almost no effect at all on the other people involved in any situation, but it does have a strong effect on me: I'm able to feel more peaceful, more relaxed, and more able to help others. I feel that things are okay apart from this one small aspect of my life, and my forgiveness helps me to realize the relative insignificance of this aspect. I'm not here on this planet to control other people and have them ask for forgiveness when I feel they should do so--the only person's actions and thoughts over which I have any sort of control are my own, and I can forgive if I choose to do so, knowing that doing so helps me.

There's a common misconception that forgiving someone implies that the action that's being forgiven was okay, but I always keep in mind that I'm forgiving the person, not the action. Hurting other people is always wrong, but we all make mistakes and hurt others. I'm very thankful that some people in life have forgiven me for some of my actions, so why shouldn't i show the same courtesy to others? Forgiving doesn't make wrong right or take away responsibility-- forgiveness just says it's not up to me to judge, and I'm not going to hold a grudge against you just because you made a mistake.

tom walsh

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I can have peace of mind only when
I forgive rather than judge.

Gerald Jampolsky

Forgiving those who hurt us is
the key to personal peace.

G. Weatherly

Keeping score of old scores and scars, getting even
and one-upping, always make you less than you are.

Malcolm Forbes

Forgiveness requires more than words. Words are meaningless
unless they are consistent with life actions. You may say you
have forgiven someone, but if you avoid them, grow angry when
you are with them, or allow chaos to be part of your relationship,
forgiveness is not in your heart. People read forgiveness in
attitudes and responses. Through your actions, you can tell
others you have accepted God's love and forgiven the hurts of your life.

Elizabeth B. Brown

The practice of forgiveness is our most important
contribution to the healing of the world.

Marianne Williamson

The vital importance of forgiveness may not be obvious at first sight, but you may be sure
that it is not by chance that every great spiritual teacher from Jesus Christ onward
has insisted so strongly upon it. You must forgive injuries, not just in words, or as a matter
of form, but in your heart -- and that is the long and the short of it. You do this, not for
the other person's sake, but for your own sake. Resentment, condemnation, anger, desire
to see someone punished are things that rot your soul. Such things fasten your troubles
to you with rivets. They fetter you to many other problems that actually have nothing
to do with the original grievances themselves.

Emmet Fox

     Ruby stepped toward him. "Edward," she said softly. It was
the first time she had called him by name. "Learn this from me.
Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that
hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us.
But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves.
     "Forgive, Edward. Forgive. Do you remember the lightness
you felt when you first arrived in heaven?"
     Eddie did. Where is my pain?
     "That's because no one is born with anger. And when we die,
the soul is freed of it. But now, here, in order to move on, you must
understand why you felt what you did, and why you no longer need to feel it."
     She touched his hand.
     "You need to forgive your father."

Mitch Albom
from The Five People You Meet in Heaven

The process of forgiveness—indeed, the chief reason for forgiveness—is selfish.
The reason to forgive others is not for their sake. They are not likely to know
that they need to be forgiven. They’re not likely to remember their offense.
They are likely to say, “You just made it up.” They may even be dead. The reason
to forgive is for our own sake. For our own health. Because beyond that point needed
for healing, if we hold on to our anger, we stop growing and our souls begin to shrivel.

M. Scott Peck

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

Two friends were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument and one friend slapped the other one in the face.

The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand: "Today my best friend slapped me in the face."

They kept on walking, until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him.

After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone: "Today my best friend saved my life."

The friend who had slapped and saved his best friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone. Why?"

The other friend replied, "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

Know that compassion for others begins with being able
to accept and forgive yourself. As long as you judge
others for their imperfections, you will never be able
to truly accept and love yourself.

Susan Santucci

forgiveness

Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.

William Arthur Ward

We prayed so that all bitterness could be taken from us and we could
start the life for our people again without hatred. We knew out of our
own suffering that life cannot begin for the better except by us all
forgiving one another. For if one does not forgive, one does not
understand; and if one does not understand, one is afraid; and if
one is afraid, one hates; and if one hates, one cannot love. And
no new beginning on earth is possible without love. . . .
The first step towards this love then must be forgiveness.

Laurens van der Post

Articles and book excerpts on forgiveness:

The Art of Forgiveness      Wilferd A. Peterson
Forgiveness      Wayne Dyer
Letting Go      Morrie Schwartz
Produce a Quantum Leap in Your Life Fast      Asoka Selvarajah

Those who cannot forgive break the bridge over which they themselves must pass.

George Herbert

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.

Paul Boese

Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.

unattributed

Forgiveness is a perfectly selfish act. It sets you free from the past.

Brian Tracy

Every situation is ultimately a lesson in forgiveness. Forgiveness is our decision to see the love that is real in all of us, despite whatever appearances to the contrary there are. Fear melts away when we refuse to affirm its ultimate reality. When we see beyond fear, it dissolves. I no longer blame you because I don't believe the part of you that acted is who you really are. I relate instead to your innocence, to the angel within you, which remains, no matter what you do. That is the power of forgiveness: to call forth a higher reality by acknowledging a higher reality.

Marianne Williamson

The process of making sense of our wounds is a very personal one. But a common theme in wound healing is the universal need to forgive. If we don't forgive ourselves for our mistakes, and others for the wounds they have inflicted upon us, we end up crippled with guilt. And the soul cannot grow under a blanket of guilt, because guilt is isolating, while growth is a gradual process of reconnection to our selves, to other people, and to a larger whole.

Joan Borysenko

Forgiveness can be a powerful healing agent. Forgiveness is a process
of giving up the false for the true, erasing error from mind and body and
life. Forgive yourself. Forgive others. Forgive everything! Forgiveness
sometimes involves a flight of imagination--being able to understand the
influences that may have shaped your oppressor's behavior. If we seek
to understand, to the best of our ability, where another person may be
coming from, observe what situations may be prevalent in his or her life,
and put forth the effort to "walk a mile in his or her shoes," we may be
less quick to take offense at what may be directed toward us. Once you
can comprehend the dynamics behind the abuse, you may be more ready
to forgive. And old African proverb says, "one who forgives ends the
quarrel." Are you willing to be the instigator of such a positive action?

John Marks Templeton
Worldwide Laws of Life

Learning to forgive is much more useful than merely picking up
a stone and throwing it at the object of one's anger; the more so
when the provocation is extreme. For it is under the greatest
adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good,
both for yourself and others.

The Dalai Lama

Forgiveness of others' injuries stamps our spirituality as genuine
and authentic. Not to be forgiving reduces our spirituality to
a merely human imitation of the real thing.

Joseph F. Girzone
Never Alone

Love means to love that which is unlovable, or it is no virtue
at all; forgiving means to pardon that which is
unpardonable, or it is no virtue at all.

G.K. Chesterton

Forgiving and forgetting are often paired together, but the one certainly doesn't necessarily follow the other. Some injuries, real or imagined, we may never be able to forget, even though we way we've forgiven them. Other injuries we may never even be able to say that we forgive. Those are the ones, it seems to me, most likely to involve people we've loved, and so I'm inclined to look at what our experiences of forgiveness may have been like from the first people who loved us.
The first time we required forgiveness, we probably did something we shouldn't have when our closest grown-ups thought we should have known better. We made someone angry. We were to blame. What did the first brush with blame begin to teach us?
If we were fortunate, we began to learn that "to err is human." Even good people sometimes do bad things. Errors might mean corrections, apologies, repairs, but they didn't mean that we, as a person, were a bad person in the sight of those we loved. The second thing we learned (if we were fortunate) was that having someone we loved get mad at us did not mean that person had stopped loving us; we had their unconditional love, and that meant we would have their forgiveness, too.

Fred Rogers
The World According to Mr. Rogers

Forgiveness should be an ongoing process. Attention to it daily will
ease our relationships with others and encourage greater self-love.
First on our list for forgiveness should be ourselves. Daily, we heap
recriminations upon ourselves. And our lack of self-love hinders our
ability to love others, which in turn affects our treatment of them. We've
come full circle--and forgiveness is in order. It can free us. It will
change our perceptions of life's events, and it promises greater happiness.

Karen Casey
Each Day a New Beginning

The forgiving state of mind is a magnetic power for attracting good.
No good thing can be withheld from the forgiving state of mind.

Catherine Ponder

To be able to forgive, we must come down from the citadel of pride, from
the stronghold of hate and anger, from the high place where all emotions that
issue from one's sense of being wronged shout only for vengeance and retaliation.

John Hess

Forgiveness is a strange thing. It can sometimes be easier to forgive our
enemies than our friends. It can be hardest of all to forgive people we love.
Like all of life's important coping skills, the ability to forgive and the
capacity to let go of resentments most likely take root very early in our lives.

Fred Rogers
The World According to Mr. Rogers

There is only one thing evil cannot stand and that is forgiveness.

William F. Orr