Good
morning, and welcome to May! Our newest month
is now upon us,
and it will be full of opportunities for us to make
our lives something
extraordinary, even if we do so only in the small,
seemingly
unimportant
ways that make up the bulk of our lives.
Please make your month extraordinary!
It
is a pity that the words "spiritual life" were ever
invented,
for they have caused so much confusion. For, in truth, there
is
only life--everyday life--which is simply what is at every moment.
-
Robert
Powell
Uncertainty
and mystery are energies of life.
Don't let them scare you unduly,
for they
keep boredom at bay and spark creativity.
-
R.I.
Fitzhenry
Life
is learning which rules to obey,
which rules not to obey, and
the wisdom
to tell the difference between the two. -
unattributed
Life
is a moment-to-moment happening;
any attempt to possess it, save it,
or
store it, is to lose the present moment. -
A
Spiritual Warrior
We put labels on life all the time.
"Right," "wrong," "success,"
"failure," "lucky,"
"unlucky," may be as limiting a way of seeing
things as "diabetic," "epileptic,"
"manic-depressive," or even
"invalid." Labeling sets up an expectation
of life that is often so compelling we can no longer see
things as they really are. This expectation often
gives us a false sense of familiarity toward something
that is really new and unprecedented. We are in
relationship with our expectations and not with life
itself.
Which brings up the idea that we may become as wounded by
the way in which we see an illness as by the illness
itself. Belief traps or frees us. Labels may
become self-fulfilling prophecies. Studies of voodoo
death suggest that in certain circumstances belief may
even kill.
We may need to take our labels and even our experts far
more lightly. Some years ago I served on the
dissertation committee of a woman in the Midwest, who was
studying spontaneous remission of cancer. Among the
people who answered her ad in the paper asking for people
who thought they may have had an unusual experience of
healing was a farmer who had done exceptionally well
despite a dire prognosis.
On
the phone one evening, she told me about him. She
felt his outcome was related to his attitude.
"He didn't take it on," she said.
Confused, I asked her if he had denied that he had
cancer. No, she said, he had not. He had just
taken the same attitude toward his physician's prognosis
that he took towards the words of the government soil
experts who analyzed his fields. As they were
educated men, he respected them and listened carefully as
they showed him the findings of their tests and told him
that the corn would not grow in this field. He
valued their opinions. But, as he told my student,
"A lot of the time the corn grows anyway."
In my experience, a diagnosis is an opinion and not a
prediction. What would it be like if more people
allowed for the presence of the unknown, and accepted the
words of their medical experts in this same way? The
diagnosis is cancer. What that will mean remains to
be seen.
Like a diagnosis, a label is an attempt to assert control
and manage uncertainty. It may allow us the security
and comfort of a mental closure and encourage us not to
think about things again. But life never comes to a
closure; life is process, even mystery. Life is
known only by those who have found a way to be comfortable
with change and the unknown. Given the nature of
life, there may be no security, but only adventure.
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I must
have been about 14 then, and I dismissed the incident
with the easy carelessness of youth. But the words
Carl Walter spoke that day came back to me years later,
and ever since have been of inestimable value to me.
Carl
Walter was my piano teacher. During one of my
lessons he asked how much practicing I was doing.
I said three or four hours a day.
"Do
you practice in long stretches, an hour at a time?"
"I
try to."
"Well,
don't!" he exclaimed. "When you grow up,
time won't come in long stretches. Practice in
minutes, whenever you can find them--five or ten before
school, after lunch, between chores. Spread the
practice through the day, and piano-playing will become
a part of your life."
When I
was teaching at Columbia, I wanted to write, but
recitations, theme-reading and committee meetings filled
my days and evenings. For two years I got
practically nothing down on paper, and my excuse was
that I had no time. Then I recalled what Carl
Walter had said.
During
the next week I conducted an experiment. Whenever
I had five unoccupied minutes, I sat down and wrote a
hundred words or so. To my astonishment, at the
end of the week I had a sizable manuscript ready for
revision.
Later
on I wrote novels by the same piecemeal method.
Though my teaching schedule had become heavier than
ever, in every day there were idle moments which could
be caught and put to use. I even took up
piano-playing again, finding that the small intervals of
the day provided sufficient time for both writing and
piano practice.
There
is an important trick in thins time-using formula:
you must get into your work quickly. If you have
but five minutes for writing, you can't afford to waste
four chewing your pencil. You must make your
mental preparations beforehand, and concentrate on your
task almost instantly when the time comes.
Fortunately, rapid concentration is easier than most of
us realize.
I
confess I have never learned how to let go easily at the
end of the five or ten minutes. But life can be
counted on to supply interruptions. Carl Walter
has had a tremendous influence on my life. To him
I owe the discovery that even very short periods of time
add up to all the useful hours I need, if I plunge in
without delay.
1941
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
Why aren't people more
successful? Because most people do not select
and pursue a vision without
regard for other objectives. Most people shift
from one activity to
another without any focused or directed purpose,
naively assuming that things
will take care of themselves or will be
taken care of by others. George
Bernard Shaw said, "The people who
get on in this world are the people who
get up and look for the
circumstances they want, and if they can't find them,
make them."
It's important that every now and then, we take stock of just what
we have in life, just what kinds of benefits and blessings that we
have in our lives. Whether they be material, emotional,
spiritual, financial, or based on gifts such as talents and
abilities, we all have wealth in our lives. The wealth that
we've been given, of course, is meant for us to share with
others--we are here on this planet to benefit other people, to
share our love and our blessings with whomever we can while we're
here for this very short time.
A half a decade ago, I decided to start teaching in our public
school systems because I knew that two of my strongest gifts were
knowledge and the ability to teach, and I felt that it was
important to use those gifts in the most effective way
possible. While I thought I was doing a pretty good job at
the college I was at, the work that I was doing there was
benefiting a relative few people, and I knew there was a great
need for public school teachers, and not as much of a need for
college teachers.
It's not something I would recommend for everyone. The
switch has not come without its share of difficulties and setbacks
and frustrations. But since I consider obstacles to be an
important part of life--invaluable learning experiences,
actually--those hardships haven't been too hard to get
through. And they've been necessary, actually, for me to be
able to share the wealth that I've been given in life.
I wouldn't suggest that anyone purposely take on huge hardships in
order to spread their wealth. I wouldn't suggest that anyone
give away their last dollar when they have no food in the
house. But I do know that the benefits of sharing what we
have are amazing, and that only when we do give to others can we
get that satisfied and fulfilled feeling inside that tells us that
we're actually contributing to this world in a positive way.
For many people, a lack of such a feeling is the source of
feelings of despair and hopelessness, and banishing such feelings
is extremely important if we hope to be happy while we're here.
Sharing the wealth is very easy. I can share the wealth by
volunteering my time to help others fill a need (I do this by
teaching free classes to people in our community who need
them). I can share it by sharing the food I have with others
who don't have as much. I can give encouragement, I can drop
my change into the jar at the supermarket, I can give a smile, I
can go through my closet and pass on the clothes that I don't wear
any longer, I can buy a couple extra bags of groceries for the
food bank (after finding out what they can use, of course!), I can
spend time reading to a young person or a very old person, I can
help with the annual cleanup at the river park, I can spend time
listening--without giving any advice--to someone who needs to be
heard.
Wealth isn't about money or goods. Those are forms of
wealth, of course, but wealth means so much more. And in
order to share our wealth, it's necessary for us to recognize and
acknowledge what we have, first of all. Do we have our
health? Then we can participate in a walk or run for
charity. Do we have lots of money? Then we can share
it with others who are in need. Do we have great
patience? Then we can take on a task that demands great
patience. Are we good with kids? Then we can watch the
neighbors' kids while they do something they need to do, or we can
volunteer time at the local elementary school.
Wealth is useless unless we use it. Many rich people are
incredibly lonely, with deep feelings of isolation and lack of
purpose. Many talented people are frustrated that they
haven't "made it big," while ignoring opportunities to
share their wealth in more personal venues. Many writers
feel frustrated that they haven't been able to be published, while
the vast Internet out there awaits their contributions to other
people's lives. What are your talents, abilities, and
possessions? How can you share the wealth with which you've
been blessed, thus making your life much more fulfilling and
interesting and uplifting? You can have a positive effect on
others, but you do need to be willing to share to do so.
There
are things that we
never want to let go
of, people we
never want
to leave behind.
But keep in mind that
letting go isn’t the end
of the world; it’s the
beginning of a new life.
Sooner
or later people, if they are wise, discover that life is a
mixture of good days and bad, victory and defeat, give and
take.
They
learn that a person's size is often measured by the size of
the thing it takes to get his or her goat. . . . that the
conquest of petty irritations is vital to his or her
success.
They
learn that they who lose their temper usually lose.
They
learn that carrying a chip on their shoulder is the quickest
way to get into a fight.
They
learn that buck-passing acts as a boomerang.
They
learn that carrying tales and gossip about others is the
easiest way to become unpopular.
They
learn that everyone is human and that they can help to make
the day happier for others by smiling and saying "Good
morning!"
They
learn that giving others a mental lift by showing
appreciation and praise is the best way to lift their own
spirits.
They
learn that the world will not end when they fail or make an
error; that there is always another day and another chance.
They
learn that listening is frequently more important than
talking, and that they can often make a friend by letting
other people tell their troubles.
They
learn that all people have burnt toast for breakfast now and
then and that they shouldn't let their grumbling get them
down.
They
learn that people are not any more difficult to get along
with in one place than another and that "getting
along" depends about ninety-eight percent on their own
behavior.
To
let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore.
It doesn't
leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting
go isn't about
winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not
about how you
appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the
past. Letting go
isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and it
doesn't leave
emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in
or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat.
To let go is
to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on.
It is having
an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go
is learning
and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be
thankful for the
experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you
grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that
you will
soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept
change,
and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing
up. It is
realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent
remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself
free.
unattributed
Whatever
it is probably won't go away, so we might as well
live and laugh
through it. When we double over laughing,
we're bending so we won't break.
If you think your particular
troubles are too heavy and too traumatic to
laugh about,
remember that laughing is like changing a baby's diaper.
It doesn't solve any problems permanently, but it
makes
things more acceptable for awhile.
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
