Hello!
We all have another week behind us, and another week
ahead of us.
The time behind us is time from which we can learn,
and the time ahead of
us is the time when we can apply the lessons, and
keep on learning--
about life, living, love and compassion.
Flowers
do not force their way with great strife. Flowers
open
to perfection slowly in the sun. Don't be in a
hurry about
spiritual matters. Go step by step, and
be very sure. -
White
Eagle
Those
who know how to play can easily leap over the adversities of
life. And one who knows how to sing and laugh never brews mischief.
-
Iglulik
Proverb
Both
the person of science and the person of action live
always at the edge of mystery, surrounded by it.
-
J.
Robert Oppenheimer
Miracles are not in contradiction to
nature. They are only
in contradiction
with what we
know of nature. -
St. Augustine
Sometimes you may be tempted to think that life
seems to be one big muddle and doesn't make any
sense at all. Well, there may be a good
reason for thinking that way! Let's look
at an analogy. We could be very much like
one who goes to the theater after the curtain
has gone up and the play has been in progress
for some time. The latecomer has no
knowledge of the beginning of the story, nor any
idea of what the ending may be. The script
may not make sense, and the person may feel
confused regarding the plot of the story.
Similarly, in the drama of life, we may not
always know or understand the plot.
Sometimes the script seems pointless. We
may fail to grasp the grand scope of the
universal dramas in which we may be
participating. At that point, there could
be an attempt to blame the "director,"
the "producer," perhaps even the
playwright, for the situation. However, in
the universal drama of life, there are no
"bit players." And there is no
one to blame! Life can seem less of a
muddle if we read the script correctly and
become aware that we have unique qualities and
can bring gifts to the "show" that no
one else can give.
Perhaps you've heard the expression, "the
buck stops here." This saying is
cousin to another one that is quite commonly
used in the United States, "passing the
buck."
When a
person is accused of passing the buck, he or she may be
said to be avoiding responsibility and passing it on to
someone else. When someone says, "The buck
stops here," that person implies that he or she will
handle the matter him- or herself and take full
responsibility for the outcome. Which one of these
expressions do you find yourself in the habit of using?
You may know of someone at this moment of your life who
may be rebelling against unfairness of one sort or
another. Perhaps you, yourself, may be choosing to
be antagonistic? Many people throughout history have
chosen to rebel against their government or their society
in order to bring about a higher purpose. Some may
have understood that the cost of their rebellion could be
their very lives; yet, they consented to pay the
price. These people have often assisted in making
great changes for the benefit of the people.
If a student chooses to rebel against his or her parents,
for example, and as a result finds him- or herself without
a place to live or without any money for college, that
student must be willing to accept this as the cost of the
rebellion. Likewise, it makes no sense to complain
if our employer cuts our pay when we have failed to do the
work we agreed to do. In that situation, we have
received what we have deserved, and we should learn to
accept it without protest.
One time at a country fair, a farmer exhibited a pumpkin
grown in the exact shape of a two-gallon jug.
"When it was no bigger than my thumb," he said,
"I stuck it in the jug and just let it grow.
When it filled the jug, it stopped growing."
What the glass jug did for the pumpkin, our thoughts do
for our lives. We may grow as big, as mature, and
become as creative as the things we think about and
believe in. But we stop growing at the limit of our
thoughts.
One of the first things we need to do is to banish the
thoughts that say the control of our life is held by
another. We have a built-in control tower called the
faculty of free will, and nothing can move into our minds
unless we are willing to place the "stamp of
approval" on the delivery.
The law of responsibility applies in every area of our
lives. For example, if we choose to abuse our bodies
with drugs or alcohol, it become imperative that we know
the cost of this decision. We must ask ourselves if
the drugs and alcohol are worth the cost in sickness and
wasted time.
One may ask the question, "How can I take control
over my life when I am faced with such inner turmoil and
confusion and my problems are so large?" One
thing we can do at once is take the same thought energy we
have expressed in "how can I take control?" and
turn it around into the thought, "I am one with the
wisdom of God; I know what to do, and I do it!"
One of the best ways to exhibit the self-control that
leads to success is to know that faith, not fear; love,
not hate; joy, not sorrow; peace, not tension; freedom,
not bondage are the role we choose to play.
Whatever we choose in terms of our behavior in this life,
we will be much better off if we can truly say, "The
buck stops here. I am willing to pay the price for
my decision. I am willing to accept the consequences
of my actions."
Little
yellow house sittin' on a hill
That is where he lived
That is where he died
Every Sunday morning
Hear the weeping willows cry
Two children born
A beautiful wife
Four walls and livin's all he needed in life
Always giving, never asking back
I wish I had a simple love like that
I want a simple love like that
Always giving, never askin' back
For when I'm in my final hour lookin' back
I hope I had a simple love like that
My momma was his only little girl
If he'd had the money he'd have given her the world
Sittin' on the front porch together they would sing
Oh how I long to hear that harmony
I want a simple love like that
Always giving never asking back
When I'm in my final hour looking back
I hope I had a simple love like that
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Years after college my beloved physics professor,
Sheridan Simon, told me that the bane of his existence
was delivering a simply beautiful lecture on the
physics of black holes or quantum mechanics, then
opening the floor to questions knowing he had done
some of his best work, only to have the student in the
second row raise his hand and ask, "Will this be
on the test?"
Voltaire has said, "Judge a man by his questions
rather than by his answers." Why are we
learning anything in life? To satiate our own
curiosity or because it will be on the test?
This is a vital distinction--not only for students,
but also for business executives and parents and all
the rest of us. The pursuit of knowing--and,
more important, of not knowing--this is
curiosity. And curiosity keeps us alive, pure
and simple.
Honest inquiry. Honest inquiry is the pursuit of
great, fantastic, compelling questions posed for one
reason: to explore. Not to pass the test,
but to explore. What a planet we live on!
Where do rivers go? Is there a cloud
factory? How do birds know when to go, and when
to come back? Why is Justin Bieber famous?
From where does racism come?
How can we remain curious? As Bernard Baruch
said, "Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton
asked why." How can we recapture the holy
curiosity of our childhood in which "why"
was our way of being in the world? Here are a
few ways:
Play backup. A few years ago I was asked to give
a keynote talk at a conference in Melbourne,
Australia. A brilliant man named Charles
Hampden-Turner (who eventually became my intellectual
mentor and who, at the time, had written something
like twenty books) was the opening speaker at the
conference; I was the closing speaker. The very
thought of meeting him and being near him--much less
give a speech in front of him--made me very
nervous. During the conference, in addition to
my keynote, I was also to give a workshop. Who
should show up but Charles Hampden-Turner, to listen
and to learn. What on earth could I possibly say
that would be of interest to this amazing
intellect? It didn't matter. What mattered
was that he came and he listened and he laughed and
participated. He played backup, not leading
man. I have watched him do it repeatedly since
then. This is the mark of curiosity, the showing
up, the willingness, the spongelike quality even in
someone who has much to teach others.
Never be bored. Really? You're
bored? Because you've already read every book,
talked to every person in your universe about what
they love to think about, and you know exactly how ice
crystals form and how planes stay up in the sky?
Wow. Albert Einstein tells us, "The
important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing. . . Never
lose a holy curiosity." What is your reason
for boredom? That the world isn't entertaining
enough for you? Or that it has not focused its
considerable appeal on you, specifically and totally
you? Boredom is for the selfish. Don't go
there.
Focus on ideas. "Be less curious about
people and more curious about ideas," advised
Marie Curie. What makes up the bulk of your
dinnertime conversation: people, events, or
ideas? Move in the direction of ideas.
Seek disequilibrium. Learning involved
discomfort. More often than not, it involves the
discomfort of not knowing. We're trained to
know. As Einstein said, it's a miracle curiosity
survives formal education, so deeply engrained is the
goal to have the right answer. But
learning--real learning--involves not knowing.
As Marie Curie has also said (smart woman!), "Dyssymmetry
causes phenomena." Things don't happen
until they are thrown off balance. How can you
throw yourself off balance? Alter your daily
routine: When you go to the movies, are you an
aisle-seat-in-the-back sitter? Sit middle front
to alter your perspective. Enroll in a class
about which you know nothing, exactly nothing, not the
one that will be a breeze. Read magazines you'd
never pick up. Seek opportunities for
disequilibrium rather than running from them.
Listen to children. Never interrupt a
child. Never lose patience with their endless
series of questions. Find opportunities to hear
a child's perspective on anything, everything.
Here are a few examples of the questions Tess asks us
daily: "If the world was disinvented, where
would we be?" and "What was the first word
ever spoken?" Children teach us, if we
don't ignore them or shut them down because we falsely
believe we know better.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
Step into this moment, because it is the only one
you have right now.
It
is not
wasted or thrown away.The divine opportunity could be
stolen unless you tell
yourself it is here right now; available to you
this moment,
to make of it anything
you choose.Why not choose this
moment, right now, to be available
to
yourself by declaring, I AM
GOOD! . . . . The richness of
the present is here. The
fullness of now
is present.If you are not here now, it means you could be
missing
the love, joy, peaceand brand-new ideas that are here right now.
One
of the most difficult lessons that I've had to learn
is that things aren't always what I think they
are. After all, we're told to trust our senses
and trust our instincts, and if something isn't what
we originally think it is, that means we must have
been--gasp!--wrong! And we simply don't like
being wrong, do we?
What things seem to be, though, is almost always the
result of judgment--on our part, on the part of
someone else, or even as socially accepted
norms. That person is smart, dumb, arrogant,
humble, charming, boorish, or anything else because
we see them and listen to them and we make judgments
based on what we hear. She says something that
we've heard from someone else that we've judged to
be witty, so we put her into that category. We
watch her do something we don't approve of, so we
put her into the category of people who we think do
that sort of thing.
It works with objects and other things, too.
We see a trail that goes into a forest, and we're
attracted to it because our experience with trails
going into forests has been very positive. Or
we want to avoid that trail because the last time we
went on a trail through a forest, we had a very
unpleasant experience with a bear or with weather,
or we turned our ankle and associate such trails
with pain. I do judge restaurants on their
appearance without ever tasting the food there, just
as I judge people without ever having a deep
conversation with them and I often judge students
based on the work that they do (or don't do) rather
than who they are as people.
The bottom line, to me, is that my thoughts about
who or what a person is often are biased based on
initial perceptions. Some of the kindest
people I've ever met have started out seeming gruff
and rude; some of the best paths I've ever run on
have been ones that I thought would be awful because
of what I've seen or because of what other people
have told me about them. I haven't wanted to
take certain classes because of what others have
told me about the teachers, only to find that the
class and the teacher both were wonderful.
One thing that I try to do is remind myself
constantly just why I think a certain way about a
certain thing before I allow myself to stick with a
judgment. Do I think this person is nice
because my wife or a friend told me that she
is? Perhaps I should find out for
myself. Am I concerned about this student
because another teacher has told me that he's hard
to deal with in class? Maybe if I treat him
differently than the other teacher did, I'll have
different experiences with him. Am I avoiding
that store because it looks dirty and
disorganized? I can't really say it's a bad
store until I actually go inside and see what
they're selling and what their prices are, can I?
Life seems constantly difficult to some people, and
constantly wonderful to others. Can we judge
life as unpleasant if we continue to do a job we
don't like and live in a house we're not pleased
with, with people who bring us down? If life
seems to be a certain way, then we need to actively
consider just why it seems that way to us.
Once we understand the origin of our perspective,
we'll have the ability to make changes to the things
that make it that way.
Of course, if we find life to be wonderful, do we
really need to consider why we see life that
way? After all, there must not be much that we
really need to change if we see life in very
positive ways, right? This is true, but I
still find it important to know why I find life to
be a great experience--it has to do with being
mindful and being able to share our perspective with
others. After all, if someone is complaining
about life and telling us about all the awful things
that they see in life, we're not going to be able to
possibly help them out by sharing a different
perspective if we're not quite sure what our
perspective is based on, are we?
Some people's obstacles are another person's
challenges that help them grow. Some people's
unpleasant experiences are someone else's uplifting
moments. I've done some of the best runs and
walks of my life in heavy rain, spending an hour or
more just getting wet and enjoying every moment of
it. I know people who won't set foot outside
if it's raining hard because they see getting wet as
something very negative. Some people's rude
neighbors are other people's friendly neighbors, and
a lot of that has to do with how we treat those
neighbors to begin with.
We do have to acknowledge that sometimes our
judgments are right on. I work with someone
who acts very nice and friendly to most other
people, but who also rather constantly makes rude
and derogatory comments to and about others.
Over time, I've come to the conclusion that he's not
someone who's going to be a positive part of my
life. When I ask myself why I think that way,
though, I can recall plenty of evidence that
supports that perspective, so I know that it's not
just my judgment that's causing me to feel that way
about him.
When all is said and done, I've learned that what
something or someone seems to be has more to do with
me than with what that person or thing actually
is. It has more to do with my perspective and
my judgments than it has to do with the other's
qualities, words, or actions. It has to do
with my past experiences in similar situations than
it has to do with my current experiences. And
it's really important to me to step back and ask
myself, "Why do I see this in this
way?" Only then can I be sure that I'm at
least trying to be fair in my judgment, and
trying to make sure that I'm not seeing something or
someone in negative ways when they're actually
positive, or in positive ways when they're actually
negative.
If this person seems unpleasant for whatever reason,
it's often important that I try to verify or refute
that idea. If this job seems impossible, it's
important that I look at it in a different way to
see if it may be possible after all. If this
person seems nice and trustworthy but my instincts
are telling me something different, perhaps I need
to trust my instincts when they tell me that he may
not be so nice and trustworthy after all. Our
gut feelings are so often right about such things
that we really should trust them from time to time,
because our instincts seem to feel beyond the
surface, while our logic very often gets fooled by
appearances.
The person who has done his or her level
best is a success,
even though the world may write him or her down as a failure.
B.C. Forbes
In his book You'll
See It When You Believe It, Dr. Wayne Dyer offers some
interesting and helpful suggestions for personal
transformation. A synopsis of these suggestions is shared
here for your reflection.
* Practice thinking about yourself and others in formless
ways. Take a few moments each day to evaluate yourself. .
. in terms of pure thought and feeling. Watch yourself
acting and interacting. Do not criticize or judge, simply
note how your form is behaving and how it is feeling.
* Use the observer exercise (mentioned above) with other
people. Notice how they may destroy their potential for
happiness and success because they identify exclusively with
their forms.
* Make an effort to go beyond your comfort zone on a regular
basis. Listen to the real you inside who is encouraging
you to transcend yourself.
* Make an effort to cease labeling yourself as a means of
identifying who you are as a human being.
* Begin to view your mind, your nonform side, as new and
miraculous. Know that your mind is capable of transcending
your form and that your body is in a larger part controlled by
your mind.
*Work each day to clear yourself of the two factors that do the
most to inhibit your personal transformation: negativity
and judgment.
*Examine how you treat the physical or visible you.
* Allow yourself time to meditate quietly by yourself.
Meditation is a powerful tool, and it is as simple as
breathing. You should choose your own style of meditation.
* Above all else, be kind and understanding to yourself.
Be especially kind to yourself if you behave in a way you
dislike. Talk kindly to yourself. Be patient with
yourself when you find it difficult to be a "holy"
person. . . . Forgive yourself.
The
Arrow and the Song
I
shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly as it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I
breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long,
long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.
Henry
Wadsworth Longfellow
Play is part of being human, yet it remains an elusive
part of many people's lives. Studies have proven
play is a major factor in the appropriate development
of social, emotional, mental, and physical growth for
children. But what happens when we stop playing
as adults? Are we stunting our own growth?
Why do humans play? Is it a requirement of
survival like breathing, eating, and sleeping?
Play introduces the concept of "balance" in
a busy life; it encourages people to seek
solitude in nature and allocate time for daily
laughs. Humor is needed to reaffirm our humanity
and sanity. Laughter releases tension and
stress, and builds rapport among those it
touches. It is through our play that we are
reintroduced to both once again.
In this time spent developing, challenging, and
nurturing the authentic self, the promise of
play--happiness--will be found.
Play encourages interaction, risk-taking, and the use
of imagination. Abstract thinking and creativity
are explored, and social, language, and mental skills
are mastered, as self-worth is strengthened. The
value of dedication and practice is also
learned. As such competencies are developed,
these skills cross over to other aspects of life.
Based
on these inherent benefits of play, recess should be
reinstated for those over the age of ten. Until that
day--why not decide to make play a frequent event in your
life and add an hour or two of active play and creative
expression to each week? It may seem like child's
play at first, but once the magic starts, there will be no
question that this is what your spirit needs.
Genuine play occurs when you lose sight of yourself and
your life for the moment. You are totally immersed
in whatever physical or creative activity with no
awareness of the passing of time. You are truly
awake and alive. For some people, play may be more
physical. For others, it is a creative outlet for
expression. However, both types of play can satisfy
our basic need for curiosity, exploration, and fun.
In the choice for a long and healthy life, playing is not
just an option, but also a natural element of each
day. Moving the body is as crucial as eating and
sleeping. It is a proven fact that increased
physical activity--a hike, jog, or a round of
tennis--results in increased "smarts."
Physical activity is an essential part of long-term
health. As play is added to your days, you will
begin to see that the amount of time spent playing is in
direct correlation with the amount of energy you
have. Your newfound interest will also keep mood
swings in check, help manage stress, and build a stronger
immune system.
Play is so good for our bodies. No matter your size,
shape, weight, or height, adding play to your life will
improve your self-image. When we become too busy to
play, we fall prey to diet fads or bad habits like
smoking. Playing hard and eating well will do
wonders not only for your temperament, but for your body,
too. . . .
The biggest tragedy facing us today is. . . the missing
awareness of the mind-body connection. This is why
play, through both active and creative expression, is so
important. Play is meant to draw us closer to our
own reflection, to see what is really inside our
complicated yet beautiful selves. The desire to
move, the desire to create, is and should be a required
element of every person's day. It is the truth
behind what makes us who we are.
Be yourself. Be your complete and authentic
self--not what you think others want you to be or what
society pressures us to be. Express yourself with
your body and your mind by being you, the person who you
are supposed to be. Use your time, energy, and money
not on dieting, but on passionate living achieved by
body-moving activities and mind-engaging interests.
The
great affair, the love affair with life, is to live as variously
as possible,
to groom one's curiosity like a high-spirited thoroughbred, climb
aboard,
and gallop over the thick, sunstruck hills every day. . . . It
began as mystery,
and it will end in mystery, but what a savage and beautiful
country lies in between.
Diane
Ackerman
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
