About ninety per cent of the things in our lives are right
and about ten percent are wrong. If we want to be
happy, all we have to do is to concentrate on the
ninety per cent that are right and ignore the ten per cent
that are wrong. If we want to be worried and bitter
and have stomach ulcers, all we have to do is concentrate
on the ten per cent that are wrong and ignore the ninety
per cent that are glorious.
The words "Think and Thank" are inscribed in
many of the Cromwellian churches of England. These
words ought to be inscribed on our hearts, too.
"Think and Thank." Think of all we have to
be grateful for, and thank God for all our boons and
bounties.
Jonathan Swift, author of Gulliver's Travels, was
the most devastating pessimist in English
literature. He was so sorry that he had been born
that he wore black and fasted on his birthdays; yet, in
his despair, this supreme pessimist of English literature
praised the great health-giving powers of cheerfulness and
happiness. "The best doctors in the
world," he declared, "are Dr. Diet, Doctor
Quiet, and Doctor Merryman."
You and I may have the services of "Doctor Merryman"
free every hour of the day by keeping our attention fixed
on all the incredible riches we possess--riches exceeding
by far the fabled treasures of Ali Baba.
Would
you sell both your eyes for a billion dollars? What
would you take for your two legs? Your hands?
Your hearing? Your children? Your
family? Add up your assets, and you will find that
you won't sell what you have for all the gold ever amassed
by the Rockefellers, the Fords, and the Morgans combined.
But do we appreciate all this? Ah, no. As
Schopenhauer said: "We seldom think of what we
have but always of what we lack." Yes, the
tendency to "seldom think of what we have but always
of what we lack" is the greatest tragedy on
earth. It has probably caused more misery than all
the wars and diseases in history.
It caused John Palmer to turn "from a regular guy
into an old grouch," and almost wrecked his
home. I know because he told me so.
Mr. Palmer lives in Paterson, New Jersey.
"Shortly after I returned from the Army," he
said, "I started in business for myself. I
worked hard day and night. Things were going
nicely. Then trouble started. I couldn't get
parts and materials. I was afraid I would have to
give up my business. I worried so much that I
changed from a regular guy into an old grouch. I
became so sour and cross that--well, I didn't know it
then; but I now realize that I came very near to losing my
happy home.
"Then one day a young, disabled veteran who works for
me said, 'Johnny, you ought to be ashamed of
yourself. You take on as if you were the only person
in the world with troubles. Suppose you do have to
shut up shop for a while--so what? You can start up
again when things get normal. You've got a lot to be
thankful for. Yet you are always growling.
Boy, how I wish I were in your shoes! Look at
me. I've only got one arm, and half of my face is
shot away, and yet I am not complaining: If you
don't stop your growling and grumbling, you will lose not
only your business, but also your health, your home, and
your friends!'
"Those remarks stopped me dead in my tracks.
They made me realize how well off I was. I resolved
then and there that I would change and be my old self
again--and I did."
You and I ought to be ashamed of ourselves. All the
days of our years we have been living in a fairyland of
beauty, but we have been too blind to see, too satiated to
enjoy.
We
have some
inspiring and motivational books that may interest you. Our main way of supporting this site is
through the sale of books, either physical copies
or digital copies for your Amazon Kindle (including the
online reader). All of the money that we earn
through them comes back to the site
in one way or another. Just click on the picture
to the left to visit our page of books, both fiction and
non-fiction!
One aspect of nourishing the soul is the ability
to stay focused on the present, to live in the
present. Many years ago, in the 1960s, I
was writing a book called The Psychology of
Self-Esteem. I was a young man at the
time, in my thirties, and one day I was sitting
at my typewriter, impatient for the book to be
finished, thinking that my life would really
begin to unfold only when this book was
finished. Yet I intuitively knew that
something was wrong with this line of
thought. So I asked myself what I thought
I would be doing when the book was finished, and
I immediately answered, "Planning the next
book." And when the next book was
finished? "Planning the book after
that." I saw that my life, first and
foremost, was about writing: that was and
is my passion. So, in the middle of
writing The Psychology of Self-Esteem, I
finally realized "This is it. This is
my life. If I can't enjoy it now, every
day, there is no reason to believe I'll be
better able to enjoy it in the future, after the
seventh, eighth, or ninth book."
That realization was a turning point for
me. The impulse to focus on the future can
be quite strong. It's natural to look
ahead. Yet I realized that the key to
happiness lay in enjoying the process, not just
the final result--because the greater part of my
life was going to be spent at the level of
process and not at the stage of contemplating
the finished product. So now I bless each
day I can get up and go to my computer and sit
down to write and know and love the fact that
this is what my life is all about.
I believe that earning your living doing
something you enjoy is one of the very best ways
to nourish yourself. But even if you are
employed at something that is not your ideal
work, it is important to find ways to take as
much pleasure in it as possible. Living in
the present moment can make ordinary activities
more interesting and joyful; you may be
surprised, if you only look, at what you will
find. If you try to stay connected with
why you are doing what you are doing, for
example, then even the parts of your life that
aren't especially interesting can become more
meaningful.
Sometimes I have to go to an event that doesn't
especially interest me. I've learned to
tell myself, Make this experience as happy for
yourself as you possibly can. Once that
becomes a conscious purpose, it's amazing how
imaginative one can become. Life becomes
infinitely more interesting.
Nothing I am saying about the importance of
living in the present denies the value of being
concerned with the future. We want to keep
in mind our goals, what we're moving toward, and
to see the progression and direction that
underlie our activities. We need to be
able to plan for the future without sacrificing
the present, and enjoy the present without
making ourselves oblivious to the future.
Obviously, we cannot control every single aspect
of our life. We are not omnipotent.
But we do have an enormous degree of
responsibility for the shape our life
takes. We have many options about how we
will respond to events. We are not passive
spectators, but active contestants in the drama
of our existence. We need to take
responsibility for the kind of life we create
for ourselves.
How do we nurture the soul? By revering
our own life. By treating it as supremely
important. By reaching for the best within
ourselves. By learning to love it all, not
only the joys and the victories, but also the
pain and the struggles.
Living
Life Fully, the e-zine
exists to try to provide for visitors of the world wide web a
place
of growth, peace, inspiration, and encouragement. Our
articles
are presented as thoughts of the authors--by no means do
we
mean to present them as ways that anyone has to live
life. Take
from them what you will, and disagree with
whatever you disagree
with--just know that they'll be here for you
each week.
We are the same people as we
were at three, six, ten
or twenty years old. More noticeably so, perhaps, at
six or seven, because we were not pretending so much then.
Agatha Christie
The Bigger
Picture
Sometimes things start to seem overwhelming to me. Bills,
work, students, responsibilities, criticisms from some, pressure
from others. Some days seem like an unending stream of
tension and stress, and it's sometimes easy to allow that dynamic
to wash over me and make me feel frustration, aggravation, and
tension. Those are the days that threaten to make me do
things I normally wouldn't do, say things I normally wouldn't say,
or neglect things that I normally wouldn't neglect.
But as I grow older I recognize more and more that I do have a
choice as to how I react to all that goes on during such times.
Much of my choice is dependent upon how I see what's going on in
my life. If it's a time of stress, is that stress
permanent? Not usually. If it's a time of frustration,
is that frustration an indication of who I am as a person or what
I do? Generally not, for I go through many more times
without frustration than with frustration. When I look at
the bigger picture of my life and the world in general, then I'm
able to see that what's happening in the moment generally is a
momentary thing, and not something that defines me or the life
that I'm living.
Slow
down and take the time to really see. Take a moment to see
what is going on around you right now, right where you
are.
You may be missing something wonderful.
J.
Michael Thomas
We are on this planet a very short time. The planet itself
and the entire human race will outlive us by an incredible
amount. Somehow, though, we start to take things very, very
seriously, as if the things that are going on in our lives are
always of the utmost importance, always incredibly drastic in
their scope and their effect. I've been guilty of this
perspective many, many times in my life, and it's always made me
more miserable than I deserved to be. I'd get caught up in
the stress of a situation and my life would turn frantic and
frustrated as I tried to make the stress go away, rather than
keeping in mind that this, too, shall pass.
You do not have to sit outside in the
dark. If, however,
you want to look at the stars, you will find that darkness
is necessary. But the stars neither require nor demand
it.
One good example is at school. Some days at school, the
students seem to be off the wall--they're hyper and combative and
talkative and very difficult to get focused. I used to find
such days to be difficult to get through, as I imagined that it
was important that the students be under control at all
times. As time went on, though, I was able to get refocused
myself and realize that one difficult day now and then really
isn't much when we have 180 days in the school year. When I
spend that much time together with students, it becomes obvious
that one day of unstructured class time now and then isn't going
to be all that drastic.
When I was in the military, I had a job that covered a very small
portion of a bigger picture. Our work had to do with only a
limited area, and we were supposed to focus on that small area and
trust that others were taking care of the other areas. In a
way, that's what life is like, too. When we can realize that
our personal spheres of influence are, indeed, limited, then we
can much more easily take a step backwards and ask ourselves just
how drastic what we're going through really is. If I have to
deal with financial problems for a couple of years, that's not
that much if I'm on this planet for more than fifty years.
The problems at work right now may be difficult to go through, but
they are going to be resolved one way or another.
Inside
yourself or outside, you never have to
change what you see,
only the way you see it.
Thaddeus Golas
Having a bigger picture perspective does not mean that everything
we do becomes easy, or that nothing is important. After all,
everything's important. But sometimes we have to realize
that what we're losing sleep over really isn't important enough in
the long run to lose sleep over, and that things will turn out
much better than we think they will. If I have the basic
needs of life fulfilled--food, shelter, clothing, friends--then I
have what I need at the core of my being, and everything else is
extra. Only when I can see that fact, believe it, and live
by this truth will I be able to lose much of the stress that I
feel because I see only the immediate difficulties and not the
bigger picture.
If
we could only give, just once, the
same amount of reflection to what we
want to get out of life that we give to
the question of what to do with two
weeks' vacation, we would be startled
at our false standards and the
aimless procession of our busy days.
Dorothy Canfield Fisher
Have you
ever been with a child who feels different or challenged for
one reason or another? A loving and inspirational word or
two can work
wonders with a sensitive child. A gentle touch, a smile, a
compliment,
a warm look that implies, "Hey, you're okay and you're
loved" can make
a huge difference. And it works great with adults, too.
So how do we learn to be compassionate? The
people who are best
at being compassionate toward others have learned to be
compassionate
with themselves, first. Someone who talks lovingly to
himself or herself
excels in speaking loving words to others, and the opposite is
true. If you
verbally beat yourself up as a habit, you will tend to be
negative toward other people, too.
I am
willing to put myself through anything; temporary pain or discomfort
means nothing to me as long as I can see that the experience will
take me
to a new level. I am interested in the unknown, and the only
path to the
unknown is through breaking barriers, an often painful process.
Diana Nyad
Yes, life
can be mysterious and confusing--but there's much of life that's
actually rather dependable and reliable. Some principles apply
to life in so many different contexts that they can truly be called
universal--and learning what they are and how to approach them and use
them can teach us some of the most important lessons that we've ever
learned.
My doctorate is in Teaching and Learning. I use it a lot when I
teach at school, but I also do my best to apply what I've learned to
the life I'm living, and to observe how others live their lives.
What makes them happy or unhappy, stressed or peaceful, selfish or
generous, compassionate or arrogant? In this book, I've done my
best to pass on to you what I've learned from people in my life,
writers whose works I've read, and stories that I've heard.
Perhaps these principles can be a positive part of your life, too! Universal Principles of Living Life Fully. Awareness of
these principles can explain a lot and take much of the frustration
out of the lives we lead.
Explore all of our
quotations pages--these links will take you to the first page of each
topic, and those pages will contain links to any additional pages on
the same topic (there are five pages on adversity, for example).
™
